Forced Removal of Armor
Citation:   T Rhythm. "Forced Removal of Armor: An Experience with MDMA (exp106775)". Dec 22, 2022.

1 tablet oral MDMA
I had been a constant user of cannabis for a few years when I started becoming more and more interested in using other drugs. The interest would only take me so far though due to pretty high anxiety I've experienced my whole life. One substance I was dead set on trying, though, was MDMA. Finding it in a small town where I'm from just proved to be harder than usual, though.

I decided at Bonnaroo 2014, I would try my best to go out of my way to find MDMA in any form, Molly or X. I had preferred finding ecstasy though, because of the fact it's a pill I could just swallow. Once I got to bonnaroo, I was officiously on the hunt for X... But it seemed quite the opposite had taken place.

Once my friends and I were finished setting up camp, we started talking to our next camp site neighbors and after about 30 minutes I brought up that I was going to try to find MDMA. One of the dudes spoke up and told me he had over 150 pills he had gotten from some underground website. He showed me the two different kinds of MDMA pills, one with 'BUGATTI' on it and the other looking like a domino. He claimed he got them from a website shipped from the Netherlands (I searched for them when I got home and verified he wasn't lying). I bought one of the dominoes and saved it for the next day's big concert, Kanye West.

Once I had gotten to the stage with all of my friends, I decided to take the ecstasy pill and then moments later the concert started. After about 20-30 minutes of singing and dancing, I started to feel a bit... Different. I was feeling as loose as I had ever felt. It felt as if I went from moving through life controlling my actions due to what people would think of me, to not even thinking one person was paying attention
I went from moving through life controlling my actions due to what people would think of me, to not even thinking one person was paying attention
, and that feeling alone was priceless.

After a little bit over an hour, the effects were in full swing. Lights looked as if it were streaming into my face from the source, sort of the way light looks if you squint your eyes very tight. Time seemed to be taken off of the measurable grid, and shifted into wind that flowed through the surroundings ever so smoothly. Dancing to the music and enjoying the utter bliss that came along with what is known as ecstasy, It finally clicked on my brain why the drug got that nickname. Every sensual system in my body was in total overdrive. But the most magical part of this drug was yet to happen.

Kanye had been playing songs for over and hour, and I noticed a girl in front of me singing songs word for word just like I was. We walked toward each other and started to dance and sing together and it was amazing. (Two years before this, I had a break up with a girl that really messed me up with love.) Once the concert was over, we looked at each other, and I felt something I hadn't felt in over two years. I wanted to kiss her, but not because she was aesthetically attractive, but because I felt like I had made a genuine connection with her, and I appreciated who she was as a soul. This, however, was a startling feeling for me, and since I didn't know if she was also on drugs, I just hugged her and went our separate ways.

I sat down with a friend in the grass while he ate (I had zero appetite) and just quietly thought about how I had felt. Obviously, I knew that MDMA is the love drug. But it made me think of myself in not a logical way, but an emotional way. I instantly knew, that I had protected myself with huge psychological walls to ensure I never got my heart broken again. But as I sat there, gently stroking my arms (I felt a cool sensation all over my skin but was also coherent enough to realize I was sweating hot) I saw the positives that come with love and not the negatives.

After another hour or two, the sensations began to wear off. During this time, I talked amongst friends with a feeling of openness I had never experienced before. I was explaining how I felt to people in ways I honestly didn't even know I had thought about. What I was saying felt like it was new to me but also deep down it felt like I had known most of this my whole life. The lessons I picked up were invaluable during this experience. Six months later, I got a new girlfriend.

The total experience was about 4 hours. It's definitely something I needed to try, but it's also something I wouldn't go overboard with.

Exp Year: 2014ExpID: 106775
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 23
Published: Dec 22, 2022Views: 1,590
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MDMA (3) : Glowing Experiences (4), Relationships (44), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), First Times (2), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)

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