Citation: D. "I Was Everything And Everything Was I: An Experience with 4-AcO-DMT (exp109613)". Erowid.org. Jan 14, 2018. erowid.org/exp/109613
| T+ 1:00
Background: My past drug use has consisted of alcohol, opiates, cannabis, cocaine, and benzodiazepines. More specifically for opiates I have used Hydrocodone, Oxycodone, Codeine, and Tramadol. As for benzodiazepines, I have only used Xanax (Pink/Orange footballs and White bars).
ROA: The 20 mg of 4-AcO-DMT was put into a capsule which I then ingested orally.
Set and Setting: I decided to take my dose of 4-AcO-DMT in the pleasure of my own home. I was comforted by the idea that if something bad were to occur I would be more confident in dealing with it if I was in a familiar place or environment. I was slightly nervous and anxious to try it, but I ultimately forced myself to take it. This entire experience transpired at night. I also had a bar of Xanax set aside just in case things went awry.
T 0:00: I took my dose of 4-AcO-DMT at 10:35 PM, an hour after smoking two bowls of some pretty strong weed. I ingested it on a fairly empty stomach, I had eaten a small snack 3 hours before. I was feeling slightly nervous, but I forced myself to take it regardless of feeling uncomfortable.
T+ 0:20: I started to feel something, at first I thought the drug was taking effect but actually it was just increased feelings of nausea. I kept having to go back and forth from my room to the bathroom because I had a very strong urge to vomit. This lasted for another 20 min. During this duration of time my body load was pretty heavy, I couldn’t stand up without feeling nauseous so I just laid in bed, waiting it out. The come up was pretty nerve wracking as I had thought I had just killed myself and was going to die.
T+ 0:45: The nausea that I was feeling subsided and I could finally concentrate and focus on what was happening. The very first thing that I noticed was that my hearing had become extremely sensitive, my breaths had this depth which I had never heard or noticed before. I could hear my entire street, the exhaust of the cars passing by felt as if they were right in my driveway. Sound also had this echo effect, noise persisted longer than it should have. At this point I also took note of the visuals that were starting to manifest. They would only appear if I stared at a specific object or point in my room.
T+1:30: This is where the trip really begins. By this time my visual acuity had increased to point where colors were brighter, the walls and various objects seemed like they were breathing and were slowly moving side to side. My peripheral vision had increased as well and my visual scope had altered; it seemed like my peripheral vision curved into my field of scope. I don’t know how to accurately describe this but it seemed like the area where my eyes weren’t focused on curved into my field of vision. I normally wear glasses to fix my astigmatism but my vision was crystal clear, better than it had ever been with my glasses on. I looked at my arm and I could see every hair (I have hairy arms, and the hairs are dark which makes it harder to see individual strands), normally I would just be able to see certain hairs, and the rest would seem clumped up together in a bundle. Also, everything had this tint of blue. I turned on my laptop to access my playlist which I had created a day earlier for this experience. While I was looking at my laptop searching for my playlist, icons and album covers had this 3-d effect. It appeared as if they had popped out of the laptop screen and were floating in front of my eyes like a hologram. I put on my headphones and closed my eyes as Pink Floyd’s DSOTM started to play.
T+1:45: Closed eye visuals were fascinating, I could see geometric patterns and fractals that seemed to flow with the music. They were colorful and mesmerizing. Music had this extra depth which I was experiencing for the first time. All of the instruments and sounds were crystal clear, I have never before experienced this clarity, even while listening through some very high grade audiophile headphones. Also, time dilation had really taken effect. A couple of minutes felt as if hours had gone by, and it started to become harder to concentrate and keep my focus on a single thought. I also noticed how my tactile sensations had increased. The sense of touch was greatly amplified and I found myself touching my clothes, my pillows, my blankets, pretty much anything in my vicinity. I rubbed my blankets and pillows over my face which felt amazingly soft and wonderful.
