DOSE:

0.75 cups

oral

Ayahuasca

(tea)

BODY WEIGHT:

76 kg

The Setting

It had been 6 months since I had last drank Ayahuasca. I had been blessed to know people who have trained in the art of brewing and working with the spirit of Ayahuasca. I had never visited the jungles of Amazon, but I know a person who has, and with him, I’ve been lucky enough to have to experiences in my home country, many times in a summer cabin in the middle of the woods, by a lake.

My friend contacts me. How about some healing session this weekend? I hesitated for a while. My friend suggested we do it the day after tomorrow. I was thinking of doing some LSD that weekend, like I had done the past two weekends. Just some slight introspection and maybe making music.

But Ayahuasca, now that’s a completely different thing. Back of my mind I had a memory of that first time, the roughest experience I’ve gone through in my whole life. It had burned itself into my retinas, the healing that happened that night was something so deep and in my face that I will never forget it. I let go a lot of darkness that night.

I said ‘sure, let’s say a pre-emptive yes’. He asked, ‘Maybe we can go the summer cabin?’. It was beginning of summer here in the northern parts of the world, plants starting to come alive and the sun was finally here. Why not, so we decided, let’s do it, it’s a New Moon on the weekend, we will drink then. Two days to prepare for Ayahuasca felt a little short, but I had this attitude that ‘I’ve done it before, I can take it’.

Preparation

On Saturday, we arrived at our summer cabin. We decided to drink during that night, Saturday to Sunday morning, with the new moon. Outside, with mattresses and blankets laid in front of the fireplace. Now, the first time I had contact with Ayahuasca, I wouldn’t call it drinking, because the mix was so light and it even barely worked, so I don’t count it. But the first time I had contact, I heard the spirit of Ayahuasca talk to me:

‘Welcome, old friend’.

I had also remembered I had experience working with Ayahuasca in previous lives, and I could remember being a shaman and a healer in many, many, many lives before this. I had some kind of innate experience of working with this plant and with these states, although I had relatively little experience in this current physical life.

So, we begin the process late in the night, at about ten o clock. The sun has not even yet set down, it’s relatively light outside. The blue sky scattered with clouds, the tall birches looming around above us, fireplace in front of us by the side of our cabin. My friend sets up the altar table by the fireplace. Some Palo Santo, Aqua de Florida, the small cup covered in ayahuasca icaro patterns. I put a banana as a gift to the spirits of the forests there, some White Sage and and my jew harp. I have my trusty drum with me also by my side, and some shakers on the floor beside us. My friend has his flute.

I begin drawing a magic circle around us with the White Sage, so that only those who are of highest good to us can enter the circle. My friend takes the wings of a bird and the palo santo, and signals me to stand up. He cleanses my body with the palo santo, and I do the same to him. Then we sit down, he takes the plastic bottle containing the black goo looking drink, smokes some mapacho, authentic jungle tobacco, at the same time.

He asks me ‘How much do you want ?’

I feel deep intuitively. Reaching out for the amount to drink. Visualising it. And get the number and vision of the cup filled to 3/4 parts. I tell him the number, and he fills the cup to three thirds, blowing mapacho smoke on top of the cup after filling it.
He gives me the cup. I know again, this is it, here I am holding the cup again.

The feeling of respect fills me for a while. Time stops for just couple of seconds, as I realize what will happen after drinking it. I hold the cup to my head just for ten-twenty seconds, asking to connect to its energies. Then I take the cup and quickly drink it. Ewghh. The taste is more bitter than I remembered. I can feel the brew going into my stomach, making me twist my face as I taste it’s bitterness and earthy taste. The aftertaste makes my whole body react to it, I take a sip of water to wash it away. This bitter taste resonates in my mouth for a long time after drinking it, and they say the taste gets more bitter each time drinking.

But now it is done.. There is no going back anymore.

