DOSE:	5 mg	oral	Pharms - Aripiprazole	(daily)
	20 mg	oral	Pharms - Paroxetine	(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

200 lb

I am a 35 year old bipolar woman. I am medicated and stable, although lean to the depressive side no matter what mix on meds I'm on. I was excited to try mushrooms after not having done them in six years of rigorous mental health treatment. By treatment, I mean hospitals, psychiatrists, therapists, exercise programs, the works. I have I am far more sad about this than proud) been on just about every psychiatric drug. I spent my 20’s in and out of treatment facilities. I’ve always been a good patient, and taken whatever they thought was best. I really believed in big pharma. I love science, research, and I always believed there would be some magic pill that cured me. Nope. Nothing close.

I take the mentioned dose of abilify once a day, at the same time as the paxil. I’ve taken it for ages, so I’m sure there is plenty soaking my brain and blood. Anyway, I got 15 grams at the time. It was a spring day, sunshine, feeling average. The flat I’m at in the city has no windows really. The doors are windows, but you can’t see much for weather outside of them. So, it’s not really an ideal environment to take mind altering substances from what I’ve been told, in a dark cave. I am though, very used to cell like rooms, and I am overwhelmed whenever I hear someone speak about how they trip and go into nature. I never think I can handle that. Anyway, I ate them, had some water (oh my goodness, the taste is so foul) and began the wait. Sitting in the cell, nothing really to enhance the experience at this point, just reading and listening to some mellow Solomon Burke. I was convinced with all the meds I had been on, and in all those years, there couldn’t be much of an effect.

Surprise! Pleasant surprise from God or Gods or none, whichever you prefer. I can’t help but find it divine when I began to feel a sense of relaxation and a lift of mood I never can achieve with big pharma drugs. I just cannot reach this level of peace without them. MDMA or exercise comes close, but that’s another world and another story.

A combination of calm and happy are two feelings I am detached from daily. I pushed my boundaries, and sanely. I went to the park for a walk, and I would never usually go outside on my own. Yes, I have issues.

I understand only occasional use with mushrooms can be effective. There is a wave exhaustion during the last hour, but it’s the most gentle come down I’ve ever experienced. I am writing to report information I was never encouraged or introduced to in clinics, hospitals, or with any psychiatrist or therapist. My mood was genuinely elevated and I was more comfortable in my own skin. It is no cure, but it was so different and effective to what’s on the legal market in the United States. I felt glowing and hopeful for an extra day as well. No side effects to report apart from eyes that looked embarrassing.

I am anxious to read about how this and MDMA could help people like me with mental health disorders. I have been told for years that my pharma pills couldn’t cure, but could help with symptoms. However, I would feel drugged and unclear whenever a dose increased. Now, I genuinely feel helped, and it’s a mushroom?!

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 107804
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 34
Published: Jan 29, 2020	Views: 977
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Mushrooms (39) : Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Depression (15), Medical Use (47), Combinations (3), Alone (16)