Citation: CosmoKramer. "What Happened Last Night: An Experience with Alcohol - Beer & Etizolam (exp106874)". Erowid.org. Feb 27, 2018. erowid.org/exp/106874
So to start out this report, I must say that usually I am very responsible when it comes to harm reduction and combining substances. This particular experience, however was a very bad judgement on my part, and not an experience I plan to repeat due to the dangerous nature of the combination of benzodiazepines and alcohol. Prior to this experience, I had done marijuana(every day in high school), alcohol, tobacco, psilocybin mushrooms, LSD, MDMA, Xanax, Codeine, Oxycodone, Morphine, Hydrocodone, Tramadol(was addicted for the better part of a year), cocaine, Adderall, Ritalin, Vyvanse and Kratom.
A couple months before this experience, I had just got my own place, a run-down, ghetto college housing apartment in the heart of Buffalo, with my two best friends, C and A. To properly enjoy our freedom from our parents watch, we did plenty of drugs at said apartment. After having an epiphany about his life, A decided to suddenly move to Massachusetts with his mother to start a fresh life, and get away from all the BS that Buffalo had thrown at him. Since he was moving away, we decided to throw him a proper party.
My experience at the party starts out with a six-pack of craft beer (Magic Hat #9). Other than a bit of Marijuana, that was all that I had for the party. I figured with the large amount of people coming, I'd be able to just drink the six-pack, and maintain a steady buzz by matching with the people at the party, because I knew everyone would have weed. I'm sure I smoked at least once at the party, but to be honest, I really don't remember if I smoked. Since the party was thrown at my residence, me, A, and C pre-gamed before everyone got there. By the time the party really started kicking off, I had already drank my six pack. Considering that I was drinking craft beer, and I am a pretty small person, I had a pretty good buzz going from the six-pack.
A few weeks before the party, I found out about Etizolam, a legal benzodiazepine drug that I could get dirt cheap on the web. This was appealing to me, as I have had anxiety issues my entire life. I have been prescribed Xanax for panic attacks, but I honestly didn't like it. Yes, it would stop a panic attack in its tracks, but it would leave me lazy and emotionless, and pretty much straight up depressed. This made me want to find a drug that would kill my anxiety, but not make me into a zombie. Etizolam appeared to be what I was looking for. I ended up ordering two blisters of ten Etizest-1 1mg tablets made by a company in India. I originally tried two tablets (2mg) and was met with exactly what I was looking for, a substantial anxiety relief, while still having the ability to experience happiness. A day after that, I told A about Etizolam, as he has anxiety issues as well, and he described 2mg as 'the perfect level'.
Back to the party. Once I was a six-pack deep and feeling good, A says 'Hey man, you got any of those pills left?'. I had planned on restraining myself from having more Etizolam that night, as I had taken some the past 3 nights, and I didn't want to become addicted. Also, I knew how powerful the combination of alcohol and benzos was. Regardless, when I heard A say this, the inner-addict in me said 'He's leaving for a long time, we got to make our last day together count'. I grinned and grabbed the pills from my room. I came back with the pills and gave two to A, two to my friend J (who seemed curious about the pills when I talked about them earlier), and put two in front of myself.
For some reason, I decided to snort the first pill, even though most people agree that benzos are not that much more effective snorted than eaten. Once I snorted the first Etizolam, I remember feeling awesome and like I didn't give a fuck about anything. This caused me to snort another one, and after that, I experienced a complete blackout. The only thing I remembered was looking at an empty pill bottle, and asking everybody where my pills were, to which they responded 'You blew them all.', and then stumbling into my room and seeing my friend S sleeping in my bed and telling him 'hey, I need to sleep'. He migrated to the floor of my room, and I passed out for many hours. I woke up completely confused, as I didn't remember much of the party, and asked my friends 'what the fuck happened last night?'. Apparently, I proceeded to snort/eat the remainder of my pills (6 1mg tablets). I didn't seem that messed up until I got up from the couch. At some point, A and J decided that they weren't messed up enough, so they decided to smoke some Salvia in A's room. Intrigued, I decided to accompany them and watch them trip face. When I got up, my coordination was completely gone, and I stumbled around and rammed into the dining room table. This left a painful bump on my chest, but I continued on, determined to watch my friends trip face. I got into A's room and kept my composure for a second, but then proceeded to fall forehead first onto the CORNER of A's dresser. I didn't fall onto the top or the front, I slammed my forehead directly onto the corner of the dresser. Once I was on the floor, A asked, concerned, 'Are you OK, man?'. I burst out laughing and asked 'What?'. I didn't even realize what I had just done, and was just enjoying being fucked up.
I woke up disoriented and burnt out with a huge pain in my skull and several pains in my chest from all of the falls I had taken. My friends jokingly all asked 'Did you have fun last night?', as well as A's 14-year old brother, who was at the party as well, and who brings the incident up every time I see him, which worries me as he is at that impressionable age.
Overall, I used very poor judgement this night. I didn't do anything too bad, but I easily could have put myself or others in danger.
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