Citation: Clonitrainwreck. "Living While Dead: An Experience with Clonazolam (exp107339)". Erowid.org. Nov 10, 2015. erowid.org/exp/107339
||(pill / tablet)
I'll start this off with an experience report I wrote right after my first time taking this substance, in which I suffered the negative consequences of this drug. The first time I only took a measly 0.5mg of this substance! Afterwards, I'll talk about my SECOND negative experience. Both of these were only a week apart and show the truly dangerous side of this new research chemical. Hopefully this report will teach people to be very careful with this new substance (and all new substances!), which can be obtained legally online just about anywhere in the United States.
Part 1 is essentially a comedy compared to Part 2. Part 2 is far more serious, and what the title is based off of. I've marked both, so skip to Part 2 if you're easily bored.
'Lo and behold! My clonazolam had finally arrived. Perfect timing, I thought I'd go back home, take one and get a decent day's sleep (I generally sleep from around 5 or 6 to 1 or 2). So, I get home and immediately open the bottle and take one single .5mg pill (advertised as .7, to be exact). I then sat on my computer, waiting for the effects to kick in so I could drag myself into bed finally and get some rest.
I'd ordered these pills so that I could sleep whilst going through alcohol withdrawals. My long-time girlfriend and I had recently broken up as well, so I figured it'd take the edge off of that.
Sadly, my day did not go quite as planned. As the effects kicked in, I decided it was a great time to go for a cigarette. Now, this is where the shit hits the fan. I go outside to find I only had one cigarette left! Even though I was feeling very inebriated from just a single one of these little pills, I decided it'd be a great idea to drive into town and buy another pack of smokes for later. I had totally forgotten about wanting to sleep at this point.
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
So I hop in my car, turn it on, and head to the store. I was still dressed in my night garb (a pretty strange outfit), with ruffled hair, and one sock off. I walked into the gas station, and the lady immediately noticed my inebriation. She told me I'd need to go get shoes before I would be allowed to buy the pack of cigarettes.
What! This had never happened before at this place, never had this lady been this rude to me. I pleaded with her to sell me them quickly and I'd be out, as I didn't want to drive all the way back for some shoes. She told me no and that I needed to leave.
So, in my benzo'd state of mind, I decided it'd be a great idea to push this situation even further. I took the packaging from the mail I had just received and stuck one foot in it. The other I stuck in an old envelope (honestly, I don't remember what I used for the other shoe, I have quite a few blanks at this point). I stormed back in and DEMANDED she sell me cigarettes, raising my feet and saying 'SEE! SHOES!'. She obliged.
As I was driving home, three cops pull up behind me and follow me all the way back to my house. Right as I was pulling in my driveway, all three of them turn on their lights. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. FUCK. F.U.C.K.
I pull into my driveway and stop. One of them gets out and walks up to my car.
'Sir, have you been drinking today?' He asked.
Keep in mind, its around 1:00p.m., definitely not a normal time for your average person to be drinking.
'Most definitely not, sir,' I replied, in the most upright manner I could.
He immediately told me to get out of the car and placed me in handcuffs. He told me the lady at the gas station had notified them that an intoxicated individual was rampaging inside of her store and had driven off in a car. I told him I hadn't taken anything and I would submit to any blood, breathalyzers, or even a field test. For some reason, I pulled it off and they performed none of these. However, the reason they had immediately put me in cuffs was because, apparently, I had forgotten about a traffic ticket a few months ago and had never shown up for my court date. The officer asked to search my car, and in my fucked state of mind, not wanting to draw anymore attention to my obvious inebriation, I said yes. They found my one-hitter in the car and confiscated it.
I was hauled off to county jail, over 40 minutes from my house.
The ride felt like nothing, I barely remember it but I remember it being the shortest 40 minutes of my life, almost falling asleep in the back seat. I then spent the next 8 or so hours in jail, however, it literally felt like an hour.
Lucky for me, the cop gave me a break since I was so cooperative and only gave me a charge for the paraphernalia, not even for the resin inside it. Even if he did try and charge me with a DUI, there would be no way to prove it in court so I got saved there when they decided not to perform any tests on me. Overall, this whole incident should only cost me around $200.
Even though I had plenty of memory lapses, I wasn't slurring my words or any of that jazz. Just a little loopy and definitely buzzed. Definitely quite a bit of euphoria from this stuff. Completely took the edge off of the alcohol withdrawal.'
And it just keeps going, I'll keep the last part short.
Me and my ex-girlfriend went ahead and talked things out. She had recently cheated on me, but in my state of mind (I was up to 2-3 pills a day at that point), I figured life goes on.
We were chilling at my house with her friend when we decided to have another night of benzo binging. She had been taking Xanax regularly for the week after we broke up, so I figured she'd have a high tolerance. I was already on 3 pills when she started dosing. Things are a huge blur this night, but one thing sticks out in my mind. I told her repeatedly not to take my car and drive home. Over and over again. She was very persistent. She was very worried about her daughter, and late at night her mother had sent her a text telling her that she had a bad feeling and would like her to come home.
At around 8 in the morning, we had one more talk about it. At this point I passed out. She decided, oh, why not take his car now!
Long story short, she took the car, wrecked it off the side of the road, and ended up in jail. I had pills and weed in the car and she got busted with both. She received multiple felony charges.
When she got to the hospital, she was completely passed out. The doctors did a brain scan to see if she was still alive, and they thought her brain had been shut off for 12 hours. They called her parents and broke the news that their daughter had passed away. When they wrote the police report, and in the hospital records themselves, they mentioned she'd been sitting in the ditch for around 12 hours before they found her because they couldn't understand just how the brain could shut off in this way, especially since all a blood test showed was marijuana. They attempted to pointlessly revive her with a machine at the hospital, giving her damage to her heart. She woke up 2 days after the incident. She then spent the next two weeks in jail waiting for a bail hearing. If her charges go through (which there's a strong chance they won't, according to her lawyer), she'll be on felony probation for 5 years.
I've since talked to her and her memories of the night are very askew. Its like she started dreaming as soon as the pills kicked in. Apparently, I was speaking in backwards and chopped up sentences, and right before she left she thought I had told her she'd be fine if she drove my car home! She also thought she had left my house at around 1am, around when her mother texted her. I don't know if what she said was bullshit or not, but I believe it.
PLEASE. If you decide to use this substance, one pill is all you need. This drug slows the brain's functioning to the extent that you are considered clinically dead. I have no idea how many pills we all consumed that night, but I was knocked out completely until around 6pm the next day.
1mg of this substance could easily be considered at least a Xanax bar, if not two. It also lasts twice as long. I will never touch this stuff again, as long as I live. The withdrawal was HELL. Worse than Xanax for sure, and lasted for a couple weeks. The worst was over in about 5-6 days. SEVERE nerve pain and paranoia. I was convinced an invisible entity was trying to take my life for a week straight. I had audio hallucinations and a severe increase in HPPD. I made a full recovery however, and do not think there were any permanent after-effects.
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