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Finding Who I Am
DMT & Cannabis
by Mehdster
Citation:   Mehdster. "Finding Who I Am: An Experience with DMT & Cannabis (exp109547)". Erowid.org. Apr 28, 2021. erowid.org/exp/109547

 
DOSE:
2 hits smoked Cannabis
  2 hits smoked DMT

BODY WEIGHT: 220 lb


Ever since one of my friends told me about DMT, I knew that I had to to experience the wonder that is DMT. I’ve done psychedelics before. Mushrooms and LSD were amazing but nothing can compare to what I experienced during my first DMT experience.

I was told that DMT would present itself to me when I was ready. One night in June, I managed to score a gram of the spirit molecule. I came home and put it in my drawer – it sat there for four months. Physically, I was ready. Mentally, not so much. I 've educated myself on DMT, read other users' experiences, watched the documentary and just research general information on the psychoactive chemical.

The day after after my birthday in October, I knew it was time as I was preparing myself for a week for this moment because for me, psychedelics are all about having a spiritual experience and going through self-realizations. That is always my mindset when doing psychedelics. To learn about myself and make a change for the better, there is no greater feeling.

The Setting:

I was alone at home. My roommate and his girlfriend were at work so I decided that it was the perfect time. I heard that doing DMT alone is not recommended but if you’re in the right setting and have the right mindset, there is nothing to worry about. I put on Solfeggio 852hz to set a relaxing and safe atmosphere.

The experience:

I grabbed my bong and put a little bit of weed. I then put my 0.4g of DMT and covered it with more weed. I take five, slow deep breaths and realize that I am about to experience what few people in our world are lucky enough to possess.

I take my first hit and hold it in for a few seconds. I exhale and immediately take a second hit. I know I had to be quick because DMT is an extremely fast acting compound. As I hold it in, I get a rushing sensation and immediately exhale and collapse on my bed. When I fell back on my bed, I saw a rotating and colorful universe. I felt as if I I was propelled in a different dimension, a different realm. The visuals were of beauty I’ve never seen before. I felt empowered by what I was seeing because it was of such magnificence. I’ve lost total touch of my body and our physical world. Honestly, I was scared because I was in an unknown world but a beautiful one. I opened my eyes and could not see the room I was when I took my two bong hits. My soul and body were not present in our actual reality.

Then, I was greeted by an angel. She saw how terrified I was and she held her hand out to me and did the gesture to follow her. I reached out for her hand and I could feel her presence. That’s when she pulled me in deeper. She stripped me of my emotions and I just felt empty, something I’ve never felt before. She then penetrated my soul and my subconscious and showed me who I really was as a person, showed me what I am truly meant to do in this world.

As I was facing who I was and learning about myself, I was scared because I never thought of myself that way, yet, the angel and the other beings she was with were smiling because they knew that I was learning who I was and even though I was facing some ‘not-so-pretty’ things about myself, they were happy for me. They showed me it was ok to be scared because it is all part of the process to make a change for the better.

I also had another self-realization when the angel showed me that I do a lot for others while not doing much for myself. I came to the realization that I have to sometimes put myself first. The angel and the other beings showed me love and care I have never felt before. What they showed me was true, unconditional love. They welcomed me into their world with open arms, and I welcomed the experience with open arms.

The come-down:

The journey was only 13 minutes but it felt like thousands and thousands of years. What I saw, what I experienced, what I felt was nothing like I have ever experience before. When I came back to our reality, I was in my bed covered in my blanket holding my ‘enjoy every moment’ pillow. It was as if it was a sign from the angel and beings showing they were looking after me.

I will forever be thankful for DMT and it is definitely an experience I look forward to having again. The experience could not have gone more perfect because I had the mindset of embracing whatever I would see and feel. I accepted my faith. Also, I've been writing a book for about a year now, and DMT took my writing to a whole new level. Thank you DMT!

Final thoughts:

DMT allows us to open our third-eye and experience what cannot be seen with the naked eye. The next step on my psychedelic journey is Ayahuasca. I intend to do DMT at least a week before this experience in order to fully prepare myself for what’s coming.

Exp Year: 2016ExpID: 109547
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 26 
Published: Apr 28, 2021Views: 129
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DMT (18) : Glowing Experiences (4), Entities / Beings (37), First Times (2), Alone (16)

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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
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