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All Talk Not Fun
MDMA
by Nightmare
Citation:   Nightmare. "All Talk Not Fun: An Experience with MDMA (exp109009)". Erowid.org. Jul 21, 2020. erowid.org/exp/109009

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
  repeated insufflated MDMA (powder / crystals)
  T+ 0:00 1 capsl oral MDMA (powder / crystals)
  T+ 24:00   repeated insufflated MDMA (powder / crystals)
  T+ 24:00 1 capsl oral MDMA (powder / crystals)
  T+ 48:00   repeated insufflated MDMA (powder / crystals)
  T+ 48:00 1 capsl oral MDMA (powder / crystals)
  T+ 0:00   smoked Cannabis (daily)

BODY WEIGHT: 155 lb


I've been experimenting with drugs since I was about 15. In the last year (2016) I was addicted to benzodiazepines due to my anxious episodes that I get daily since I was a kid. I also am a fairly heavy weed smoker. But all this is beside the point.

It was my 18th birthday, I had just picked up some Xanax to treat myself for my birthday. My girlfriend asked if I had wanted to try molly. (Note: I had never been big into amphetamines or stimulants, and even told myself I never wanted to do Molly and Ecstasy was far as I'd go.) But since it was my birthday and I heard so much good about it I decided, why the hell not!

So I set myself up a couple lines and then put the rest in a little glass of water. After about 15 minutes I felt absolutely incredible. I was doing a bunch of random walking around the room and I felt very weightless and free; almost like I could fly. Everything seemed so surreal. The sky was so bright, a hug from my girlfriend felt amazing, and all I wanted to do was laugh. My GF and I were heading to my house and I played some music on my radio... I believe it when people say 'You can feel the music in you' because I absolutely could! Lol. The trip only lasted about the rest of the ride home, so in total... Only 30-45 min. This was very dissatisfying. Even my dad took some and said the same thing, as he even snorted a couple lines and popped one capsule, and he had almost the exact same trip I did.
Even my dad took some and said the same thing, as he even snorted a couple lines and popped one capsule, and he had almost the exact same trip I did.
(My dad had also never tried MDMA until this time.)

Disappointed in my first trip, I decided to snort a few more lines with my GF the next night. I felt nothing at all. After 3 lines and no effects I put some powder on my tongue. Still nothing. Maybe a little bit in my body as I was smoking a blunt at the time, but no euphoria or warmth. The next day I had one more capsule and decided to snort a few lines again. This was the worst trip of my entire life. I don't know if it was because I have bad anxiety or what, but the entire time I felt like I was going to die. Literally. I was even about to message my GF at work and say to call the police. I thought 'this is it'. I felt pressure in my chest (could have been placebo effect), I also had very racing and vivid thoughts, and was twitching a lot. I couldn't stay still to save my life. So I just laid there staring at the TV until the trip was done.

I can say I genuinely enjoyed my first time on MDMA, but the next couple times were not so good. There was something telling me that I wasn't going to like MDMA. However this drug was very very addictive. Immediately as I came down from my first dose I wanted more and my GF said the same, as she's still waiting to go get some more, she calls them her 'happy pills'. Looks like just more Xanax and cannabis for this guy.

Exp Year: 2016ExpID: 109009
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 18 
Published: Jul 21, 2020Views: 239
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MDMA (3) : Families (41), Glowing Experiences (4), Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
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