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Black Hole of the Mind
Morning Glory
by SYMK
Citation:   SYMK. "Black Hole of the Mind: An Experience with Morning Glory (exp108879)". Erowid.org. Sep 28, 2021. erowid.org/exp/108879

 
DOSE:
300 seeds oral Morning Glory

BODY WEIGHT: 165 lb


Interest and Acquisition: At the time of this experience, I was an occasional Cannabis smoker with an almost unquenchable interest, nearly an obsession, with the world of Psychedelia and the inner workings of the mind. Originally, the world of psychedelic substances was brought to my attention with my closest friend, MN, from a YouTube channel that specializes in informing the public of the true nature of psychedelics, and changing the stigma around them. After this, my friend and I were very knowledgeable, yet cautious, with dealing with any psychedelic, there was no mistake in our minds; these substances are extraordinary, but intensely powerful and are to be treated with respect. As many months came and went, our attempted acquisition of Psilocybin Mushrooms failed time and time again, I took it upon myself to discover legal psychedelics, and be able to purchase them without ramifications. After some time, I decided upon Morning Glory, specifically, the Heavenly Blue strain, and purchased 1500 untreated seeds, but after counting. I discovered I had nearly 2300. MN and I set the date of the experience to the night of July 14th through the morning of the 15th.

Preparation: 300 seeds chewed and eaten whole. A past attempt involving MN, involved a blender, as we didn’t have a coffee grinder, failed, and Water Extraction was time-consuming, so I decided to just deal with nausea and other side effects of eating whole seeds in the interest of time.

THE EXPERIENCE

10:30- Ingestion begins, the seeds have a very woody, almost almond-like taste at first, however, the more I eat, the worse they begin to taste, and begin to taste like urine and dirt, and I struggled to get them down.

10:43- Ingestion ends, and almost immediately, I begin feeling nauseous, but it is relatively mild at first, so I am not worried in the least.

11:01- Nausea begins to intensify, I sit on MN’s floor to circumvent this, and it works for a while, but after a few minutes, it begins to intensify further, and we decide to walk to McDonalds to eat.

11:08- Standing by MN’s front door, I begin to gag and salivate, and I rush outside, narrowly avoiding a bush as I sit on the ground to avoid vomiting. We sit for a few minutes and begin to walk again, but it is too much for me, and I vomit in the neighbor's lawn, seed mush and all. I wasn’t worried, though, as the LSA absorption is rather quick, and I began to feel much better after I vomited.

11:15- Half way through walking, we stop in a parking lot to catch our breath, and check a Pokestop in Pokemon Go. At this stage, I am beginning to feel slightly detached, and spacey, very similar to a weak buzz on Cannabis, nausea still present.

11:25- We reach McDonalds, and order 40 chicken nuggets for ourselves, and sit. I felt hungry as I was walking to the restaurant, but looking at the food, I feel very unattracted to it, but attempt to eat. I could only stomach 1½ of them before I became unable to eat anymore, with the inside of the nuggets looking fake and disgusting. My mind now begins to expand, as I begin to imagine the corruption of the world and cruel use of animals. I normally do not have thoughts of this nature.

11:50- I leave the restaurant with MN, and begin to walk back to his home. Through the walk back, although I still felt slightly nauseous, my mind was expanding rapidly, with my vision becoming sharper, and ideas and thoughts coming to my mind almost instantaneously and leaving almost as soon.

12:05- Arrive back at MN’s house, and after laying on his bed, bodily hallucinations begin to set in, with my legs beginning to tingle, and strange phenomena with my whole body, it all feels like I am melting inside, very warm and pleasant, feeling more spacey and detached. A string of lights in MN’s room can produce a wide variety of colors and patterns, helps change the mood.

12:32- Music feels almost orgasmic, as I listen at max volume. All senses feel enhanced, especially sight, as all objects feel symmetrical and sharp. Feelings of euphoria and spaciness are almost overwhelming.

12:46- Bodily hallucinations intensify, with the tingling in my limbs evolving to a pulsing wave moving throughout my entire body, along with a pressure in my jaw and behind my ears, which my mind cannot perceive as good or bad, merely a presence. My minds thoughts seem to change on a whim, be it good, or bad. Unique feelings of wonder and otherworldliness, almost exhausting to perceive. Feeling congested, yet am able to talk and breath normally, I have attributed this to the “pressure” that I feel.

1:10-Train of thought becomes one-sided, as I can focus on one thing at a time, and my mind perceives an almost infinite amount of scenarios and ideas about that one thing in a very short amount of real time, yet in the mind, seems very long. At this point, my concept of time is shattered, as I begin to message my girlfriend, and become engrossed in the conversation to the point of utter obsession.

