Citation: zz__. "Waves of Euphoria: An Experience with AL-LAD & LSD (exp107671)". Erowid.org. Jan 7, 2016. erowid.org/exp/107671
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I am moderately experienced with LSD, and before this had tried AL-LAD twice (150 and 75 µg).
At 150 µg, AL-LAD felt quite clear-headed and nicely euphoric, but missing the sense of 'oneness' that a decent LSD dose provides. I decided on a single 150 µg tab of AL-LAD with two-thirds of a strong LSD blotter purchased online almost 2 years ago. It was advertised at 250 µg but was probably more like 150, so what I took was maybe around 100 µg. But who really knows?
The setting: I had the flat to myself for a few days, and since I prefer tripping alone, this was the best I could get. I sadly have no access to the great outdoors (but then again, it's winter). So at 11:45 PM, I jammed both blotters in my cheeks and prepared for what was to come.
I started feeling the first effects within 25 minutes.
I started feeling the first effects within 25 minutes.
It started with noticeable mucus buildup. I put on some classic dub techno and sat on the couch as the drugs started to take effect.
Normally on a strong dose of LSD, the come-up can be a bit disconcerting — I may fear for my sanity and have to remind myself to relax. What happened here was different though: there was an 'observer' (to borrow from Ann Shulgin) part of myself noticing how it felt like I was losing my mind. I attribute this to the AL-LAD: as though it was keeping part of my ego intact while the LSD slowly dissolved the rest. This peculiar duality of effects was noticeable throughout the whole trip. Physically I did feel a bit awkward, not quite knowing what to do with myself as I got more and more restless. I started thinking about my relationship with the people I live with (how entangled our lives had become, my stuff being spread about the apartment like an extension of myself), and as I caught myself pacing about my room and over-thinking, I decided to calm down on the couch again.
As my field of vision got more and more 'melty', now with patterns flowing and ebbing in the grain of the wood floor and furniture, I felt I might be in for quite a ride. I didn't try to keep track of time too much, but soon enough I found myself stretching my arms in the doorframe of my bedroom and breathing deeply as I got more and more overwhelmed, reminding myself that I'd taken a drug.
I tried lying down on my bed for a bit, and that's when I had the first of a series of peaks. LSD users are probably familiar with 'pulling' tension in the neck and back when the drug hits the strongest. I felt it quite intensely, but it was more pleasant than usual, and nowhere near as concerning as it has been in the past (with a full LSD tab from the same batch, for example).
As I lay there, I closed my eyes to see bright lights and spiraling patterns. Then I heard remarkable sonic distortions - something not unlike Shepard tones, but with crazy, irregular fluctuations in rhythm (as if someone was messing with the LFO on an analog synthesizer). It should be noted that I suffer from tinnitus, so it might have something to do with it. I wondered if these sounds were distinct from my tinnitus, but couldn't tell them apart. The tension in the back of my head got quite intense and I felt almost as I'd had a mini-seizure (for the lack of a better word). For a moment I thought I'd blacked out, and I remember telling myself 'what the hell was THAT?' as I got up from my bed.
Then it hit me - I was now full-on tripping. I decided to play some demos a friend had just sent me. I found it so good I couldn't help but play one particular track over and over, in absolute awe of it. I sent him an email about how a particular sound kept making me laugh (days later I explained to him that I was tripping).
I then had echos of a previous trip from 2 years ago that had been very intense (I had flat-out forgotten that I was on a drug): something in me kept repeating 'I just had an LSD' (as if it's an event that 'happens' to you) and 'this is why people take LSD': that indescribable sensation of oneness, of time-and-spacelessness. Only this time I was going back and forth between that kind of confusion and a somewhat more functional state of mind, which again I attribute to the AL-LAD.
I spontaneously started stretching (as happens almost every time I take LSD), then found myself in that familiar acid headspace, welcoming me back. I felt relieved: this time there were no sinister undertones at all, and no sense that I might lose control, as I still had that observer around, even when things got pretty intense with that 'sensation there are no words for' (I guess the best phrase for that would be 'ego-dissolving'?). Over the course of the trip I felt up to 4 or 5 long waves of exquisitely intense euphoria, unlike anything I've ever felt — as if my body was pure energy. Whenever the peak receded, I tried to think about what to call it — seizure? Peak? Full-body orgasm? Absolutely beautiful. I kept telling myself 'don't try to put words on it' and 'enjoy it while it lasts'. I remembered the title of the Capra film, 'You can't take it with you', which I think applies quite well to the psychedelic experience (although completely unrelated to the actual film). I thought to myself how the psychedelic mindset always feels like a switch has been flicked on. When sober, it's nearly impossible to recall just how one feels while tripping, and it's always a pleasure to revisit that realm.
