There Is Nothing To Be Afraid Of
Huasca Combo (B. caapi Extract & DMT Fumarate)
Citation:   InnerExplorer. "There Is Nothing To Be Afraid Of: An Experience with Huasca Combo (B. caapi Extract & DMT Fumarate) (exp108203)". Oct 15, 2017.

T+ 0:00
  oral Banisteriopsis caapi (extract)
  T+ 0:20 50 mg oral DMT  
I have had several experiences with Caapi extract (180 mg harmine and 180 mg tetrahydroharmine) as well as with vine-only brews, but I have taken a pretty long break from both and have lately felt that this is the best medicine for me to work with. My first two experiences as of late were with Caapi extract alone. I felt the presence of Spirit very strongly, coming to me almost in the way that a mother would be, with calm guidance and lessons to digest. The experiences were very dream-like, as in dream sequences that presented a series of lessons regarding the way I was processing my emotions and my daily behavior patterns. It was all apparent and laid out for me to see.

After a few successful and very rewarding sessions with the Caapi extract, I thought it would be good to add in some DMT. It just so happens that I had been planning on converting a gram of DMT freebase to DMT Fumarate, which is the ideal form of DMT for oral as well as IV/IM administration. At first, I was drawn to the idea of IM administration but I realized that I would need to spend a good deal of time preparing the proper safety precautions in order to minimize error or accidental injury. As such, the best route seemed to be oral in combination with the Caapi extract.

Experiment #1:

I recently experienced Caapi extract with 21mg DMT Fumarate (.32mg/kg) which is a very very small dose, barely threshold. I did this purposely in order to ease my way into working with this powerful combination again. The comeup on the Caapi extract was powerful as usual and I delayed taking the DMT an extra 20 minutes, taking it at t+0:40 instead of t+0:20. I don't think that would have reduced the efficacy of the DMT at all, but rather it was the very low dose of DMT that led to very little effects. It was interesting that once I felt the DMT come on I felt very very tired and almost felt like I slept through the whole experience, though the two purges that I had were very emotionally based and were centered around purging negative thought patterns I have kept inside.

In my next experiment, I plan on increasing the dose to 35mg DMT (.54mg/kg) in combination with the Caapi extract. I think this will be a bit more of a trip and will give me a better sense of my flight navigation skills. I am deliberately taking my time with this to get to know these medicines
I am deliberately taking my time with this to get to know these medicines
as they work together and how best to navigate the spaces they open up. This is how the shamans came to understand their work with the plants. Gradual increases in doses and getting to know the spirits of these medicines.

Experiment #2:
After careful research and reflection, I prepared to take my next journey with the Caapi extract (which contains 180mg tetrahydroharmine and 180mg harmine) in combination with 50mg DMT Fumarate (.781mg/kg). In preparation for this journey, I abstained from any other psychedelic medicines for two weeks, restricted intake of aged cheeses, no red meat or pork 3-4 days prior, lots of good vegetarian nutrition in the week leading up to it. I also did several body scans throughout the week, checking in with the various parts of my body and seeing what was there. I reflected on my intentions for the journey, and this is what I wrote down three days before the experience:

-Something that is very present for me right now is...
Eliminating self-doubt, finding when it's okay to use recreationally, how to use recreationally while not neglecting my health.
-I have concerns about...
Finding out things about myself I don't know/don't want to know.
-I am curious about...
What I might learn from this experience
-I am inspired now to create...
A rooted, grounded sense of self that is at peace.
-I am inspired to let go of...
Negative thought patterns, dependency on others for emotional well-being, unhealthy desire (lust), self-doubt.
-In this moment I deeply desire and long for...
A mentor to guide my growth process in medicine work, a female partner in love that will complement my life.

My Intention: Thank you for giving me this opportunity to reflect on my whole being. Thank you for the opportunity to engage in this sacred space and release what no longer serves me. I wish to learn and experience this life fully with Love for myself and for the benefit of all beings.

Upon making sure all that I could foresee was prepared, being done with all my responsibilities during the day, I was ready to begin the journey. I had eaten only once that day, at 10 AM. It was 3 PM when I began the dosing process. I poured the Caapi extract into a glass of grapefruit juice and allowed it to absorb into the juice, the process took about 3 minutes, and with the help of a stirring spoon, the powder was completely absorbed by the juice, forming citrate salts of the freebase alkaloids for more efficient absorption in the body. I read over my intentions again, reflected on them, asked the spirits of the four directions for protection on this journey, lit some incense, and drank the extract-containing juice. After drinking, I set a timer for 20 minutes on my watch so I would know when to take the capsule containing the DMT Fumarate.

I turned on the Johns Hopkins Psilocybin Studies Playlist and laid down in my bed. I was experiencing strong energetic vibrations in my body, beginning in my chest and radiating out into my extremities, like big involuntary shudders running throughout my body. I could sense that I was nervous. Breathing deeply into my center and directing my attention and breath towards the origins of these tremors allowed them to gently subside and restore me to peace. The music was lovely and allowed me to relax as the medicine began to fill each cell in my body.

Eventually, the timer went off and I promptly took the capsule containing 50mg DMT Fumarate. Within 15 minutes, I was feeling the first alerts. A slight lethargy and softening of emotions. A slowing down. Simultaneously, I felt like I was being gradually filled with light and bliss. This feeling continued to build into a climax over the next 30 minutes or so, culminating in an encounter with what I can only describe as God. There was a clear white light that seemed to descend directly into my head and it seemed like it had always been there, but I had not been aware. I felt a hand on my shoulder, holding me. And in that space of deepest bliss and peace, I heard a voice in my mind. It was not recognizable by myself as my own. It said 'I just want you to know that you have nothing to be afraid of.'

