Abuse and Reflection
by None
Citation:   None. "Abuse and Reflection: An Experience with Deschloroketamine (exp109771)". Erowid.org. Jan 6, 2017. erowid.org/exp/109771

  repeated insufflated Deschloroketamine (powder / crystals)
    repeated vaporized Deschloroketamine (powder / crystals)
    oral Deschloroketamine (capsule)
I want to post this list of events for everyone to know that you can take things too far sometimes. Honestly, I'm lucky to be alive and I will never touch Dissos again. I understand that this was my fault and I don't blame anyone but myself, but here goes. I also know the dosage I was doing were absurd, but I still wanted to share for anyone out there.

Background: Abused Dissos from age 14-18, mainly DXM, Nitrous, and ketamine. Used a lot of 2c-i and 2008 I took it everyday for over a month. Soon after that I got addicted to Heroin and nearly died numerous times. I've been clean aside from smoking pot and having a few drinks for over two years now.

Medications: None

Around 8 months ago I checked out what RCs were around. I was very interested in DCK as I had not done a disso in such a long time and the reports were pretty damn good. To me it seemed like a longer acting ketamine which was awesome and I figured why not? So, I order some here and there and I take it easy. I do some small bumps (25-30mg) after allergy testing it out and really enjoyed it. Then I started to develop addict behaviors and would be snorting it while hiding it from my wife. She caught me fucked up and was very disappointed in me, but still loved me. I stopped for a while and the newest isomer of DCK is not very suitable for snorting, but it can be vaporized very easy. I would just place a crystal on foil, use a butane lighter to get it to stick, and then start vaporizing the DCK. I kept this binge going for almost all of a month and my tolerance was reaching insane heights. I bought 56G of the current isomer of DCK and what started as me vaping 20-30mg of material turned into 100-200-300, etc... because my supply was basically unlimited.

I almost lost my job because I would come in on 200mg of DCK and be obviously intoxicated. Thankfully I realized I was messing up big time and my wife caught me again. She was so disappointed, but still loves me and just wants me to be honest with her. We are at a really good place relationship wise right now, but my DCK abuse was about to ruin a great marriage.

The last time I used DCK I was drinking very heavily (about a bottle of wine) and had already vaporized around 150mg of DCK. After I got really drunk I weighed out a crystal that was 836mg and orally took the whole crystal in gel caps. This is after me abusing DCK daily for over a month now and my tolerance is skyhigh at this point. I don't really know how to describe what happened as it was a 'hole' experience, but I felt that I was mostly asleep. I had been having very bad side effects from binging this long - flashes of light, couldn't remember anything, very slurred speech, I was becoming very manic, extremely paranoid, and for some reason I decided to push my limits.

I really can't describe the 'trip', but I realized how bad I was fucking up my life. It should have been obvious at this point, but it wasn't for me for some reason... I woke up and was surprised to even be alive after what I experienced and talked to my wife about the realizations I had. She really is amazing and I feel awful for putting her through me doing a bunch of drugs, but I did realize a lot about my self that I never had previously. I have a tendency to be lazy, procrastinate, and various personal failings. After this I disposed all the DCK I had left responsibly (I don't even know the amount I had left as I didn't want to know honestly) and have stuck to the positive changes in my life. I'm now the husband I wanted to be when my wife married me, and most importantly a person I can again respect. While it has only been a few weeks that I have been off DCK I can say confidently that I wont go down this path again in my life.

I've started talking to a therapist about my various polydrug abuse throughout my life and it has helped me a great deal.
I've started talking to a therapist about my various polydrug abuse throughout my life and it has helped me a great deal.
It is helping a lot. I know that no one forced me to do any of this. I'm lucky to have come this far in my life and I'm not a particularly religious person, but I feel that someone was looking out for me. After almost dying from heroin addiction and now this shit decision I finally feel like I am who I was meant to be.

I know what I did was dumb and most people probably won't have this issue (I hope they don't anyways), but if you are please seek some form of help. I'm honestly thankful to even be alive and feel so lucky that my life is still going in a good direction despite some very poor decisions. I do feel like I came out a better person, but maybe it is just what I needed to get a reality check. Honestly I just wanted to share this for anyone who is possibly going down the same path. Good luck to everyone and stay safe.

Exp Year: 2016ExpID: 109771
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 26
Published: Jan 6, 2017Views: 5,670
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Deschloroketamine (708) : Various (28), Relationships (44), Addiction & Habituation (10)

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