At one point I found myself crouching in my room, nodding along to some music, only to realize there was none playing from my speakers — it was a (real) piece playing in head. I laughed hard at this. I wondered if I was functional enough to try making music myself and turned on various synths. But then I couldn't be bothered. I was enjoying the trip and the silence so much (in a Cageian way perhaps?) that I was completely indifferent to having music playing or not at that point. I had some thoughts about how music is so much about throwing one's ego out there, and felt it was more appropriate to contemplate silence for a while.
After enjoying a few more 'moments of eternity', I found a memento a dear friend had just given me a few days prior, deep in my jean pocket. As I took it out, I immediately thought of her and was filled with an immense joy. That little object was just full of her love. I laughed heartily, kneeled and kissed it. It was as though the memento and my friend were one and the same — she was there with me in my hand. I briefly tried writing to her but couldn't find words — and my observer rightly advised me against doing that while tripping (although she is fully aware and supportive of those experiments of mine). Needless to say it was a profoundly beautiful moment.
As I delighted in a few more of the peaks, I finally decided to play some music, which sounded absolutely amazing. In fact, I don't recall music ever sounding this exciting on either LSD or AL-LAD alone. I played a particular piece repeatedly, then sent a quick note of appreciation to its creator. I also reflected on my inferiority complex toward other musicians, and the need to rid myself of all jealousy and simply get out there (in contradiction with my earlier thoughts!).
Visually, things never got too intense, which was a bit of a surprise. Maybe I just didn't focus enough on that aspect. I had flashes of faces forming patterns in the wood floor, but not much more. Some were sinister-looking, but I was able to laugh them off. Catching glimpse of one the cats drinking water, I briefly saw a pattern of demonic faces stretching accross the floor from where the cat was, which I thought was absolutely hilarious (and a great Photoshop idea). When I finally looked at myself in the mirror, I was astounded to see myself looking perfectly normal - pupils not even dilated.
I eventually started coming down, and this is where I became more introspective, questioning my interactions with others, my place among my peers and my friends. Reflecting on a past relationship and seeing where I was still needlessly negative about my former partner (who is still a dear friend). I caught myself thinking negatively about her and resolved to stop judging others for what I perceive to be faults but are in fact my own lack of empathy.
Now we get to the bad part: the comedown was simply interminable.
the comedown was simply interminable.
At first I was seeing strobe-like flashes in my field of vision as I closed my eyes. Melatonin proved useless. I was simply restless for hours in bed, turning to my phone to spew silly non-sequiturs on social media. I also noticed I was getting quite a headache. It wasn't until 2 or maybe 3 PM that I was finally able to sleep, after taking some Ibuprofen. I did not sleep long then, but that evening I went to bed before 10 PM and had vivid dreams. The next day I found myself in a rather foul mood, which persisted for quite a while. I napped a number of times and didn't accomplish much. For the remainder of the week I slept much more than usual.
Would I try this again? Probably, but not soon. I think I may not try AL-LAD on its own now that I've felt how LSD can complement it so nicely. Overall, it was a positive and supremely euphoric experience. I don't remember laughing so much on a psychedelic since my first mushroom trips as a teenager (nowadays mushrooms feel mostly dark and anxiogenic). The main drawback remains the inability to sleep, as I object to the use of benzodiazepines and other sleep aids. I doubt I'd recommend this combo to anyone other than a seasoned LSD user, and I would hesitate to try this in a public setting, although it was nowhere near as disorienting as a strong LSD trip can be. As with all intense psychedelic trips, full integration might take a while. This might prove tricky, since part of me still felt 'sober', taking in the euphoria only for it what it was. There was clearly more depth compared to what AL-LAD alone can provide, but I feel a higher ratio of LSD might be preferable (although there is a higher risk of losing it!)
Post-scriptum about the bodyload:
This combo is not without its share of physical side-effects. The only word I could find to describe my body as I was tripping was 'blurry'. There was some gastric weirdness (I certainly passed a lot of gas after the last of the intense peaks), but no pain — and I've experienced excruciating gut pain on LSD before. My gums and teeth felt uncomfortable at times. And the aforementioned headache was quite unpleasant.
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