Citation: BW. "Whiteout: An Experience with 5-MeO-DMT (exp107801)". Erowid.org. Jan 21, 2016. erowid.org/exp/107801
||(powder / crystals)
My experience with 5-MeO-DMT was early in my psychonautic efforts. I knew about the concept of molar equivalents from psilocybin and psilocin, so I assumed that 5-MeO-DMT and DMT had similar dosages. As I only had perhaps 25 mg, or indeed about the size of 3–5 paper match heads, I stupidly did not weigh it! I assumed, based on DMT doses, that any effects would be subtle. Man, was I surprised!
I recall two coherent thoughts before the universe filled my mind: 'Now you've done it!' and 'This is IT!'
After a few seconds, I experienced a merging into some kind of White Light. As white light is the sum of all colors, it felt like this White Light was the sum of experiences currently being felt by all entities in the universe: a merging into the All One Being, shortly followed by the loss of all knowledge of separation between my 'self' and everything else.
Though others have described their overwhelmingly powerful 5-MeO-DMT experiences as 'Clear White Light', I would not describe this particular White Light as 'Clear'; it was more like snow or a white dust storm, with limited visibility, and intensity instead of clarity.
The experience of high-dose 5-MeO-DMT is so intense and brief, it can be hard to bring much back; kind of like touring Paris strapped to the belly of an F-15. However, even a few seconds of the feeling of being completely merged with the source of the universe can be very impressive, and can permanently change one's theology and understanding of the cosmos.
After this experience, I had a weird week. Years later, I sometimes joked that I 'broke my brain', as I wasn't able to work or come to terms with my daily routines for more than a week afterwards. It is difficult to describe. I could only explain it by saying the bricks of my psyche were still in the correct places, but the mortar had entirely disappeared, the whole structure moving more fluidly, held together only by inertia and magic.
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