Contact with the Plant Spirit

We sit down in silence, waiting for the effects to begin. I put more wood in the fire. After maybe 20-30 minutes, I start to feel the effects. A calming effect, of being here, in this place again. A feeling of somebody approaching me, like a space out of nothingness forming inside me. I close my eyes and I can feel different inside me. The voice of the plant starting to quietly talk to me. Like a voice coming from a far away place, approaching me slowly more and more. I concentrate on the voice. It’s not something I hear, but something I sense, on a telepathical level.

‘Welcome, so glad to see you are here again, bravely drinking without critical need, this time it will be more about regular maintenance’
‘Relax, it’s going to be easy and comfortable’

The voice and presence of another gets stronger and stronger. The plant speaks more and more to me. I can remember it having a sense of humour, jokingly declaring things, even a bit pokey, but with good taste and a feeling that this being has a interesting taste of humour.

My Intentions For This Journey

Slowly during the onset, I remember my intentions for this time. I had four intentions for this journey: To recover a lost part of my son's soul. To heal my knees. And two other things related to my personal issues, I cant remember now. I kept repeating these now while the voice was still clear and everything pretty much calm around me. I asked for answers and solutions for my questions. I got the message ‘Four is good, all of your wishes will be fulfilled’.

Some time passes, and I can feel clearly the the Spirit of the Ayahuasca asking us to call her. I can clearly feel the call, that we need to ask for healing. I wait nervously some time to open my mouth, I maybe even over respect the space of my friend in this state. I say quietly, “I am going to sing now”.

And I start singing. Asking for healing from the spirit of Ayahuasca. And protection from the great spirit of Ayahuasca. I repeat my song until it feels it is over.

Still time passes, and the effects are now stronger in my body, I can clearly feel being in a strong meditative state. I still feel that the Ayahuasca requires us to actively ask for it to come fully on. I wait for a while and not say anything, and I get, ‘Fine, well Ayahuasca will come when you begin to ask for it’. I wait, and try to sense what my friend is thinking. Is he sensing the same thing ? And quickly, he starts to sing some song. Calling for Ayahuasca. I take my drum, and join in the song. And drum and listen. We create the space together, calling for the spirit to come and be present with us.

And she comes. I can feel her in our presence, she is very close. I can feel part of me saying words out of this world. And I try my best to let go, and let those words come out. Alien words come through me. Their meaning probably something to do with thankfulness and gratefulness. I lose myself for a while. Then my mind comes back, and I stumble with some of the sentences coming through me a bit. But she is here. I can definitely feel her. I see a feminine figure in front of me, in the fireplace, with my eyes closed, hovering in front of us.

Letting go

I feel intuitively that it is time to let go. And I put down my drum. Lay down. Relax. Let go. With a tip from another good friend, an old soul, I tell the spirit of Ayahuasca:

“I permit access to all interfaces within me, outside me, on all levels of my existence, so that they may be used for the healing and betterment of my highest good, on all possible levels”.

I repeat this phrase three times, giving access to all the methods and ways that the plant could heal me. And immediately after those phrases, I feel a sudden change. My body is completely relaxed, I don’t feel any tension anywhere. Even my deep inner thigh muscles feel completely relaxed. Suddenly, I feel the spirit of ayahuasca starting to work on me. Not inside me like previous times, but outside of my physical self. I could feel it’s healing starting from the outside, from the very borders of my existence. From the very borders of the vast being that is I, ayahuasca was starting to do it’s work. From the edges of those interfaces that are connected to me, ayahuasca was starting to heal me.

At this point, I kinda lost memory and sense of time. I had the great feeling of being just completely immersed into a healing process. I could feel and hear mechanical drill-like sounds coming from around my head, in many places. Buzzing loudly, like drilling out heavy energies from my head, but not in a physical sense, but more of cleaning my aura field. Or my other bodies than this physical one. But it still felt very powerful, I could not focus on it, as it was very much full on my face stuff, like going to the dentist, I don’t want to focus on the drill drilling me, but anything else. The feeling was the same, I was focusing on something else while the plant worked on me. This all happened very quickly, and the last thing I can remember before completely blasting out of my body was the feeling of a hole being opened up in my head. And a big drill coming down into my head, cleansing the innards of my skull with great force. It felt like a hole being opened up in my head, and somebody or something reaching inside with an instrument of a mechanical/biological kind and starting to clean the very innards of my head.

