Citation: LiveLaughLove. "A Bad Trip With Good Results: An Experience with 'Mushrooms' (exp109505)". Erowid.org. Nov 22, 2016. erowid.org/exp/109505
A substance(s) in this report might be identified incorrectly. Erowid reviewers question the author's identification of the drug described. Although the report is included in the collection, the substance might be something other than the author believed it to be.]
First, a little backstory, I'm a college student. So far I've used marijuana only a couple times and really have no experience on anything besides alcohol and my cigarettes. After a lot of thought I decided to go and try mushrooms, and after some search I found them though not in a traditional form (which may have been a saving grace)
Preparation for the trip: I was by myself and basically locked myself away which was good and bad as I'll discuss.
T+0:00- I took what I'd gotten which was a small gummy the size of a normal gummybear and took that and chased it with Pepsi. All together it was bitter but I liked the flavor which seems odd to people I guess. At this time I noticed a migraine coming on and took a caffeine pill to stop it from interfering due to my migraines usually being debilitating.
T+0:30-I noticed everything started to feel different, I couldn't focus on anything and my hands felt numb and tingly at the start of the trip. Nothing else besides lack of focus on my book so I laid down on my bed and stayed there.
T+0:45-A rather odd feeling started taking hold and I felt an uncomfortable tightness in my chest and a pain in my stomach. I rolled around and settled on a movie to take my mind off the unpleasant feelings.
T+1:00-This is where it started getting interesting. I felt happy as can be and couldn't stop smiling at even the most ordinary things, I started looking at my fish and thought about life in a bowl and kept seeing lines in geometric patterns flowing when I closed my eyes. No further changes from this state, I was wondering about life's point for a bit hoping for my fish to answer.
T+1:30-I realized I needed to go to the bathroom so I practically threw myself out of bed hoping to find the floor under me. I stood up and felt like I was drunk and thought to myself that this was so much better than drinking and I felt happy for the first time since I broke up with my long time partner. I somehow managed to slip shoes on even though my legs didn't want to work. When I opened the door and saw the hall lights I felt like I was back in reality and stumbled to the bathroom and saw my reflection which I thought was hilarious and my pupils looked like they were changing constantly. After this I don't remember much besides darkness.
T+2:00-It felt like I was vibrating and my foot kept shaking. I felt like I needed to be outside even though it was cold and rainy so I went out and felt sober and free of the humming in my body.
I felt like I needed to be outside even though it was cold and rainy so I went out and felt sober and free of the humming in my body.
I watched as people went by and lit a cigarette admiring the smoke rising up and I kept seeing birds in the smoke. This captured me and I watched as they flew away into the sky only to feel alone when I'd finished. The nausea set in again so I went back in to lay down, this time the bed seemed ominous like something bad would happen if I got back in it. Me being curious what a bad trip felt like, I got back in.
T+2:30-This is where it gets bad. I made the mistake of contacting said ex and was met with an unpleasant hang up mid conversation. This felt like someone punched my heart and killed it, the happiness disappeared in an instant and became a grid in my mind. I looked around for a minute only to see I was alone and then a dark shape came at me and seemed to cover me head to toe. At this point I felt helpless and couldn't shake that feeling of hopelessness. The room was pitch black though I still saw tenticals coming at me from all sides. My friend later told me that I experienced ego death due to me not being able to describe this feeling and not having any hallucinogen or real drug experience. The room I was in was there, I felt the bed under me, I smelled the air, but all the while I wasn't there. Everything around me was heightened, I saw everything in the room even in darkness though looking back certain objects seem to have moved around in the black surrounding me.
T+2:15-I laid there feeling nothing yet everything then all of a sudden I felt like I was gone from this world. That hopeless feeling grew until I couldn't bear it and I started to cry because the one person I believed in left me and because college was a road I was forced to take and after some time of this crying I saw my fish floating in me. The fish was me. When I realized this the crying subsided and the dark faded away and I just laid there staring into the ceiling which only seemed to grow in size and swirl around. I got lost in this until I began to break down once more.
T+3:00- This time is a guess based off of a text I'd received but it was around this point. I suddenly realized I was better than this and somehow ended up sitting at my desk and turned a light on. This light became the center of my world, attacking the darkness covering me. The crying stopped when the light came on and I began regaining my sense of reality. I told myself to man up and to not let this hopelessness control me. I fought this pseudo successfully which intermittent bouts of fear and hopelessness.
T+3:30-I had regained my body and the dark ceased to take my soul from me so I laid back down and watched as my fish left my body and floated back in his bowl.
T+6:00-I had laid in the bed till this point looking back on life and finding nothing but shapes floating in black and white against my eyelids. Around now I felt back to myself and looked back on this trip as a lifetime experience. Would I do it again? Most definitely. Even for it being a 'bad trip', I feel like the dose was lower than most. Besides a ringing in my ears and sound being muffled as I write this, I'd like to do this again but with a larger dose, possibly 2 or 3 gummies.
This trip showed me what I feared when I wasn't able to face it myself. I don't see it as a bad trip if it's even considered that. The dose was small enough that it wasn't debilitating and I'd learned more about my life in a few hours than I had in 19 years.
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