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All the Pain in the World All in My Mind
Spice-Like Smoking Blends (Blue Magic)
by Blipblop
Citation:   Blipblop. "All the Pain in the World All in My Mind: An Experience with Spice-Like Smoking Blends (Blue Magic) (exp106666)". Erowid.org. Jul 31, 2019. erowid.org/exp/106666

 
DOSE:
1 bowl smoked Products - Spice-Like Smoking Blends

BODY WEIGHT: 80 kg


'Blue Magic' is sold in smoke shops in Victoria, Australia as a herbal incense that is not intended for human consumption. I have been messing with this brand for around 9 months, and with similar substances for 18 months.

For this experience I was in a garage of a place I'm comfortable and familiar with, I was in a good mindset
I was in a garage of a place I'm comfortable and familiar with, I was in a good mindset
, I'd had some good news in the morning and had had a fun day shopping and eating nice things.

I smoked the cone and placed the bong on the floor, turned off the light to the garage and went to walk to the door, intending to go inside and have a snack and lay around with the small dogs that live in the home.

I lost some ability to walk and found it hard to keep balance, but I didn't fall. I fell very deeply into my mind as I managed to balance my hands on the door and distribute my weight over all my limbs.

I could see a group of people. I could feel a huge powerful presence, evil only in its ability to do anything and in its inability to care what impact it had. Suddenly it 'gave pain' to one of the people in the group. These were all nondescript people I didn't recognise physically or emotionally. The person began to cry out 'not me, not me, anyone else, just not me!' I felt no distress about the situation or for the person, but I felt I could probably deal with it, and they clearly could not. I somehow let the presence know that I was volunteering to deal with the pain instead.
I could not deal with it.

My mind exploded with a million racing thoughts. Immediately. Bargaining with it. Anything. Do anything to anyone. To everyone. Just make this end, I can't have this, not me, just not me, just no. I suddenly understood that the human mind was not bound by the bodily nerves. Pain can be infinite and intangible and purely inside your mind. This was not sadness, this was pure agony, and it really was infinite.

I don't know if I spoke aloud for most of this, the thoughts in my mind were so large and so real that a physical voice would not have compared
the thoughts in my mind were so large and so real that a physical voice would not have compared
. I knew I had to convince the presence. That I Understoood. I Understand. I Understand pain. I Understand I was foolish to think I could be the hero and survive this. How arrogant I had been to think I could deal with something when I had seen someone else completely collapse under the weight of the Pain. I Understand. It needs to stop because I Learned. Really, I swear, I know, I KNOW this can happen at any time, this is my mind, this is reality, this is Possible.

Eventually it all ended and I could see my arms leaning on the garage door again, and I did speak aloud. The presence was still there amongst my cells, in my neutrons, in every breath I took and every piece of dust and gym equipment in the garage. I told it calmly that I knew it was Letting Me Go Free. Thank you. Thank you because I Understand that You Are Everywhere. I Understand that I am being spared, I'm not just sobering up, this is mercy.

Deep breaths kept me from falling back into it, keeping my eyes open and focussed on the door, on my body kept me grounded.
The whole thing lasted about 6 minutes.

Exp Year: 2015ExpID: 106666
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 26 
Published: Jul 31, 2019Views: 516
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Products - Spice-Like Smoking Blends (472) : Entities / Beings (37), Difficult Experiences (5), Alone (16)

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