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Thought Explosions and Strong Visuals
LSD
by trphd
Citation:   trphd. "Thought Explosions and Strong Visuals: An Experience with LSD (exp109051)". Erowid.org. Jul 6, 2018. erowid.org/exp/109051

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
  repeated smoked Tobacco  
  T+ 0:00   repeated smoked Cannabis (plant material)
  T+ 0:00 100 mg oral LSD (blotter / tab)
  T+ 2:34 100 ug oral LSD (blotter / tab)
  T+ 3:40 100 ug oral LSD (blotter / tab)
  T+ 5:06 100 ug oral LSD (blotter / tab)
  T+ 8:08 100 ug oral LSD (blotter / tab)
  T+ 8:08 20 mg smoked DMT  
  T+ 9:34 100 ug oral LSD (blotter / tab)
  T+ 10:00 100 ug oral LSD (blotter / tab)
  T+ 11:00 100 ug oral LSD (blotter / tab)
  T+ 11:52 100 ug oral LSD (blotter / tab)
  T+ 13:00 70 mg smoked DMT  


[Erowid Note: The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]

900ug of LSD. Skateboarding depression.

I had been mentality preparing for this trip for about a month waiting to move into my new house after been staying at my Mum’s for 3 weeks and not feeling comfortable to trip there.

I had been suffering from depression for about 5 years due to my Dad abandoning me and starting a new family.
Instead of dealing with my emotions I bottled them up. This lead to a lot of drug abuse and I became experienced with high doses of Alcohol, MDMA, Ketamine, MXE, Cannabis, Nitrous Oxide, Cocaine, LSD, 4-ACO-DMT, 2CE, 2CB, DMT, 5-MEO-DMT, Tramadol, Benzos and various other drugs. (A lot of RC’s)

I was taking all of these substances to escape life and make existence bearable, this ultimately destroyed my ability to properly feel emotion. I would not ever feel sad and was unable to cry for years even though I was suffering. This caused me to feel really frustrated with every aspect of my life without really knowing why. The inability to feel sadness made me feel inhuman I was studying at university but I was doing the bare minimum and barely scraping by. I wasn’t working and paid for my drug binges with my overdraft and by selling drugs. I felt like I didn’t care about anything and didn’t really want to exist. I started to shut people out and would rather sit in my room all night smoking weed then going out and meeting my friends. I never felt suicidal because I just see it as being selfish towards my loved ones. I had stopped selling drugs a few months before this trip and I was really struggling with money. Ultimately I felt useless and my plan for this trip was to make me feel human again and be happy with myself.

I had bought ten 100ug tabs and I was planning to take all ten, I have quite a large tolerance to most drugs and was excited to try being on a high dose of LSD. My last experience with LSD before this was taking 7 tabs quite quickly and having very overwhelming visuals where all the objects in my room would jump around like I was in a Disney film. Shortly after my peak I took a handful of Valium to knock myself out. I woke up maybe 12-16 hours later. I should not have done this as I personally blackout on high doses of Valium and have no impulse control. There has been times were I have taken anywhere between 200-700mg where I would blackout and do god knows what. Once I lost £1,200 gambling online after taking 700mg, that was all the money I had in the world)

Addressing my issues – I don’t remember at what time these all happened so I will describe them together now and then describe my dosage and visual experiences afterwards.

Throughout the night I was smoking tobacco in my joints, using more and more as I started to run out of weed. LSD always gives me the ability to separate feelings and experiences. For example, if I am listening to music I would hear each instrument separately at the same time. So when I was smoking tobacco I would feel the relaxation that it brings me but also I would feel the tar entering my body and clogging up my throat and lungs, I would remember that I hate the taste of tobacco bringing me to the conclusion that it is not worth smoking it.

I thought about my family problems and cried for the first time in years, I cried for a while and this allowed me to not only understand what was making me so miserable but to also let out these emotions like a human being and then be able to move on. I no longer felt frustrated and had a sense of peace. I felt sad but finally human.

I often fidget around by clicking my fingers and dislocating my shoulder and then popping it back in. While doing these things tripping I felt like I was breaking my bones and that my fingers and arm was actually falling off my body. This felt very uncomfortable and I decided that I really shouldn’t be doing this at all.

I have always been quite scared of the dark because it is unknown. I would sometimes feel uncomfortable walking around at night often feeling as if someone was following me and that something or someone wanted to harm me. While looking down my garden in the pitch black I started to see loads of wolves running towards me and this was quite unsettling because I knew this was all in my head I tried to embrace it and stay calm and obviously nothing happened to me. Now when I walk around at night I can remain calm, if I look behind me to make sure nothing is following me it will put the thought in my head and the more I react to these thoughts the more I felt like I was being chased. It sometimes would get to the point where I would start running and I would not be able to calm down until I was at home behind a looked door. I realised that if I just don’t react to these thoughts they don’t increase and they go away.

I realised that the reason I was abusing drugs was to escape from life, I would start getting more and more depressed until I would be smoking weed 99% of the day and then I would eventually start drinking every day and using benzos, opiates and anything available. I would purchase everything online so I had a lot of potent drugs to choose from. When I was tripping I realised that using drugs to black out my emotions was a very bad thing and I needed to stop. I now meditate when I need to clear my mind instead of taking drugs to cloud it.
When I was tripping I realised that using drugs to black out my emotions was a very bad thing and I needed to stop. I now meditate when I need to clear my mind instead of taking drugs to cloud it.


I also realised that I really needed to get my life together by getting a job and working harder on my studies. Setting goals is very important to being happy rather than focusing and worrying about things you have no control over.
Dosage and visuals.

12:00 – After waking up a few hours before and eating some breakfast I decided to take my first tab. I knew I was planning to take as high a dose as I could manage so I walked over to a friend’s house who had two Valium that he said I could have. I smoked a joint with him to thank him and then went home. I was thankful to have these because they are good for reducing trips and relieving anxiety. I felt like they were a sort of safety net encase I had a bad trip.

I knew I was going to be taking a lot of tabs and they normally take almost exactly an hour to take effect. Because of this I wrote down the time on a piece of paper every time I took a tab. I didn’t want to take a tab after forgetting I had taken one 20 minutes before. I would often feel like I wanted to take another tab but then I would look at my paper and realise that I was going to come up from a tab in the next 20 minutes for example.

14:34 – After coming up from the first tab I was relaxing, smoking a few joints and playing video games in my room. I decided it was time for another tab.

15:40 – I started to feel the effects of the second tab and knew that I wanted another, when I started coming up from the third tab I started looking at my curtains, they were netted and let in a lot of sunlight. The light coming in from the sun and the reflection of the sky, clouds and the houses across the road let in a wide variety of colours making my curtains appear to be beautiful stain glass windows.

One of my friends contacted me and asked if I wanted to go skateboarding with him. I really enjoy skateboarding and was excited to try it on acid. He wasn’t around for a couple of hours so I continued to enjoy the visuals.

17:06 – I took my fourth tab and went out to meet my friend. I arrived at the skate spot about 15 minutes before him. It was absolutely packed with people skateboarding and the visuals were really coming on strong. I was wearing sunglasses to tone down the visuals so I could see where I was going but also to disguise how wrecked I was to the general public.

Skateboarding was very enjoyable on acid. I felt quite wobbly but not like I was drunk, I was just quite distracted by all my thoughts and visuals. Anyone who skateboards will know that doing tricks uses a lot of muscle memory, I had been skating for about seven years so was able to land quite a lot of tricks. Although I would have to put all of my mental energy into doing any tricks, this made it in some ways easier than when I would skate sober because I would not put enough mental energy into it.
My friend decided to come back home with me and wanted to take a tab.

20:08 – Me and my friend both took a tab so I was on my fifth. I then went to my bedroom to smoke 20mg of DMT, I think it had lost potency because it had no noticeable effect. I then went outside to look at the trees. I felt very connected with them and it reminded me of the film Avatar.

21:34 – I take my sixth tab and then went downstairs to smoke a joint. We were smoking joints regally throughout the night and in total I must have smoked about 15-20 throughout the day and night. I looked out at the moon and it was beautiful, it looked like a bright glowing ball of rock. (I know that is exactly what it is but the shape and colour would change so it looked more like a comet stationary in the sky). It was also incredible to think about how big the moon actually is. It wasn’t completely dark at this point but it was starting to be.

22:00 – Even though I was still going to come up from my sixth tab about 20 minutes later I took my seventh because I really wanted to go deep into the visuals. We were sitting outside and it had gotten quite dark. We had set up a phone light pointing up through a water bottle to make a sort of lantern and we ended up staring at it for what felt like hours. We would occasionally say to each other things like “man this bottle” and “it’s just so good”.

I would be looking at the bottle and it would shine so bright that it looked like it had descended from heaven, then within the bottle the light would explode resembling the big bang and it created a universe inside. Time would pass very quickly and life would start to evolve, I would see tiny beings start to create buildings and eventually space crafts. The space crafts would start to fly out of the bottle but before they could leave they seemed to notice me watching them and they would return to the form of a bottle. This happened many times in a cycle and the whole cycle would take about 20 seconds.

23:00 – My friend went home as he had to work the next day, I took my eighth tab and the visuals started to get very intense. I was debating taking the Valium I had but then decided that I was able to handle myself fine and didn’t want to waste the acid I had by reducing the trip. I would be walking around my house and touching different materials like towels and walls, my hands would start to resemble that texture and appear to sink into it. This was very enjoyable. At one point I wrapped myself in a blanket and felt like I was the blanket.
I would be walking around my house and touching different materials like towels and walls, my hands would start to resemble that texture and appear to sink into it. This was very enjoyable. At one point I wrapped myself in a blanket and felt like I was the blanket.


23:52 – I took my finial tab and sent a one-hour alarm on my phone so I would know when I was starting to come to my peak. I was tripping very hard. The visuals would be creating widely detailed patterns out of anything I would look at and when I closed my eyes and meditation I would have visuals nearly as strong as that from a DMT breakthrough.

01:00 – I was tripping pretty hard at this point and decided to finish of my DMT that was probably about 60-80mg and then I was going to try an address the issues in my life that I was planning to.

The DMT had very little effect, it added a sort of curvy visual effect that I normally get from a low dose of DMT but didn’t have the breakthrough experience I was hoping for.

02:00 – I was starting to come down from the acid and knowing I would not be able to sleep I wanted to trip more. I loaded up my bong with somewhere between 15-25mg of 5-MEO-DMT. I had not taken 5-MEO before but had read up on it. Many people said they were surprised by the intensity so I was expecting a breakthrough experience. As soon as I exhaled the world started to go dark. My body felt like it melted away and I experienced an intense nothingness. I had no body, I existed but I didn’t feel connected to this universe. It was like I had died and there was nothing on the other side.
As soon as I exhaled the world started to go dark. My body felt like it melted away and I experienced an intense nothingness. I had no body, I existed but I didn’t feel connected to this universe. It was like I had died and there was nothing on the other side.
For a brief moment I almost felt like death would be preferable but as soon as even a second had passed it felt slightly less intense. The fact that I knew that I would be coming back calmed me down instantly. It was still intense but I knew it would pass. I then started to remember that I had bones and a body. It was like a was reborn.

I then tried to sleep but knew I wouldn’t be able to so I just laid in bed with my eyes closed and enjoyed the closed eyed visuals, I could seem to control them. I would think of a pineapple for example and then see one in front of me.

I was also getting sort of thought explosions where I would think of something simple like an object or a decision, I would then develop this thought but after about a second I would go off on a tangent forgetting my original thought and having so many other thoughts in my head that I could no-longer pay attention to any of them so I would then let them float away so my mind wouldn’t get cluttered.
I was also getting sort of thought explosions where I would think of something simple like an object or a decision, I would then develop this thought but after about a second I would go off on a tangent forgetting my original thought and having so many other thoughts in my head that I could no-longer pay attention to any of them so I would then let them float away so my mind wouldn’t get cluttered.


I got out of bed at around 7am and then tried to get on with the day, I still felt like I was on one or two tabs throughout the day but I felt sober enough to play video games and then go out for a skate in the evening.

When I got back at around 8PM I planned to take a nap and then go out and buy some dinner but I ended up sleeping for about 14 hours.

All in all, I got exactly what I wanted from my trip. I got to experience intense visuals and also dealt with some of the issues that were ruining my life. Being on acid reminded me that I really enjoy being outside and looking at trees and other plants and made me realise that I don’t need drugs to enjoy these things. I have now started going outside regularly to meditate to replace smoking a joint or a bong.

Exp Year: 2016ExpID: 109051
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 22 
Published: Jul 6, 2018Views: 1,288
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LSD (2) : Various (28), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Depression (15), Combinations (3), General (1)

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