Citation: perturbations. "Tantalising Truths of Conscious Experience: An Experience with 1P-LSD (exp107330)". Erowid.org. Nov 8, 2015. erowid.org/exp/107330
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| T+ 2:00
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My mindset was good, I had been looking forward to doing 1P-LSD and had thought (at the time) I was ready - my fiancée had gone away for the weekend so there was no chances of any interruptions. I have done psychedelics before, mushrooms numerous times and salvia once. I invited a friend to partake in the experience.
(+0 hrs 50µg)
For the first couple of hours of the trip the effects were similar to mushrooms; walls were breathing, furnishings took on an almost conscious quality, music was very much bringing the experience together.
(+2 hrs 50µg)
Two hours in and my friend said he was taking the other half of his blotter - I didn't want to be left behind so we both took them. Around this time I started to lose grip of reality and the ordering of events is not really clear to me.
It seemed at times that my friend would be communicating to me psychically, I'm sure that on a number of occasions we would be able to communicate without actually talking. We were watching a nature documentary (which was a really great choice) and the TV picture would start integrating with the surrounding room - trails of colour would be moving through the room. Looking at my friend, sometimes his face would be zooming in, in a kind of weird Russian doll style effect.
The peak of the trip started with my friend asking me whether I knew how to play chess, this question started a theme of duality in the trip between my friend and I. My friend started acting as some sort of conduit for reality itself, what he was saying was leading to something so reality shifting I believe that I was on my way to what some people refer to as complete ego death. A number of times, he would be using references that were leading me down a certain path in my trip, he had an 'all knowing' kind of demeanour and at one point said 'it's taking you a little longer than most to realise' and 'I love to be there to see the look on their face the moment that it happens'. I feared at this point that there is a truth to this reality that is so mind-blowlingly crazy that if I were to understand it, it would risk my entire sense of reality and so I backed down from it - I felt like at this point I was offered, to use a crass analogy; the red pill or the blue pill. I chose not to go further - my ego wanted to hold on to reality too much.
I started realising a certain visual 'pattern' which I now understand to be perception itself (or the act of my consciousness interacting with or processing ordinary visual inputs). It appeared everywhere, was moving and appeared to be based on fractals, it looked extremely bizarre. In the nature documentary I would see fractals in the trees, rocks, river systems - I realised that it's all because they are all interacting with reality in a similar way. Fractals are simply the easiest/most efficient way for a system to perturb or react with reality.
What I now know is tantalising - I know that there is a truth but I still am not 100% sure what it is. My general conclusion is that consciousness wants to experience itself and whoever or whatever force is behind reality uses each one of our conscious minds to understand a little more. It makes so much sense to me, everyone knows that consciousness exists because they are conscious - the proof is right there. I believe all conscious minds are connected to the main 'source' (again like The Matrix - plugged into a 'mainframe' system) and that we are all connected to it.
There is one other theme that cropped up, and that was that consciousness is our only proof that reality exists - we think we are all separate people interacting in a consistent reality but perhaps this is not the case. I was getting hints that my whole reality could be a fabrication.
Taking into account the infinite nature of the universe and consciousness would it not make sense for an infinite different conscious minds to be reacting to a completely different set of circumstances? What if all that exists an infinite different possibilities happening all at once?
While coming down and cooking a pizza it came out of the oven looking completely unappealing, so far away from what would be considered good for the body/soul/mind, I tasted a small piece and discarded it.
I've completely come back down now and can say that was one of the most jaw-droppingly amazing experiences of my life and still there is more to discover about this reality. I've come to understand how absolutely blessed we are to be experiencing life and that we should make the most of it while we are here.
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