Visiting the 11th Dimension

At this point, I flew out of my body, still remaining conscious of my environment and my friend, but out of my body. I went up level by level, seeing on the way pyramid structures, and shooting out of the tip of those pyramid structures, until I landed on a level where the travelling stopped. I could see a high energy place, with huge amounts of energy going in all directions, on a massive scale. In the distance, I could see another pyramid like structure and some being there channeling energy in all directions, with high vibrant yellow, orange, blue, red colors.

More close to me, was another being, a big blue god like character, a bit like the Engineer character from the movie Prometheus. But in bright blue color, with a golden piece of armor, wearing a head piece of some kind, crystalline of formation, pointing upwards and to the sides, in light blue crystal white colors. Sporting a bright pink crystal on the center of it’s head, it’s eyes bright cyan in color. The feeling of hugeness surrounding it, size that is not physical size, but dimensional size. And he was telling me:

‘So, you’ve had the permission to see what it’s like in the 11th dimension, welcome. Look around you now as you can, as this is a very limited privilege, Learn! See! Listen!’

In physical time my being there was not long. But in a sense, it felt like a very long time indeed. I could see how these beings in the 11th dimension were very powerful, god like, but at the same time, they were not beings like we think of beings, they were more complex systems of greater coherence than we can ever imagine here on the 3rd dimensional level. The energy there felt out of this world, so powerful and quick to move, like hyper energy, something almost too high-frequency to even describe in this slow third dimension. I saw some crystalline pyramid constructions there, how they operated and how they channeled energy to all dimensions around them.mConnecting these crystals between each other, I saw two of these pyramids, the other one being governed by this blue being, and at the other one I could sense a more feminine energy, a more feminine being in the distance. Rays of light and high frequency vibrating lightning were pulsating between these pyramids.

Quickly, my time there was over. I have no idea how long I was there. All the while I was being there, my body was being worked on by operators around me. Slowly I was coming back down more to my body. And I could feel being back in my body, sensing my friend beside me. I laid there on the floor, and was completely overtaken by what I just experienced. I felt strange, who was I and where was I ? Was the healing already over ? I stood up to sit slowly, and I realised it was far from over. Sitting down, I could feel these blasts of energy coming through me, like I was being electrocuted from the head level.

“Zzzzommp!, Zzzooomp! Zzzoooomp!’

These waves of electricity went through me, from the sides of my head, through my spine and towards my legs. I started shaking involuntarily, I could feel this energy going through my nerves and making my muscles shake. This continued for a while, this series of shocks and then shaking, until a very specific part of my body was completely relaxed from the operation. Then this process would continue to another part of my body, to different muscles.

“Zzzawhamp! Zzzawhamp! Zzahwamp!”

Waves of energy blasting through the sides of my head.

I felt cold, but at the same time I got the confirmation that this is not coldness, it is the medicine doing its work. We had the fire going, and it was a cool summer night, so I was not worried and continued. After some time I could relax for a while, and take in heat from the fire. Put more woods into the fire, and just be.

It was difficult to be, so I started to rock around a bit, to rock to the inner sound within me that was somehow singing. This movement put me into ease, and let me process a bit what had happened. Then the waves came again. And again. Taking huge yawns between these shocks, where I felt that my jaw was almost dislocated and huge amounts of tension being released with these yawns. And in between, I would communicate with different spirits appearing while looking in the fire. A spirit of the forest coming to see what is happening. A spirit of an crocodile. And at some point, a high dimensional being comes to my visions.

Meeting with the 9th Dimension Reptilian

A Lizard Being, from the 9th dimension I got. I see him standing, floating to the right of me, by the fire. A very conscious being, blue aura, but still a body of a lizard. And I could see its tongue slithering. Its huge, wide, blue and yellow snake eyes. A blue skin with an intricate patterned texture. Very high level. But at the same time, the physical form was very low level in a sense. I could sense its want, need, urge, to capture, grab, mate and all these other primitive feelings. And at the same time, the being could focus its being, for times at while, for very high focus on the crown chakra and third eye area. Becoming very zen, very calm, very buddha like in its stature. But it could not hold the focus for very long, It had trouble holding onto this form. And I started communicating with this being:

I asked, “Who are you ? What are you doing here ?”

