DOSE:

1 drop

oral

LSD

(liquid)

BODY WEIGHT:

128 lb

Before I had ever taken any LSD, I smoked cannabis daily since the age of 14, and had spent years learning of meditation and yoga, I have always had a positive outlook on life and have lived with love from the minute I was born. I never felt like I had anything to worry about, but this had often lead to carelessness, and mischief. I had also spent years researching LSD and experimenting with cough syrups and mushrooms I found growing in the forest, just hoping for the visions and experiences of those reported in the 1960s.

At the age of 19, I started taking LSD regularly, at least once a week. But the most powerful experience was my first one, and this is the documentation of that experience.

My friend who was going off to college, contacted me when I was in bed about to sleep one night, she wanted to spend one last night with me and her 3-year boyfriend before going off to college. She had decided that she wanted us to all take some MDMA and I live in Texas, where this drug is common in certain late night dance clubs. So we arrived at the club at around 11:30, and her boyfriend was too young to enter so me and her went in and after a brief stroll, I heard someone my age saying ' ecstacy ' and asked him if he had any for sale. But something inside me, after years of research, had to know if he also had LSD, so I asked, and he did. I was so excited, he put one drop in each of our mouths and we bought an ecstacy pill for our friend, he told us that he was close to the chemist and the drop of liquid he dropped in my mouth contained little over 300 micrograms of LSD.

Dose ingested: 11:57. We rushed to the car, and started driving to my house, I turned on 'alans psychedelic breakfast' by pink floyd, and were silent with anticipation the entire drive home, other than saying how nice it was to see each other again after about a year apart.

It took 45 minutes to get home and we decided to go to the large golfcourse by my house to spend our time. So I grabbed my guitar and my cannabis, but we all gathered on my back porch to wait for the drugs to work.

12:07: I began to feel rather drunk, and dizzy and encouraged my friends to start walking with me to the golf course. I was filled with joy and a little anxiety as I walked down the street, I was completely overwhelmed by this strange intoxication, and just as we opened the gate to the golf course, I felt as if I was separating from my body, like I was becoming all of the molecules that made up my body and slowly merging with everything around me. I noticed that I was no longer, me.. I was just everything, I was the rolling hills of the golf course and I was every atom that makes up the oxygen in the air between me and the trees, and I was the trees too. I then became completely overwhelmed by unbearable love for everything.

As soon as I began to love, my vision became that of a wildly exotic kaleidoscope, everything, the ground, the trees the hills were geometric, and they were all spinning beautifully in a kaleidoscope, then I had recognition, that everything I see, is only what it is (sober) because of perception, and I had been so far off my whole life, there is no work, no school, no friends, and no self, just love, pure and unconditional love I saw that everything that was anything to me was that way because I made it to be that way, good or bad, when there was really, neither. I had a brief instance of the return of self, which was glowing with the awkward perception I have of my self, but then I just felt intense love in me center of my chest, as this huge sphere rolled towards me, it had thousands of small tiles on it, like a disco ball, each of which was a different angle of my face, all laughing, and they changed as my mood changed. I was literally watching my self, and seeing these perceptions I used to have, and as I tried to evaluate them, it all just became holy, like any thing I did, any way I felt, each movement I made was a reaction to the perception I had of 'negativity' and became a path way to love, or god, as I moved or responded in a way that would provide comfort or understanding to me, like I was just transforming the negative to positive, seeing as how I was only uncomfortable until I was comfortable, and seeing that everything was one and there was noting but eternal love, I, at that point, had no need for hate, negativity, sorrow, or emotion for that matter. I felt like it was the first time I had ever woken up. All the patterns around me, everything I knew as grass or trees or outside was just dancing, singing and loving me.

The visual hallucinations were becoming almost too intense and were starting to give me a headache, and so I grabbed my pipe and tried to pour my cannabis into if from my grinder but I was having so much trouble even sitting up straight that all of my bud was just poured onto the ground. I could only laugh. I got back up and tried walk over to my friends , who had gone their own ways since we had gotten to the golf course.

As I walked, the hills grew and shrunk, and changed colors vividly from blues to purples to electric yellows. The sky changed colors too, but it was never the same color as the hills, just as vivid, but never the same. As I looked up at the stars, could see them moving around, like watching bacteria under a microscope, but they also had lines connecting them, like the pictures you see that depict constellations.

I found my friends and sat down to play guitar, me and my friend also on acid were the only ones sitting down, the ecstacy was apparently bunk for my buddy. I played 'wish you were here' by pink floyd, and beautiful colors swayed in front of me as the tones changed, I could see the smiling faces of my family growing out of the colors and forming in front of me as if they were the colors-as my feelings changed at different points of the song, like I was matching their energy at times of their life, it was like we were all experiencing it together, and right then I knew, that I have no mom, and no dad, and we are all the same person, one thing, were just a group of molecules multiplying and dying, were all just love. Beautiful, eternal love.

My sober buddy wanted to leave, and me and my friend were so 'at peace', that we just got up, though as we started to leave everything just kept growing in intensity.

As we walked I attempted closing my eyes because I could feel waves of energy flowing through me that were just growing in intensity, and I was trying to escape the harsh electric feeling that would shoot through me as they passed, and every time I closed my eyes I didn't want to open them again, it was like there were different things to be seen every time I closed them, the first time I shut my eyes, a cloud formed in the center of my vision and faces of things I had seen in my childhood started growing and shrinking out of the contours of the cloud, Gumby, Bugs Bunny, and finger puppets my sisters used to play with me with, grew and became love, then shrink back into the cloud.

As I walked down the street I closed my eyes again, I saw flashes of hamsas, and symbols I have seen that describe certain religions, crosses, stars, people, such as saints I have never seen before and hindu gods, just ever changing in front of my eyes, morphing into each other... They were all one, still I saw only love behind all of them, as if there is no religion, because it appeared to me that I WAS god, and (to me) jesus was just a sage, or a guru, trying to tell people about love-or the pathway to understanding, oneness, unity or in my eyes 'the godhead'. I was jesus. I was buddha. I was, the universe. And it didn't matter if it was moses, or muhammad, it was and to me, is always- just a groovy trip to the center, where you just become it all, and you just love.

My friend drove us to his house, as it was a safe place to be on a hallucinogen, and I couldn't tell you more than 10 seconds of that 30 minute car ride because of all of these visions, colors and shapes I had that kept me from actually seeing the road, or even being able to comprehend that I was in a car, it was absolutely mind blowing, one of the only things I can tell you is that at one point, the car, with everyone in it had shrunk to a size of a molecule and soaked into my skin, then I was tied right back in to the visuals.

As I started to come down from the trip and realize that 'I' had problems again, but patterns would infuse them selfs into those problems and show me that its my perspective that created them and that there not real and I was still part of this ever changing love. One of the last hallucinations I had was a border on the top and bottom of my line of sight, like I was looking at a computer, they were dancing skeletons, not scary just rejoicing, as if to say, 'thanks for coming and meeting us, we will always be here, but remember, that we never were'.

LSD changed my life, and each experience was different, but the message of love was in all of them.

[Erowid Note: Claims of measured microgram dosages for LSD are usually unsupported. Quantitative measurements for LSD are very difficult to do and cannot be done casually. Without further detailed information about how the measurements were derived, it is reasonable to assume that most statements of microgram dosages of LSD on blotter or in microdots are either misinformed or overstated.]

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 107000
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Jan 18, 2021	Views: 618
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