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Cleared My Mind Healed My Heart
Cacti - T. pachanoi & Syrian Rue
by jk47hm4 Explores
Citation:   jk47hm4 Explores. "Cleared My Mind Healed My Heart: An Experience with Cacti - T. pachanoi & Syrian Rue (exp109892)". Erowid.org. Sep 18, 2018. erowid.org/exp/109892

 
DOSE:
11 in oral Cacti - T. pachanoi (tea)
  1 tsp oral Syrian Rue (tea)

BODY WEIGHT: 180 lb


Ingredients ~
11 inches of San Pedro that were sitting in my garage for a week or two.
1 small teaspoon of Syrian Rue seeds. I figured adding Syrian Rue couldn't hurt.

7 inches of the San Pedro were from a 7-ribbed log, the last 4 inches from a 6-ribbed log. The 7-ribbed log was horizontally rooted, was callused and had a tip curving upward 5-inches, which I cut off to dry for planting later.

Preparation ~

I put the San Pedro and the Syrian Rue into a pot with simmering water at about noon. I kept it simmering throughout the whole experience, continuously adding water and stirring, and semi-continously sipping. This worked wonders :)

Morning before dosing I had canned green beans mixed with scrambled eggs, seasoned with taco seasoning for breakfast. Yum! I didn't alter my diet or fast from eating. I eat my veggies and my fair share of dairy and meats and a small share of snacky synthetic 'foods.' Not the healthiest diet, but not too bad either. I also take multivitamin supplements daily, and omega 3 for the health of my physical heart. Stating this just in case it somehow altered something.

Mentally before dosing, I feel happy with myself, pretty bored, and hungry for a spiritual experience as usual.
before dosing, I feel happy with myself, pretty bored, and hungry for a spiritual experience as usual.


Experience ~

12:40pm Started drinking Syrian Pedro brew.

1:05pm Just poured my 4th coffee mug of San Pedro Tea.
Feeling a face-sensation like from the onset of an alcohol buzz, but no actual alarms of psychedelic come-up. I'm still thinking this can leave me at baseline. Still got a lot more brew to drink.

1:38 feeling something, not pleasant. Slight sickness combined with 'face feeling.' I feel hungry. Contemplating eating a snack.

2:15pm Making pasta, trying to not expect a trip. Brew is extremely difficult to suck down. It actually tastes like some one else's vomit. If this works, I'll title it 'The Puke Of The Gods.' haha. Seems like a forehead sensation is creeping in.

2:29pm Nausea pleasantly subsides, until I attempt to drink more of the brew. I've had at least 5 little mugs of it at this point.
I'm happy that my pasta is done. Higher clouds and lower clouds are moving opposite directions in the sky. I don't think that is a visual. Clouds look beautiful as always.

2:40pm Still feeling different but no visuals or alarms other than the beauty of the sunny cloudy day and being happy about my pasta being done. Taking a seashell (that's the shape of my pasta) of pasta and eating it seems to relieve any nausea/anxiety I'm getting. I end up snacking on this pasta throughout the experience.

3:05pm Noticed the slightest of visuals while sitting in the bathroom. Textures ever so slightly fluctuating/gliding/breathing/shifting to the side. Almost unnoticeable, but I don't see these slight visuals sober. From the first cup back at 12:50 I noticed an increase in the 'sparkles' or 'static' that I see sober covering everything. This 'sparkle static that covers everything' normally intensifies when I smoke weed. It is being intensified after drinking a lot of the San Pedro brew for sure. This spark static plays upon the patterns of hand made blankets and table clothes and anything with a patternous texture. No noticeable 'high' or euphoria but my pupils seem to be getting slightly bigger. My eyes are a tad more sensitive to light. After leaving the bathroom, my stomach area feels relieved. With a twinge of anxiety related nausea.

3:25pm Traces of what I was just looking at seem to show through what I currently look at. Are those flecks of color that I see in those traces? Seems mildly psychedelic. Unnoticable stomach discomfort. I feel relatively normal and excited. When I relax my eyes and look at the text I am typing without focus, the lines move. In opposite directions. Something like that. They move in a way I would never see sober. This seems to be working :) I was honestly disappointed until seeing this progress of visuals.