‘We are reptilians, and our evolutionary path has taken such an extreme form, that we are now in trouble’
‘We have evolved to such high level lizards, that it is difficult to step back from this form’
‘We have gone so deep in this one function, that it now drives us no matter what we do’
‘But we are learning, new ways, to come together, to learn how to work in a more uniform matter’
‘To become part of the galactic consciousness, the galactic community’
‘Some of us have recognised the futility of our form, and in the end it has lead to eating each other’
‘Which is not very productive for the evolution of our species as a whole’
‘So we are now evolving, moving away from our Reptilian form, to something completely different’

We kept discussing there for a while. I was astonished to see such a contradictory form, very high level spiritually, an very old soul inhabiting this body, but still being limited by such animal like needs. Reminded me of our own struggle as humans to evolve. And my own needs, and the drive that leads me to follow those needs. Felt it was a reminder that this is not something uncommon in the Universe, and that there are many lifeforms working together to evolve as a whole. And dealing with the same issues. Coming together here on Planet earth, to connect, to channel these issues outwards and inwards form this planet to the farthest reaches of the galaxy. Reminding me again the importance of this Place, the role Earth has as a diplomatic meeting place.

Meeting with the Satanic Cult

The discussion with this being slowly faded, and he left my field. The turn of events quickly went to another direction. I could feel myself being pulled towards more sinister energies. Sounds hailing in the air, like tritones of metallic guitar sounds, but still more purely sonic in nature, like metal guitar played with trumpets, low basses combined with high notes, playing these short progressions of notes, all a bit off tune from each other, forming some kind of pulling energy. Some kind of un-harmonic field that is close enough to its harmonic counterpart to pull in my interest and my whole being. And at the same time, I started to see these dark beings. These huge dark beings, twisted shapes, eyes red and white, staring in the darkness, only revealing parts of themselves by time. Three of them at least.

And a set of gates, like cemetery gates in front of me. The number 666 flashing before my eyes. I had history with this number. Understanding this number. Seeing that it had been rebranded by the christian society, used for evil. And now I could feel it used to lure me into their energy. It is a very harmonic number, a number of manifesting energy on a physical level. And I could feel these beings using this form, to their own personal uses. And the communication started:

“Come with us”
“Feel the Power”
“You could have this all”

And I could feel the power they were offering me. The immense power of being a part of a bigger thing than me. Of utilizing the energy they had gathered. Just waiting for me beyond the gates. A spokesperson stepped forwards. Some kind of reverend, wearing a priests outfit. He presented himself to me, told me in telepathic messages:

‘You could have immense power’. If I just stepped in through those gates.

But I had chosen my path already. And that is Light. I projected Light and Love around me. Light and Love towards these beings. They were very persistent, showing me more images of power, wealth. If I just would step through the gates, please. But I knew my position, and what I am doing here.
And this is not my way. This way of darkness has a limit, and I have already gone through that limit before. No need to experience it any more. I stayed in my own power and light. And slowly, the cult left my vision of field.

Fetching the soul of my son

After this eerie vision, I could hear still those tritone voices playing as echoes. Slowly they went away, and I lied down there for a while. And then, a feeling came. Now it is time, to go with the drum. To travel with the drum, and fetch a part of my son's soul. My newborn, only six months old, very afraid of water, always crying when put near water. A friend of mine, a healer, had told me that part of his soul was trapped. And now it was time to get it back. I took my drum, and started listening, carefully. Is it time ? Is this meaningful ? Is this correct ? Yes.

I started drumming. Drumming away, just listening to what was coming, slowly. And suddenly, I was descending, into the underworlds. Deep within the earth, not this earth, but some other place, other planet, other time. A place not inhabited by humans, but something else, humanoids of different kinds. I could hear my son calling.

