Citation: tinyidiot. "Is This What People Call Fun: An Experience with Heroin (exp106643)". Erowid.org. Mar 21, 2016. erowid.org/exp/106643
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So over my now three years of proper drug taking I have encountered many highs, drugs that I love and disappointments. I have taken most of the “normal drugs”: Cannabis, Mushrooms, LSD, DMT, Salvia, 2c-b-i-e, MDMA, mda, amphetamine, 4-MMC, 4-MEC cocaine, ketamine, legals, plus was using fishscale cocaine almost daily for 4 months and also had a three month period of extremely heavy MDMA use. I had never tried any opiates and so as an ever excitable fan of psychoactive drugs I fancied going straight for the biggest and most stigmatised one. Knowing exactly where my drugs come from I bought 200mg of #4 south east asian white heroin. This particular batch had labtested at 88% diamorphine 12% morphine and the massively overenthusiastic junkies who had tried it confirmed that it was indeed the best thing they had ever put in their veins. I’m certain the purity was sky high, if not exactly as the dealer claimed.
Having bought the heroin I planned to try it with some close friends on a chilled night in. All of the friends would be first timers also. Though when the evening came around and I asked whether anyone wanted to try heroin with me they thought I was mental and had gone a step too far with the new drugs I had brought for them to try with me. I still wanted to try it and so a few days later I took a tiny, allergy testing dose of 6mg (snorted) just to see if it worked. I sniffed it, with a heart beating very fast at the anticipation of trying my first of “the big three” (heroin, meth, crack), however ten minutes after taking it I just felt really sleepy and itchy so went to bed with heavy limbs and had a good nights sleep. I woke up in the morning feeling quite astounded that this high purity, insanely addictive drug had amounted to just be a good nights sleep with some satisfying scratching.
I figured that I hadn’t taken enough to get the “heroin high” that people say is a million times better than sex (Though I think sex is pretty overrated for intensity of pleasure anyway. Reckon I have really weak orgasms by comparison to other dudes, but can happily say that to me a good MDMA come up or 4-MMC high is a prolonged better than sex experience, but anyway back to the story!). So a week or so later, I decided to go for 20mg insufflated, to hit the bottom of the heavy dosage. Within a few minutes I was pretty aware that I was getting heavy and relaxed, with that same sleepy feeling. I watched some psytrance festival videos on you tube and waited. By twenty minutes in I was feeling no “euphoria”, just a bit stuck to the bed comfy.
I decided to shoot for euphoria and so at about twenty five minutes in I snorted another 20mg line… within minutes I was feeling much more stuck to the bed, noticed my eyes were drooping a lot and I was nodding in and out of daydreams about absolutely nothing. I ceased to care at all about the videos (or anything ever) and felt a feeling that’s hard to describe. I can only describe it as intense nothing or an overwhelming hollowness. The drug was very strong, but it was just nothing and empty. I certainly wasn’t having what I consider to be fun or feeling very good.
The drug was very strong, but it was just nothing and empty. I certainly wasn’t having what I consider to be fun or feeling very good.
I noticed that my breathing was incredibly shallow and that I couldn’t take deep breaths when I tried, which was weird and was later to find out that respiratory suppression is what kills people on heroin. Not knowing this at the time I decided to have one last line to really push it and see if I unlock any further, correction any, fun from this. I weighed out an 8mg line (as I was already extremely intoxicated), after having an incredibly difficult walk from my bed to the desk. I then sniffed it and went back to the bed. I don’t really know when I went out, but I knocked myself out with it and woke up at just gone seven the next morning.
Now the people in my house don’t leave until eight in the morning and I woke up at seven, feeling absolutely as rough as it gets and desperate to vomit. Of course I wasn’t too keen on rushing to the toilet and throwing up, whilst clearly intoxicated, with pin pupils, in the same bathroom as others who are brushing their teeth before work. So I waited and fought off nausea for a whole hour, shivering and soaked in sweat, covered in goosebumps. It was grim. Finally the front door closed and I ran out to the toilet (more of an intoxicated shuffle, I was still far from normal) and dry heaved into it, unable to actually vomit (I never manage to vomit, often to my detriment). Once I felt comfortable to leave the toilet I took myself downstairs and had my normal breakfast. I had to pretty much force it down, but I knew that it would make me feel better.
Mistake! As I had finished and was taking the plate out to the dishwasher I had to throw up again so I ran out the back door into the garden and dry wretched like some kind of shivering creature until I felt I could walk back inside. I brushed my teeth, then just took myself back to bed where I dozed in and out of sleep and horrible periods of sweaty, but cold, awake until maybe two in the afternoon. Time absolutely flew by though, completely the opposite to time on psychedelics. Once I woke I got on with my day and was feeling completely normal again by the evening, near enough twenty four hours after I took the heroin.
In summary: although I’ve never been a fan of sedative type drugs (hate smoking weed when sober etc) and am pretty much all about the hype or introspective, thought provoking drugs; I really can’t see how anybody finds this a pleasurable way to spend their time. If you are consumed by troubles that eat you up every day, then I could see how the absolutely desolate desert that is your mind on heroin would be a preferable state. Also if you haven’t slept in a while, and find sleeping your life away in fast forward a good use of life, or if you’re just into scratching a really good itch I can see the appeal. So! If you are an insomniac with constant flashbacks to your history of child abuse, can’t stand proper motor control, love to itch, hate feeling warm in the morning, but equally have a desperate urge to get a good sweat on, and enjoy a surprise vom to get the day going before you crawl back to bed, plus have a fear of pooing; then heroin is totally the drug for you!
I flushed the remainder of it down the toilet despite having paid just over £40 for the 200mg, it was that awful (in my opinion, in my body, compared against how I like to feel and what I consider euphoria). By far the most boring drug I have tried, coupled with the worst come down ever. 1/10 would not try again.
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