3:40pm Started giggling at the face that was paused on my mother's tv. Some actress with a worried expression on her face.
My daughter's educational counting video HAPPENS to be counting Mushrooms as I sit next to the program.
'1, 2, 3, 4 Mushrooms!' Thought that was amusing.

4:33pm This is working. My pupils are bigger. This is not about feeling intense euphoria and seeing the room melt. No.
This is about the mind.
My thoughts are in the right place.
I can't stop thinking about the Earth.
The Earth.

At this point I had put on a Native American chant and began to pray. The singing of the old native american man was very soothing, but it made me sad that the ways of the natives are nearly dead. They lived in harmony with nature, connected to the Spirit. They know the Earth has a spirit, they know all things have a spirit, and they know there is a Creator. I have wanted to integrate their ways into my life for a long time, and this urge will never leave me. I crave the presence of the Creator.

??4:45pm??? Surprise pop-up guests at the door.

6:07 The Surprise guests just left. My mom didn't tell me her boss and 4 of her grandchildren were at the door. Haha. I handled it like a pro, even with my large pupils. Smiling non-stop was easy. Haha. I am still slowly coming up on this experience with San Pedro. I cannot tell if it leveled off or if it's still increasing.

It works. This is real. I feel like my true self, in a very good way. I feel clear headed and gentle, like how I want to be. I am really enjoying this experience.
Thoughts of how wasteful my ways of living are.
Thoughts of doing more to be kind to the only Earth we will ever have.
I'm able to gently and mindfully engage and tend to my 3 year old daughter, even with unannounced pop-up guests present.
Slight forehead euphoria and slight stomach/chest giddiness. I've been continuously brewing the San Pedro/ Syrian Rue mixture for hours, pouring in more water, taking sips, etc. That might be why I cannot tell where the plateau is.

6:42pm This is the most natural feeling of Giddiness I've ever experienced. This is beautiful and feels so normal and natural and nice. No visuals other than what's already described. Still sensitive to light. Pupils still large. No intrusive sensations or thoughts. Loving music. Loved watching the stars, holding my daughter, slowly spinning and looking straight up at the stars. Wow. I saw what looked like a map of the star's paths for more than a few seconds while spinning slowly, looking up at the stars. I couldn't believe that I had just seen that.

7:10pm Finished having a great conversation with my mom about how I'm ready to start going to school for Heating and Air Conditioning.
Very positive vibe! :)
San Pedro is mindful.
Every time I put something in the trash, I am aware that it basically just gets dumped on the earth. I mourn for the Earth, and the natives who lived in Ways that aligned with the Earth. I mourn for the Native ways being lost. I want to bring these ways back and teach my daughter these ways. I also rejoice in all the opportunities I have to be the best me that I can possibly be.
The future is infinite. I am filled with joy. My mind is clear. I am ready to take a steady path.

7:21 Drinking more brew, put on a mix of my personal favorite spacey reggae/dub songs. Chilled out atmosphere. Slight headache, may be from not hydrating at all while the guests were over earlier.

8:10pm still sipping more San Pedro brew. I notice that I'm not creeped out at all by this Psychedelic. Acid creeps me out when walking down a dark hallway. Acid sucks compared to this.
Acid creeps me out when walking down a dark hallway. Acid sucks compared to this.
Acid is not peaceful and natural, it is intrusive and synthetic. In the dark all I see is this intense 'sparkle static' and it doesn't scare me because I see it sober normally. I guess it's the universal energy that moves through all things, which is basically God-energy. That's what came to mind. However, San Pedro reminds me that it is more powerful than the bits I have seen, and to keep my mind clear. I need to be careful when looking at bright lights or candles because it leaves an after-image imprinted on my field of sight anywhere I look.

9:15pm I have one big cup of the brew left. I put the chopped san pedro (that were simmering all day) in a freezer bag to save for later. I have an intuition that brewing it again will give similar effects. Brewing and sipping throughout the day worked for me today.
Still experiencing the same pleasant effects. Pupils still big.
Afterimages, light sensitivity, introspection, peace.
One more cup to go.
I have this twinge feeling in my physical heart that is slightly uncomfortable. I'm inclined to think it has nothing to do with the Mescaline. If it does, it must be the chest muscles acting up only on my left side. Weird.