His soul being trapped within a swamp, deep within the ground. Stuck in a swamp, with some beast-like beings also there with him, their skeletons around him. I got the vision, he had been eaten by these beings, and got stuck there, the trauma not letting go of him. And I started drumming more powerfully, more intentionally, pulling him upwards, encouraging him to come out of this place, to let go of the pain. I continued drumming for a long time. Slowly, slowly, very slowly, working with his soul, encouraging, loving, healing. Pulling the soul upwards.

And finally, the soul let go. Of the pain and the trauma of this event that had lead him to get stuck there. And I could see him, my son, a tall being, over 2 meters tall, shining with light. He was very thankful, I was almost in tears. I saw this part of him getting connected back to his oversoul. Like a triangle formation shooting itself from the tip of the triangle, with pure light, to a greater structure. And I could feel him becoming more whole, more himself, not afraid anymore. I was very happy.

Getting rewarded

Finally it started to feel that most of the medicine had done its work. My body was more relaxed, no more shivering. Maybe 3 - 4 hours had passed now. I took the courage to stand and feel that maybe I could purge this thing inside me. I’ve never been able to vomit with ayahuasca, but I’ve managed to get rid of most of it through pissing. I go to the forest, and I can feel the trees wanting what I have, so I give my urine to them, and feel relaxed, like the liquid inside me had left me, removed most of the toxins within myself. I go back to sit to the fire. And now, the strangest part of my journey starts to begin.

These beings, digital in nature, come to me. They start to show me things. I can feel them wanting to tell me something. I let go again, relax fully, just be in total relaxation. I allow this information to come to me. They start to show me how a computer works, what kind of noise does a computer make, and how it works visually when it is calculating. I am a programmer, a software developer, so I am very familiar with computers. But now I am starting to slowly transform into one. Feeling as I am the CPU, or witnessing the CPU and its memory operations in front of me. Hearing what kind of sound a modern CPU does when it is computing. I can hear the harmony of countless bits being calculated, like a giant parallel clockwork of waterfalls dropping down binary information in huge amounts, generating this high and at the same time low pitched sound.

Slowly, I am transforming from my being into more deeper levels. These beings around me, digital elves, they show me how a GPU works. How it can take one number and replicate it around in parallel with almost infinite bandwidth from my human view point. Slowly I turn into this GPU. I am the GPU for a while, I am channeling this energy inside it, feeling, hearing how it is calculating information. And wondering, ‘What the heck are we even doing with computers ? Do we even have any idea what we are working with?’

Slowly the visions of the CPU and GPU fade away, and I'm left in awe wondering what the heck just happened.

Healing a dog

And with this information also, somehow, my being transforms from the GPU to myself. And I can feel these beings showing me also how to utilize this same information to healing a dog that we have here with us, laying next to us. A dog who is old, and who has bladder problems.

I project myself inside the dog, and see, the cells there are not anymore reproducing. There is stagnation happening inside the energy circulation, in the liver area, or where the urine forms. Somehow, I utilise this parallel GPU model to the energy distribution of this urine system inside my friend's dog. And the energy starts to flow, and I feel the dog getting better. And I sense he is going away soon, leaving this place. He is already old, 15 or 16 years.
The healing continues, and I feel it is over.

Suddenly, I see the dog's face staring at me. He is a puppy suddenly, a small enthusiastic puppy, jumping around, happily, ears flopping, great energy. Like he is thanking me. And I am glad, just laughing :)

Getting Back

And slowly, I get back to this Earth more. And the experience starts to wade. The healing done. All that is left is enjoying the afterglow, and playing some jew harp for the forest spirits watching us there. We go back to sleep slowly, and tomorrow wake up refreshed, happy, clean. Wondering what happened yesterday. Changing stories and just being in the nature.

And this was my 6th time drinking ayahuasca, and more times would come.
Thank you for reading so far, enduring this peculiar experience :)

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 109514
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 35
Published: Mar 10, 2018	Views: 7,979
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Ayahuasca (8) : Mystical Experiences (9), Entities / Beings (37), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)