DOSE:			Amphetamines	(daily)
			MDMA
	30-40 mg	insufflated	2C-B

BODY WEIGHT:

78 kg

I take meth everyday but a very low dose and I had had MDMA prior and had been rolling when the club closed at around 3am.

I had prepacked the 2C-B, I had snorted it the night before and apart from a heavy body load I did not get much from it so I suppose I was quite liberal with the dose.

After leaving the club, I went to a public toilet and stuck a straw into the capsule containing it expecting I would probably snort up 1/4, wrong, the whole lot went. I accidentally snorted way more 2C-B than I intended, though it would be like coke and not so easily go up my nose from where it was being stored in a capsule.

I instantly got intense pain in the nose and also the back of the neck shooting up through my brain. I knew instantly I had way too much, I started walking and within 1 minute I had to sit down. I focused really hard to make it to a seat and only just made it before the world as I knew it was extinguished.

This is where my very being kept dissolving on itself over and over again. Every memory of my life that I thought I had turned out to be not a real memory. So I thought of my parents and in that moment all the memories would dissolve and I could see that it was not a memory, they never existed and it was just a generic feeling over thousands of years. Absolutely terrifying - I was on my own & was in a continuous loop of my identity going through real pain and also dissolving. Sometimes when I felt pain (in my nose) I was happy because it was the one thing that made me realise I may still be alive. I ended up being just energy and mixed together with energy from a nuclear bomb.

As I came back and could actually see a reality again, I kept trying to work out if I was dead or not. I kept calling out (may have been in my head) Mum and Dad, that is all that matters, that is the only thing that has ever mattered, I kept saying how sorry I was and how stupid I was for killing myself. I then woke up walking & crying, saying I really hope I have not hurt anyone, I kept saying that because I thought I saw police everywhere looking for me. I accepted that I likely killed a bunch of people while I was out of it at the very least at the worst this thin veil of reality would be again ripped away from me. I am still suffering the effects at the moment, I remember being soaking wet which must have been sweat from the ordeal. It was the worst experience of my life, worse than actual real tragedies that have happened.

I do not know if 2C-b can cause injury but with what I went through I am pretty surprised to be able to sit here and type - my life has changed forever after experiencing that & many things I do not even remember came flooding back in a bunch of colours and catch phrases as if I knew exactly and intimately what they meant. I saw these things from the perspective of a child, I kept saying or hearing 'we all knew what was going on down there, but nobody did anything'. And nonsensical stuff like 'we always knew what the snickets were for, we knew'. It was like I knew all the emotion from that phrase and yet I swear I have no fucking clue or memory of that. I do not know if it was something in my past that I forgot but now remember or something made up.

I think I have become a little too slack with the hell drugs can put you through if you do something stupid like I did and take way too much. I estimate I took maybe 30mg snorted but maybe more. Very stupid thing to do, I had read about the dosing issue with 2CB and how little it needs to vary to go from zero to max and had a she will be right attitude.

There was one part where I though I was programmed into a kids electronic toy where my entity was trapped in there for eternity. I remember being angry at how they could make a thing that would cause me to go through this forever. The scariest part is it all made so much sense, I remember looking down at my arm & it must have been me actually seeing my arm but also the insanity behind it all. My experiences, things from deep in my subconscious that I must at some level believe makes me me flashed in front of me over a period of a couple thousand years. I do not even remember what they were, I think there was a scar from when I was a kid, a calipo ice block & a whole bunch of other things that made absolute sense - as in more sense than I have ever felt before. Just as I was starting to get hold that I might actually be a person again, I would dissolve into a million little pixels and become another version of myself.

I was throwing up the whole time or must have been through my mouth and nose. Only it was florescent green like the glow stick colour and it landed on my shoes and legs. My legs and arms had the look of the surface when I begin a DMT trip all spiralling and odd. My shoes were always a green head with fluro pink buddy holly glasses. The exact image is Jim Carey from the mask combined with a fluro buddy holly, each shoe was a face. When I threw up, they laughed at me and they dissolved a little bit. I sometimes morphed into versions of me that held everything that disgusts me about people, fat lazy slobs that do not shower and are really horrible people. When I realised that was who I was and what I was surrounded by, I threw up in disgust again and then morphed into another entity. The final part was me becoming a ball of energy fighting another ball of energy, no world, no people, just a ball of light.

When I came out of it, I realised that it was highly likely that I was dead, I apologised to my parents for doing this (they already lost one son when he was 17) and I felt so selfish for putting them through misery when their life is so good at the moment. I am not much of one to cry but I cried for a very long time. I kept saying sorry to people like my ex wife etc etc. I actually became conscious while I was walking and pretty happy I did not hurt myself although I think I lost my vaporizer.

The end just before coming out of it while I was still sitting, it became ultra still and the clarity was amazing (Just like DMT) I had red and green tracers whizzing all over the place and felt a really strong urge to be near anyone just to prove I was still alive. I was not sure if I was still alive or if I was going to be ripped back into the other place for at least an hour later. I was sat on a bench and a cop car drove past, the cop in the front definitely looked me over very hard but kept driving, I was a complete mess.

Still have a headache and feel like I have been in a 10 round fight with a heavyweight boxer. Still, I think once that hell is over I look back and think perhaps it will have a positive effect on me, time will tell.

Thankfully I have forgotten many of the things that happened to me.

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 108765
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 42
Published: Oct 14, 2020	Views: 716
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2C-B (52) : Combinations (3), Overdose (29), Difficult Experiences (5), Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53)