DOSE:	350 ug		LSD
	3 - 4 joints/cigs	smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

59 kg

I took about 350 micrograms of pure acid on December 2014 in a rave at Goa in India. I tripped hard and had a great time, but nothing fancy. It wasn't qualitatively any different from the dozens of other acid trips I'd had. Well after the trip had worn itself out, I went back to the resort cottage where I was living with a bunch of my friends for the week we had come there to 'party'.

I smoked a few joints, had some food and decided to go to bed. I thought I had lied down on my bed and slept. When I was awakened by a strange sensation/pain at the base of my genitals, I thought I would change my positions sleeping and tried to turn over. It suddenly hit me that I never was lying on the bed to begin with, but was sitting erect on the bed the whole time. I tried with all my might to open my eyes but couldn't. I couldn't move any part of my body either, so I thought fuck it and just sat. In a few minutes though I got back to normal and slept thinking nothing of it. Well...as seemingly uneventful as this appears, this is what I think was the 'trigger'.

Fast forward to mid March, and shit really hits the fucking roof when I take a bus to go to my hometown, Mysore, for the weekend. I am sitting on my seat, slightly blazed, gazing out through the window of the moving bus. It's a night journey so all the lights are turned off inside the bus. After maybe 2 hours on the road, I feel very funny, like I feel as I come up a psychedelic. As I begin to consider that maybe the pot I smoked earlier was spiked with opium or some shit...there is a sudden escalation of temperature all around me. It took a while for me to realize that this heat was concentrated on or perhaps emerging from the bottom of my genitals. I was not sweating at all, but it felt like I was sweltering in mid afternoon in the middle of a fucking desert.

This continued throughout the journey and I came to several conclusions about my 'condition', none which consisted of the word kundalini.

In the state that I was then, I decided (wisely so) that it was not a great idea to head to my parents' place, so I went to a friend's apartment and hit the bed explaining to him that I was running a high temperature.

The heat increased progressively throughout the day, but the friend wasn't able to feel that much heat on my body as (he thought) I exaggerated it to be. I took a cold shower for more than an hour and went to bed again. As I slowly slipped away into sleep, I hear a loud ass sound in my head...like a gong of a bell that startles and awakens me.

What happened next....I only wish I could be articulate enough to explain it. The point of concentration of the heat I'd been experiencing at the bottom of my penis forced itself upwards, expanding the locus of concentration as it did, to reach the top of my skull and stretched itself beyond limits, breaking into pieces something in me or something I'd been holding onto for my entire life without me even knowing it. Kind of like when you stretch a rubber band and finally tear it apart. It was extremely relieving, this breaking apart of this thing, not a 'thing' really as it is more like a feeling of being relieved when you choke yourself and then release your grip, or when you really want to take a dump and run like hell to the toilet and drop your load...only it was infinitely more relieving.

As I was contemplating this, I thought I saw a tiny spot of bright light on the periphery of my view. I looked to my left, through the window, into the sky where I saw it and it was gone. As I diverted my attention I saw it on the sky to my left again, and it disappeared as I looked at it again. This continued for a while before I stopped paying attention to the light and just kept looking at it from the corner of my eyes.

I saw it become larger and larger in proportions until there was nothing but a really bright light in my view. And my body felt really cooled down as I suddenly lost track of the idea of me, like it just slipped out of my consciousness . As much as I would search for what I thought was 'me', I wouldn't find it...this is a great feeling...the word benediction seems apt to describe it.

This has been continuing for 7 months now. Sometimes I would feel like I am boiling in hell and get anxiety-ridden, having really dark thoughts in my head when I would feel extreme pain at my neck, genitals or head, which I have come to learn as an indication of something I am doing wrong, like if I am not eating the right food or staying in a wrong kind of place or being in contact with undesirable people, etc. Once I figure out what I am doing wrong, I feel really cool, but the coolness originates from...nowhere or somewhere that's spread out throughout the entire world...like this cool pleasantness I feel isn't even remotely exclusive to me...it's not something I feel at all but is just something that's strewn all over the place....this creates a very pleasant euphoria, so much that I forget completely about myself and have to constantly remind myself about basic things like...'its been a whole day since I ate anything, I should get some food' or 'wash yourself, its been a week since you last showered'...it is during times like this, when I feel the cool, that I can easily, with no volition on my part, read other people's motives and sometimes surprise them by saying things they were thinking...especially when around people smoking pot, I become too vulnerable for them to get in touch with my state and most of the time they get ridiculously euphoric and act really funny just by hanging out with me...

But there are many things this awakening has not done to me that is generally expected would happen...like I certainly don't feel like I have grasped the Ultimate reality or become saint-like...nor am I always peaceful, it's either a cool consciousness expanding pleasantness or a hot extremely painful paranoia, there's no middle ...so I don't think I am in control of myself anymore than I was before...only more aware now of the morbid as I am of the beatific...

So how do I know I am not imagining all this like many people I know have suspected? Well...for starters my body goes into strange positions when it really cools downs and I need to google them up only to find that what happened to me was a specific mudra like khechari, mulabandha, etc. Without me having even a vague idea about any of that, or ever having considered to attempt the various yogic techniques previously in my life.

Or the fact that multiple times a day I lose any sense of who or what the fuck I am or what the world is and just stare at things around, in complete awe, while time just slips by...I would think it was a couple of minutes that this strange process was going on but in clock time it would be 3 to 4 hours.

Or perhaps that I feel a pulsating electric energy from the base of my genitals to the top of my head and beyond almost throughout the day...

Honestly though, I had no knowledge of these spiritual concepts at all prior to stumbling upon this. All I know now about these things are a result of me googling up what's happening to me and finding out that certain mystical literature has an exact description of what I am going through...

So when I say 'fully' awakened, I only mean that my kundalini has for a while been an active force operating in me and that it broke through the sahasrara chakra, apparently the last, most consciousness expanding point in the body...

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 107360
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Nov 13, 2024	Views: 29
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LSD (2), Endogenous (86) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Various (28)