9:47pm Heart discomfort is gone. In my chest and gut, I began to feel subtle waves of 'San Pedro' coming up a little higher, if that makes sense. I have not felt anything like that until now today. It felt kind of like adrenaline, but very subtle and gradual, in the chest.
I have half of the last cup left.
I am enjoying the introspection and my native american music. I feel sort of ready if San Pedro wants to take me farther. My dad just got home from work, he'll be sleeping soon.

10:31pm Brew is long gone. Feel the same pleasant effects. Pupils still large. Had a great conversation with my dad. Still loving my music. Still feeling clear headed and introspective. This is a perfect psychedelic experience. No intrusive visuals, no intrusive thoughts, no intrusive body feelings. I truly feel like myself, as I stated before. This feels absolutely natural and normal yet extraordinary. The color flecks are almost unnoticeable, but present just enough in afterimages to affect me. This has a positive Earthy introspective vibe. I am loving this.

6:37am NEXT MORNING
No hangover. I woke up ready to take on the day. My outlook has not changed, my outlook has been strengthened. I feel totally baseline and happy. I'm excited to check out that college that does Heating and Air Conditioning to begin my next chapter in life.

Last night, after taking my 5mg melatonin at 10:40, I went to bed and was entertained by the mild visuals that do not occur sober. Visuals were too slight to describe accurately. The room was lit by the blue screen of a tv set (which I like as a giant blue night-light) The dim light allowed the Mescaline to play on the edges of the room and sort of blurred them and almost unnoticeably bent them. I had my Native American music playing at this time. At this time my body felt like I was on a thresh-hold dose of magic mushrooms. This was a great feeling. The vibe was similar to shrooms at this point too, the positive aspect.
My mind was at ease, although more active than when I'm sober going to sleep. As I closed my eyes, I noticed non-intrusive closed eye visuals. Colors of the spectrum and shifting patterns, not very bright or bold. The patterns appeared to be warped rib/stripe patterns (looked way cooler than it sounds) with the spectrum colors flowing between. I could see the closed eye visuals just enough to notice that these visuals had the colors of the spectrum, which I loved. I thought it was really cool. So mild and manageable. I can't say I was controlling it. This was a gift from God. I began to see very light visuals on the blue lit ceiling of my room as I got more sleepy. These very light visuals were based off of the color spectrum, and they appeared upon the 'sparkle static' that was covering the room. These very light visuals were reminiscent of my magic mushroom experiences, which I loved.

I had dreams about women interacting with me. Nothing sexual or even sensual. I was basically being flirted with and I was shunning it away. The dream reflected some of my insecurities as well. I thought I had overcome insecurities but I guess not. What comes to mind is that my heart needs healing from the last relationship I was in. The mother of my child is a self destructive alcoholic that could not handle even a small portion of her responsibilities. I thought I had recovered from that but I think the San Pedro was telling me that my heart needs healing when I had that 'twinge' in my heart last night. I remember, during the closed eye visuals, I was trying to focus the color spectrums (that I was seeing) into my heart for similar reasons. For healing. I believed that the color spectrum is God's energy, and I was trying to focus God's energy into my heart. Maybe the dream was telling me to lighten up, even though I'm the most positive person I know. ..but I guess I am very resentful towards boyfriend/girlfriend relationships and feel jealous when I see a happy couple with a new child. I normally tuck the jealousy behind a non-fake smile of awe at the beauty and miracle of said child and usually leave it at that.

I'm not sure what else to say. I guess I should lighten up more? There will always be something new to learn, no matter how much you think you know. This experience was positive, beautiful, non intrusive, manageable, mind/eye/heart-opening, and spiritual. I'm not sure how much of a difference the Syrian Rue made. Not sure at all. I only used a shy teaspoon of the seeds. From what I've read about Syrian Rue experiences, it may have contributed to the semi-strong afterimages I continuously saw.

What a pleasant experience.
Thank you, San Pedro.
Thank you, God.

Exp Year: 2017ExpID: 109892
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 24 
Published: Sep 18, 2018Views: 1,032
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Syrian Rue (45), Cacti - T. pachanoi (64) : Alone (16), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3)

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