DOSE:

2 hits

smoked

Salvia divinorum

(extract)

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

The Setting

I was about ready to go to bed when my roommate finally came out of his room. I was sitting on a couch in the living room of our apartment. I was so excited. “Dude, you have to check this stuff out! Its ten times more intense and fun than regular weed”, I said naively. “Hmmmm. It lasts only for five minutes?” he asked hesitantly. “Yes, it only lasts for five minutes”, I said. “It’s safe?” “Dude, it’s totally safe, I am sure nothing will go wrong and the trip will definitely not last more than five minutes” I said eagerly “Okay…” he replied. My roommate and excitedly packed a bowl of salvia 20x extract and I gave him instructions on how to smoke it.

He took a rip. I looked at him: “How are you feeling?” I asked in a laughing manner. He looked at me with a blank face: “Nothing”. We packed another bowl. He took another rip except with twice as much. “So?” I asked expectantly. “Nothing. “I'm going to pack one myself.” My roommate grabbed a big chunk of salvia and put it in his pipe. Meanwhile, I packed one for myself.

The Journey

“Here. Let me show you how to do it.” I took a rip and coughed. I took a rip and I inhaled correctly. “fuk. I messed it up!” I was already feeling the effects, but still had the balance and focus to pack myself another bowl. I felt a little uncoordinated and got ready to take a big deep breath. I lit my blow torch and ignited the salvia. Too big of a breath. The salvia was sucked into the bottom of the carb before it fully burned. “Great.” I thought sarcastically. “I will pack myself…” – I looked at the wall and fell into a deep gaze. Something felt very off. I felt strange vibrations all over my body.

I gazed at the wall. A visual description of how my wall normally looks: It is a standard dry wall with a crème color (very light yellow). On the x-axis, the kitchen was at the right, the door way was in the middle, and to the left was a lamp and a wide screen TV. On the y axis was a hardwood floor at the bottom and the ceiling at the top. In the z-direction was the wall at one end, and the couch I was sitting on at the other end. Between me and the wall was about 15 feet with a table 2 feet away from the couch.

I looked at something else and a faint ghost image of the wall carried over into whatever I was looking at. Within a matter of seconds, the ghost image grew stronger and stronger. I tried to look at other things, but all I could see was the image of my wall transposed onto everything. It was if the image of the wall was squished into 2D and was being wrapped around all the objects I looked at. This totally violated the laws of color and shape! The image of my wall was transposed onto the couch! Onto the coffee table! Onto my body! I had no idea what shapes I was looking at. I leaned back into my couch in overwhelmed amazement. Soon the image of the wall grew so strong that it was overriding all my sensations. The image of the wall was overriding everything I could see.

It got more intense. The last thing I remember before the trip really peaked was looking at what seemed to be my bong with a sense of trepidation and confusion. I remember thinking “what is going on?!?!”

The Peak

I looked back at my wall and saw a disturbingly odd image. On top of it was another image of the wall slightly tilted towards me. It felt so real. I felt as if I could grab either lamps in either realities of the wall. This is a bit difficult to communicate in writing, but imagine a hexagon. One side of a hexagon is followed by another side of a hexagon tilted slightly in the y and z direction. It was as if my living had transformed into a 3 dimensional hexagon. But it got worse.

Quickly, another image of the wall stacked on top of the second wall. My room looked like an octagon. Then, faster than the last time, another image of the wall stacked upon that one. My room was a decagon. Again, but with exponential speed, walls kept stacking on each other and my room kept increasing in dimensional complexity. By now, the number of walls were very difficult to keep track and I remembered feeling disoriented. Pretty soon, I could not tell the difference between up, down, left, right, etc. The walls kept adding faster and faster till it seemed like my living room was spinning. There was a swirl of color and rapid morphing of my walls into an infinite series of other walls.

I remember feeling thrown, propelled into the center of a whirlpool of colors and shapes coming from the original image of the wall. The images kaleidoscoped into a series of patterns of wall inside more patterns of walls inside more patterns. In the whirlpool, my body was spun in every direction at the same time. I felt like I was doing front flips, backflips, and cartwheels in both directions all at the same time.
Deep Introspection

At this point, I remember experiencing a hardcore ego-death. I did not know who I was, what I was, and what I was doing. I did not know my name, I did not know my age, I did not know my gender, I did not know my ethnicity, I did not know my job, I did not know my identity, I did not know I was human, and I did not even know I was alive. The only thing that was really left of me was my awareness. I remember thinking: “wow. I can’t believe I have done this to myself. Oh well. I deserve this. I hope my roommate discovers me and helps me.” Interestingly, I don’t think I used any words when forming that thought. Rather, I formulated the meaning of sentences. My mind was thinking without words – in pictures, concepts and meanings.

These led to obscure thoughts that I had not pondered since I was a kid. Thoughts about the strangeness and overwhelming power of cravings and attraction. Thoughts such as “isn’t it odd that we instantly know when to eat food by just looking at it?” and “why do we crave social connection and significance? I also contemplated how emotion and craving could dominate the identity of an object. To a robot, a burger would be objectively perceived, but humans instantly think of it as “food”. To a young child, sex would be grotesque and not enjoyable, but adults consider it as pleasure. These thoughts gave me insight on how our brains are controlled by involuntary instincts; insight on how instinct is different from thought. I also gained a reminder on how my perceptions of the world have changed since I was a child.

The Come Down

The swirling and spinning began to slow down until I finally saw my normal living room again. I was still tripping and I wondered how my roommate was doing. I feared the salvia trip had made him go insane. I had a vision of him becoming incredibly depressed and agitated. He picked up a knife, came up to me, screamed as loud as he could and then stabbed me in the stomach. I shuddered, but quickly dismissed the vision.

I laid on the couch and struggled to contemplate and reason everything that had just happened in my trip. Until now, nothing had really made sense. I saw my bong on the table. No picture of the wall transposed on it. Good. I sighed relief. I looked at my roommate and the first thing I asked was: “Did it work?” “No. I didn’t really feel anything.” “How long was I out?” He replied, “About three minutes. Are you okay?”

Reflection

I never found out why the salvia did not affect my roommate, but my trip was definitely more than I had anticipated. It let me to the epiphany that adults can get themselves stuck into specific thought patterns. As adults, we are very accustomed to the world and have set, rigid conclusions about life. Some conclusions we accept as truth without knowing it because we have been thinking about them for so long. Those conclusions in turn influence how we perceive the world and form newer conclusions. Salvia divinorum reminds us that those conclusions are beliefs and can easily be shattered. It reminds us that sometimes we accept certain beliefs to be true without fulling considering why.

Personally, I believe Salvia to be a humbling, eye-opening introspective catalyst. Taking time to deeply reflect on a trip can lead to some amazing insights. But also, salvia requires a good mind-set. Dismissing the vision of my roommate took a lot of willpower.

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 107346
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 23
Published: Oct 7, 2022	Views: 679
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Small Group (2-9) (17), First Times (2)