The Wonders and Evils of Kayaking
Citation:   Mx Dg Ld. "The Wonders and Evils of Kayaking: An Experience with Ketamine (exp10812)". Apr 23, 2007.

  insufflated Ketamine (daily)

During my first experience with K, I felt very strange, feeling blocked out from my mind and body, as if I was disconnected. After that, I spent the next month or so taking K during the weekends, enjoying the experience, but not being dependent on it.

After that month and a half, a friend and I decided to go on a binge night at my house, buying ten bags from a friend. Each bag where we live contains about 0.1-0.2 grams, depending on the dealer. The prices of the bags I will not mention, for my paranoid state of mind fears that it might lead to discovery of who I am and/or where I currently am.

This binge night, I experienced my very first 'K-hole'. That night we had large bags, but being stupid, and not knowing my limits, I decided to snort an entire bag, which was about 0.2 grams.

I remember thinking right after, 'shit, this was too much, I have to run to the bathroom and back before this hits'. So I went to the bathroom, did my business, and the last thing I remember was making it back to my room and closing my door. After that, memory in the physical world stops, and my memory of the experience begins.

I felt that I was being pulled away in different directions, and become one with a white light, and saw many strange things along the way. During this 'dream' state, I felt as if I was one with everything, and that I had entered a safe, warm place.

It has now been about 6 months since that day, and I've been trying to recreate that experience, but I never have. My tolerance has slowly been building up, where it is now to the point that doing three bags (0.6g) will not induce a K-hole. It induces the physical anaesthetic, and the mental state of being useless and sitting in one place and enjoying it. Any larger single-line dose and it is wasted, for my recollection of the experience becomes faded.

I have had a few different experiences though during this time, and when listening to soft music, such as a song like Pachelbel's Cannon, positive thoughts enter my mind, as well as a feeling of spiritual and emotional peace.

But now, I have developed a deep dependency on K, and these days take it because without a dosage the world feels very tiring, boring and lonely, and I only seem to feel normal again when I have snorted a line or two.

Strangely enough I am doing fairly well at school, being a straight B student, but socially I am starting to have problems, because more and more of my friends are becoming worried about me, since I am almost always in a catatonic state.

Personally I take 4-5 doses a day, usually in the 0.2 mg per dose stage, so that I may produce the catatonic state, which these days is the only state I feel comfortable to be in.

While other people may differ, I never re-created that first K-hole again, and that feeling of being in a safe place is gone, replaced by a simple feeling of normality, something which has scared many of my friends, and causes great worry to those close to me.

I rarely use any other drug, including alcohol, since I've started using K, and whenever the supplies are cut I have great problems and turn to other drugs just to 'bide the time' until a new supply comes in.

In a new concentrated effort, I have been clean for the past 10 days now, except for smoking one joint, and looking back, I'm not really sure losing 6 months of my life sitting down and always being fucked up was worth it, but what I can be sure of is, I will never escape the memory of using the drug.

With its positive and negative effects, I will still say this is the best drug I have ever used, but the thought lingers in the back of my head that I could have done something more useful with 6 months instead of being a binge user.

I'm 16 years old, and what I fear most is that when I'm 26 I'll still be doing the same thing.

It's a fear that's not worth it.

Exp Year: 2001ExpID: 10812
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Apr 23, 2007Views: 17,265
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Ketamine (31) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports copyright Erowid.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.

Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults