DOSE:	repeated	smoked	Cannabis
	2 hits	smoked	DMT
	2 hits	oral	LSD	(blotter / tab)

BODY WEIGHT:

55 kg

My experience with DMT can be described as a peak of a psychedelic journey that I can most definitely say was rushed, and I would categorize as a bad trip. After experiencing LSD for the first time when my friend gave me some on my 19th birthday, I had to try more, and keep going further. A few weeks later, I've gotten a hold of DMT, and was very excited to try it.

The night (Saturday night) started off with a few people hanging at mine, most of which were just drinking, though some were smoking cannabis, myself included. It was an extremely chilled night, no parents (they were out for the whole weekend), nothing to limit us, so all was calm. I was waiting on my friend, who had a lot of experience (whom onward I will refer to as Zay), before I would try the point of DMT that I had been holding on to anxiously for the past week. At about 9pm, he arrives, and at about 10pm we head to a park nearby.

By this point, I was already quite stoned from the cannabis , as I have quite a low tolerance for it. I feel that my conviction and determination to smoke DMT was pushing me through my usual 'out of it' mindset which occurs normally when I smoke, into a state that was very much aware of what was going on around me.

Zay prepped the bong for me, packing in half the point in between a bit of cannabis, to make it easier for me. As soon as I had started inhaling, I instantly felt what could be described as falling into a dimension of patterns and colours, however falling upwards. I would say it felt like being sucked in, but it was much more like falling.

As soon as I had cleared the cone piece, my friend packed the rest of the point in, the same way. It felt much harder to take, as I was trying to fight through what I was experiencing so that I could actually move in reality. However, as soon as I had finished that one as well, I lost myself completely to the feeling.

Most people I've talked to say that they experience someone talking to them, chanting, or figures around them. I did not experience any of that, and only extreme psychedelic visuals, such as a vast array of patterns swirling through me, and around me, like some kind of warped version of what you see in sci-fi movies, when they go into light speed jumps.

This lasted about 10 minutes, or so I was told. In my mind, I felt like I had been falling for hours. After this immediate effect, I came back to reality, yet the patterns were still there, only just making up everything around me. By this point, all of my friends had gathered around me, and unfortunately decided it was fun to mess with me a bit. For anyone who is accompanying a friend trying this, do NOT do this. They were constantly asking me questions, and at one point someone placed a guitar tuner on my nose and told me to scream as high as I could, to which I did. To me, all of this felt like it was sending me into a chaotic mess of insanity, one that I felt I would not be able to escape.

This descent into madness went on for what I could only perceive as a never-ending cycle of 3 weeks of night, as in I would experience all of this torment on the step I was sitting on for 3 whole weeks where it was only night time, and once this was over, another 3 weeks would start.

Eventually, I came back to reality, to hear that only about 20 minutes had passed, yet most people had already left to go home as I had apparently scared them. Zay started to ask me what I had experienced, anxious to know, but I was not wanting to talk about it. I did not know HOW to talk about it at that point, only that I felt I did not wish to experience it again. However, I asked him if I could have some acid, that I knew he had. After a bit of persuasion, he gave me a tab, which I consumed immediately.

Going back to my place with whoever had stayed, we just ate and talked in the kitchen, whilst I was still lost in my own world. I don't remember much of this part, except that I convinced Zay to give me yet another tab, which I again consumed immediately.

Eventually, everyone left but Zay, who stayed the night. At about 7am, I went back to my room to attempt to get some sleep. However, as I laid down, with the side of my head on the pillow, I saw a figure lying next to me. This figure, I realized, was me, or at least, an exact copy of me.

Side note here: for as long as I can remember, 99% of my dreams consist of death, grief, sorrow, and other similar themes, and me personally experiencing them. The feeling of pain, and grief, was amazing to me, almost euphoric. I felt that this figure was the physical embodiment of that feeling.

As I lay there, it spoke to me, but not in words, communicating that it was not afraid to harm others just so I could continue feeling that joy and ecstasy. Then suddenly, it disappeared, back inside of me I felt. At this point I was shaken to the core, not sure what had just happened, but an immense wave of fear overcame me, and for the next 2 or 3 hours I could do nothing else but lay in my bed, freaking out.

At about 9 or 10am, I went downstairs, trying to gain some kind of mental stability and clean up the mess from the previous night, to no avail I might add. Zay woke up, and we both left to go walk to the station and get some food, from where he departed back home and I went back to mine. Upon returning, a friend who had been there last night called me, saying he was nearby and offered to pick me up to go to a store. Prepping myself, I went to the bathroom, and looked in the mirror. As soon as I saw myself, my body started morphing, not in to anything specifically, but just out of shape, into something I did not recognize. Seeing this, I lost what felt like my understanding of who I was, or who anyone else was. As my friend comes and picks me up, I felt like having to ask him what he does in life, so I can understand who humans are. Eventually I depart, and continue the rest of my weekend meeting friends, and going on a date which I had spontaneously attained that very night. The rest of my weekend I felt extremely out of it, and was just slowly piecing myself back together.

By the Monday or Tuesday I felt close to normal, but felt like I would not ever be the same after that experience again. That being said, I knew that I wished to try it again, even if that meant seeing the figure again.

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 109412
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: May 6, 2021	Views: 451
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DMT (18) : First Times (2), Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)