Upon grokking this, I burst into tears. A floodgate had been opened, releasing me from the slavery of fear that had dominated so many aspects of my life. I saw rapid-fire flashes of my greatest fears being dismissed one by one with that one phrase: There is nothing to be afraid of. I felt so supported, so loved, a part of a grand design where, in the end, It's All Good. No matter what. This process culminated in a full purge, during which I could see my fears swirling in the bucket as I graciously let them go. After this I was filled with a sense of eternal peace and calm. Here I was, having a moment with God. Sitting side by side, admiring this incredible scenario It/I/We had created. It was at this point I was able to write down some notes in my notebook:

There is nothing to be afraid of.

Take your time, slow down so you can truly feel each emotion. Sit with each one, savor.

Be gentle.
Be Kind.
Give Thanks.

When you are doing well, you may simply sit and enjoy your time with God.

I have been given exactly what I need.

After the above entry in my journal, I almost felt like the journey was complete. I had met God, after all and been given the highest bliss I have experienced in a long time. Perhaps the 'REALEST' bliss I have ever experienced. I felt all the positive feedback about how I had been living my life, building me up and allowing me to, with each breath, deeply feel the goodness in my life and the pride that my relations had for me.

But then, in the throes of my confidence, I thought 'well, it would be interesting to see what else you can do.' And that's when the distortions began and I began my descent into what I might call the Chapel of Mirrors, the Funhouse, or The Party/Gathering. It began with an image of me as an older man, my hand on a younger boy's shoulder, standing outside a doorway. 'I' leaned close to him and said 'No matter what happens in there, just remember you have nothing to be afraid of.' And we walked in the doors and entered this incredibly elaborate party, with all sorts of beings, entities, whatever you may wish to call them. In retrospect, this scenario was actually me talking to myself, or God, the protector entity preparing me for the challenges I might face. This is where time gets lost and events are choppy.

I began finding myself in spaces where time did not exist, moments were eternities echoing forever, filled with the autonomically executing programs of my subconscious mind. After paying attention to a few of these eternities, I began to grok what was happening and I began to engage a bit. I started to 'prune' some of these programs to eliminate things like elaborate conspiracy theories, egoic competitions of self-vs-ego (grandiose labyrinths that I was told I had to navigate in order to 'get through') of which the only way out was to simply let go and repeatedly turn my attention back to the clear white light.

After the repeated attempts of the ego to get my attention, it let go and I began to focus my attention towards the clear white light of Original Consciousness.

It was an ebb and flow between staying relaxed and focused and being pulled into thought loops that seemed to go on forever. As the trip wore on, I found myself feeling very tired and exhausted. There was so much information being given to me, so much to process and think about. At about 2.5 hours in, I felt that I was in a headspace similar to the peak of a vaporized DMT experience, only this felt more manageable and less chaotic or frantic.
At about 2.5 hours in, I felt that I was in a headspace similar to the peak of a vaporized DMT experience, only this felt more manageable and less chaotic or frantic.
My bodily and mental state were both very much tired due to the lack of nutrition and I realized how silly it was to have fasted so long before dosing and to have eaten a small breakfast. I also was repeatedly made aware that my mouth was dirty because I had not brushed my teeth. I was also really thirsty and did not have water nearby. I doubted I was capable of getting myself water, eat much of anything, nor brush my teeth in that state of mind, so I had to ride it out. During this time of exhaustion, I was brought to face a spirit which was embodied in the form of the grim reaper. My contemplation of death during this time was perhaps the most realistic, peaceful, and comprehensive that I've ever had. I saw death as an opportunity to rest as well as an opportunity to take advantage of this time that I have in this body in this moment. For all these reasons I should be living the way I want to live, not the way others might want me to. I was able to understand those who take their own lives, why they might do so. To have control over the inevitable, to meet the unknown head-on, and to be free of the burden life can sometimes become.

After the three hour mark, things began settling down a bit even though I was still considerably altered. The tracers were in full effect and my trains of thought were cosmic in nature. A great sense of peace and calm filled me. During this phase, I was guided through imagery showing me my faults and invitations to accept them. I could see how I might be a difficult person to love or the things about me that are yet to be resolved or worked on.

It was a gradual float down to baseline from there, and by the time I got to baseline, I was quite glad to be down. I think that from time of ingestion to baseline about 8 hours had elapsed. Although it is more time consuming and although there were some moments where I wished the experience were shorter, I prefer the oral route with DMT. It is much easier to ease ones way into it rather than being catapulted into the information-laden space with little ability to point the astral ship so-to-speak.

I have found that the days following this experience, I was left with a deep sense of inner peace, having discovered a new pathway of thinking, one that is free of fear and is curious about whatever trails I choose to walk down. I find this to be total freedom and liberation of action and of thought. The next level of liberation is that of nonattachment and compassionate observation.

Love and Blessings.

Exp Year: 2016ExpID: 108203
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 25
Published: Oct 15, 2017Views: 3,909
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DMT (18), Banisteriopsis caapi (169), Huasca Combo (269) : Alone (16), Personal Preparation (45), Entities / Beings (37), Mystical Experiences (9), Combinations (3)

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