1:23- I go to the bathroom for a piss, and continue to text my girlfriend, IE. She texts that she got lost walking home from MN’s house before the trip, and felt alone. At this time, my mind began to race at a pace that I was unprepared for, and I began to sink into my own mind, with the only way I can explain it being similar to a swirling black hole. In this state, with my mind perceiving so many scenarios of the conversation, I begin to imagine that she hates me for not walking her home, and any negative emotion swirls me deeper into an unhappy state. I am unable to explain this to IE due to my brains nature at the moment, and my mind plays out the fear and sadness of being lost, into the black hole of my mind, and I begin feeling regret and sadness. This small portion in the bathroom felt close to an hour in my mind, but when I return to MN’s room, he explains that I was only gone for 10 minutes.

1:50- I am unable to release my mind from the conversation with IE, and my mind begins to swirl faster and faster. I begin to feel a sense of dread and fear that she will break up with me because of this. I become frantic and hysterical in my texts to her, and she begins to reassure me that everything is ok, yet my feelings of fear and dread remain, dormant in my mind. MN leaves for a smoke break, and I assure him that I will be alright alone, not wanting to feel like a burden. His sister is with me now but leaves minutes later to smoke with them.

2:25- A sense of isolation fills the room, seemingly a presence. My mind swirls ever faster, and the fear and power of emotion grip me tighter and tighter, and the fear of losing my girlfriend burrows deep in me. I begin to break down, and I fail to explain this to IE, who is messaging about how sad and lonely she gets sometimes, and my mind interprets that to: “You have failed”. At this time I rapidly begin to peak, experiencing intense concentration at whatever my eyes glance at, seeing the walls droop and seemingly “breath”. At this point, my mind feels like a “superhighway”, as I cannot stop any idea or feeling from coming to my mind, lest I crash.

2:50- IE’s messages slowly become more and more positive, with my mind swirling with every idea and emotion I have ever had at once. I am in shock at the vibrancy of the lights in MN’s room and begin to change the color of the lights. My eyes are seriously enhanced, and I begin experiencing hallucinations. A certain dark green color allows me to see my hand as filthy, almost resembling a blacklight. I am in awe at the sight, with my bones seemingly popping out of my hand, and any change of my hand's position reveals a wave of thoughts and memories, each more intense than the last. I lean back, look at MN’s ceiling, and see the rectangular ceiling morph into hexagons and pentagons, seemingly creating edges at will. I close my eyes and experience intense C.E.V, ranging from creatures from other dimensions to 3D numbers and letters and numbers racing before my very eyes to the center of my consciousness. I am brought to my knees in awe at what I am experiencing.

3:15- Music unveils a whole new wave of ideas and thoughts, with each note permeating my very being, my feelings riding it almost akin to a wave. The conversation with my girlfriend has purged any negativity and isolation from my mind and replaced it with uncontrollable warmness and euphoria, as we explain our true feelings for each other, and I truly feel complete. My mind wanders, feeling almost like an endless field of wheat, which each stalk representing a memory and emotion. I feel separated from anybody or anything.

3:20- My mind begins to regain composure, with it being filled with unbelievable serenity and feelings of completeness, as I begin to realize that my feelings of fear and isolation, were for nothing, and all fears are for nothing, that everybody is one, and should treat each other as we would treat ourselves. Any music now only adds to my feeling of euphoria and completeness. I begin to feel compassion and care for anything I see, and that this is the state of consciousness that all of human-kind should be in, to be one with their fellow man and planet.

3:35- MN and his sister return, and I explain the intensity what I just experienced, yet they are unable to understand, even MN, who tripped a few days before, was surprised at my level of emotion and vibrancy. I begin to come down at this point, feeling complete with my friends, my girlfriend, and the earth. I begin to dabble on a piano app on my phone and feel unbelievably happy.

4:30- MN decides to go to sleep, and I agree that we should. I walk into the hallway and collapsed in exhaustion onto the floor with blankets, and stared at the wall next to me for nearly half an hour, intrigued by its many dots and patterns, hallucinating swirls and other patterns, entranced by auditory hallucinations of doors opening and air wafting into the room, as I slowly drift off to sleep, where my vivid dreams stood among the recesses of my mind…

THE NEXT DAY

I awaken to the sound of birds chirping, with a tranquility in my mind unlike any other morning of my life. As I am driving home, the world seemed complete to me, happy, relaxed, nearly surreal. No unpleasant side effects to be found, an experience definitely to be repeated.

Reflection- Unique experience and an enjoyable first look into the world of psychedelics, with the trip showing me what can go wrong, and what can take me out of any depressive spell or feelings of fear. Great experience!

Exp Year: 2016ExpID: 108879
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Sep 28, 2021Views: 140
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Morning Glory (38) : Glowing Experiences (4), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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