T+2:15: I remember texting one of my friends at this point, and in the middle of texting, this wave of euphoria hits me. It was an intense feeling of happiness; the happiest I have ever felt in my life. And I told my friend this; I expressed to him everything that I was feeling and experiencing at that moment. He was confused by my barrage of messages and texted me “What do I mean”. This typo sent me into a state of introspection, and I started to think, “What is I, who am I?” I could remember my name but I had to think about it before it came to me. I then started to think of my parents and siblings and what their names were. That lead me into revisiting past memories which were extremely vivid. I could change my perspective from myself to anyone else that was present in that memory. This allowed me to visit some of my depressing memories where people had wronged me, but the ability to switch perspectives allowed me to see the intentions of those people and to understand where they were coming from. This lasted for a good 30 min.
T+3:00: I felt like masturbating because the euphoria was really intense, and I felt that an orgasm would feel indescribably amazing and temporarily increase my euphoria. I got up off of my bed and looked at the carpet. The carpet seemed to have these patterns overlaying it. They seemed holographic and as if I could step through them. I was fascinated by this and completely forgot what I was trying to do. Confused, I looked at my mirror and inched closer to see how dilated my eyes were. They looked fairly normal but as I stared more and more at my face, it seemed to morph into different versions. My face would seem elongated in one instance and shortened in another. It was at this point, I remembered what I wanted to really get out of the trip. I asked myself what I wanted to do with my life, and as I thought this, all these different scenarios played out in my head. Some of them I was familiar with as I had thought about pursuing them in my life and others I had never thought of. One moment I was an engineer working on a computer, the next I was this ancient soldier fighting in the desert. This continued to happen until it got to the last scenario which was from the perspective of a surgeon. This wave of euphoria, stronger than the one before, hit me. It was this point I came to the realization to what I truly wanted to do with my life (I’m a pre-med in college but I wasn’t really sure if that is what I truly wanted to do or what I thought I should do). I started mumbling to myself and became even more happier by what I had said to myself (I can’t remember the dialogue I was muttering to myself). I then remembered I wanted to masturbate so I grabbed the bottle of lotion and went to go do my business.
T+3:05: I picked up my cell phone and suddenly forgot what I was doing and I just stared at the phone. I looked at it in amazement and then remembered that it was a phone. I was extremely fascinated by it; it was as if I was seeing it for the first time.
T+3:10: I finally got to the porn website after losing focus countless times and forgetting what I wanted to do. As I started watching, I would look at the actress’s faces and would begin to feel sad. It was almost as if I could feel their pain. This didn’t occur every time I looked at a face but it did happen for most of the videos. This led to the realization that porn was bad and corrupt and that I shouldn’t watch it. I was turned off by this and went back to listening to music.
T+3:30: As I was listening I could feel that my breathing had slowed down to maybe 8 or 9 breaths a minute. I believe that I was in a lucid dream like state when this woman started to materialize within the closed eye visuals that I was having. She was made up of these blue and green fractals. She had eyes and a nose but no mouth. She would telepathically communicate with me. I don’t remember the dialogue between us except for one thing. She said that there wasn’t a God, but instead that everything was connected. I was everything and everything was I. I realized what she meant by that and immediately thought of the concept of karma. Karma, in its most basic definition is the same as the saying, “What goes around comes around”, and I realized that if I was everything then that meant that every other thing was basically me, so if I harm any of it, I’m really only harming myself. We conversed a little more after this epiphany, but I don’t remember what happened after we finished talking. All I remember is I suddenly opened my eyes and had intense visuals for about 5 min before they died down.
T+4:00: This is when the trip started to slow and I became to come down. I then realized that I was hungry and went to go get some food. Food tasted amazing especially sweet foods such as chocolate or fruit. I had a pretty good body high at this point. I went back to my room and watched some Netflix. This continued for another two hours.
T+6:00: I wanted to go to sleep but for some reason I just felt restless so I stayed up for another hour before drifting off.
Overall, this was a wonderful experience as it allowed me to really learn more about myself and what I wanted to do in life.
I woke up fine the next morning, I felt well rested. I had slight afterglow which was positive in nature. I felt happy and satisfied. It also taught several things, some of which I can recall but most of them I forget. After having this trip, I have stopped watching porn and haven’t laid eyes on anything remotely related to it. The introspection allowed for a deep insight into my mind and the all the stuff that I have hidden in it. Being my first psychedelic, this chemical has given me an amazing foot forward into the world of psychedelics.
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