DOSE:

2 lines

insufflated

Ketamine

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

82 kg

KHOLE

First eyeballed ketamine dose, 4:15 AM
Physical state: all primary needs very well taken care of
Mental state: clear
Track: wars of faith by audiomachine

I cut a paper straw in half and put my minimalistically built room in order, and ready to insert the ketamine dose nasally. I divided the crystal in 2 equal lines and snorted each with a different nostril, it wasn’t at all hard or painful and after 30 seconds I didn’t notice it at all.

The effects of ketamine had started and the visual and auditory distortions were already at hand, after finishing the second line I turned off the light and closed the door. I lied down on my couch, I felt like myself but I was so inside myself that I was completely distant with myself, I didn’t know who I am, literal ego loss. Music was the only thing that had a sense of passing and completion, nothing followed the rules of time/space, nothing could be seen. If I opened my eyes I would see a stretched sight of my body which I had no understanding of, my sense of touch was distorted and my body moved very machine like. I closed my eyes and learned to let what can be felt inside, that was when I had a nonvisual and non-sensory perception, I was invoking god and waiting for it to enter my body.

Inside a rotating cube: nothing could be seen, but I was inside a cube rotating like clothes in a washing machine, and by the time I reached the corner of the cube I would fall out into another cube which was far bigger, all in non-sensory perception, a grand state which showed me the size of the universe. That from a simple line could break out worlds, how nothing is enough, and how anything that can happen has already happened. I passed by the cubes, and gained visual perception.

Truly doing anything without the presence of ego is hard and difficult, even with the repeating of all the memories I had from it changing a track was truly hard. If I wasn’t aware of my distortions I would assume I have achieved a high state of self-awareness because each part of my body required my full focus and attention, truly in the moment, but I knew self-awareness wasn’t the case. These few minutes passed like years, although in the hole I didn’t have any understanding of time. These few minutes were spent on the analysis of doing things in lack of ego whatsoever, and I began feeling my heart.

My heart was interestingly anxious, would shake and was softened, I felt like my heart was empty and dark, but the ketamine I had consumed was entering it bit by bit, I wasn’t feeling good until a voice echoed in my skull, “you can’t tolerate be closing (god, creator, whatever)”

My conversation with my friend which had also sold me the ketamine on a texting app:
-I’m high, I was higher
*how was it?
-I saw a black cube that incubated itself, years passed and it isn’t finished
*the language of ketamine is “geometry” and “dimension”, isn’t it?
-yes yes, from the corner of the cube (again I lost any meaning of personality here)
*the time gets so stretched; it is so stretched you feel like your hair has turned white
-I fell inside a cube, I wanted to see god, didn’t happen, didn’t come, didn’t let me go
*I’m god
-go, goooo, my intelligence isn’t gone
*I’m not kidding

-I’m returning home, I was home but it was a difficult home, can’t tolerate be closing
*I feel the ketamine … it splashes from the color and smell of your words, I’m happy you’re facing new truths, maybe it’s a good beginning, not maybe, certainly
-my heart is heavy, I want to shoot upwards, but my heart doesn’t let me
*learn to play with words in your mind, control them and build the most magnificent ratiocinations, your heart is learning from ketamine, just how your awareness bends knees to this grand master, see joy and take joy! I’m sleeping!
-I was sleep a lifetime
*and now you’re awake

After this conversation I lied down and slept and had interesting dreams, very clear and assured of itself unlike the stressful and faster dreams I have regularly.

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 108791
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 17
Published: May 20, 2018	Views: 764
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Ketamine (31) : General (1), Alone (16)