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Thought Loops About Thought Loops
Citation:   Psychodelic. "Thought Loops About Thought Loops: An Experience with ETH-LAD (exp109897)". Erowid.org. Jan 31, 2017. erowid.org/exp/109897

4 hits   ETH-LAD (blotter / tab)
Summary: 400 mcg of ETH-LAD offered little additional depth compared to 300 mcg. Memory impairment and intense bodyload made it difficult to enjoy the trip.

I have previously written about my 300 mcg ETH-LAD experience, which was very positive. For the sake of experimentation, I decided to up the dose. I was interested to see if a greater dose would increase the positive effects.

0:00 Placed 4 tabs (400 mcg) of ETH-LAD in my mouth. I was not in a very good mood that day, so my mindset was not ideal. My stomach was full from a filling breakfast.

The first effects came on very fast, in perhaps half an hour. The bathroom wall started to breathe, and faint yellow and purple lines started to cover every surface. Often, the ETH-LAD open-eye visuals appear quite 'fake' and two-dimensional; they appear to be projected onto the world, while the underlying world remains normal.

The bodyload was intense; I had an uncomfortable sensation of fever throughout my whole body, my heart was beating fast, and I felt nausea coming up. I tried to just lie down and enjoy some music, but the unpleasant physical sensations were overwhelming
the unpleasant physical sensations were overwhelming

1:10 Feeling thirsty and slightly worried about my body temperature and heart rate, I decided to drink some water. I could feel the water reach my stomach, and I immediately had an urge to throw up. Out came a large portion of my breakfast. I was surprised to note that there was no unpleasant aftertaste. After throwing up, the nausea mostly subsided. By now I was feeling somewhat confused mentally, but still able to perform tasks.

1:30 (approximately) I was now quite worried about my condition, since I had not heard of anyone taking such a large dose of this research chemical. (In hindsight, my worry was probably unjustified.) I felt panic and the music suddenly sounded menacing. After a few seconds (but it felt like much longer) of sheer terror, I realized I was just tripping and that worrying would not be productive.

I tried to lie down and enjoy the music and closed-eye visuals again. This proved very difficult; after a brief time, the physical discomfort would prompt me to get up and walk around or drink water. Then I realized I wasn't enjoying myself walking around, and had already drunk sufficient water, and decided to lie down again. This happened several times in a row. At some point I realized that I was stuck in a thought loop, and that my short-term memory was extremely limited; I felt that I was no longer in control over my mind.

Not knowing how much stronger the trip was going to be, I decided that I should stay inside my room for my own safety. This triggered a brief panic again, because if my safety depended on me performing some action, then that implied a possibility of failure.

The thought loops continued, and each time I recognized it as it happened. Thus I got into a meta-thought loop, where I kept recognizing my own thought loops (and I kept recognizing that fact, ad infinitum). I could break out of the chain by forcing myself to think about something else, such as sex. This proved moderately effective, and vivid closed-eye imagery was seen. Unfortunately the pleasant moments of the trip were constantly interrupted by the intense physical discomfort, which would often lead me into another thought loop.

Time dilation was strong; at times I was desperate for the trip to end, but after what felt like a quarter of an hour, only a minute had passed. Periods of intense euphoria were alternated by periods of anguish; during the latter, the music sounded disharmonious and menacing, and my visual field became greyish. In the closed-eye visuals I encountered people and places that I knew long ago, but they would only appear for a fraction of a second; then my scrambled mind would come up with some other thought or image, and forget about the previous. At one point I saw dozens of images and accompanying thoughts pass by in an instant, like a flipbook.

I remained in this state for a few hours. At the peak I felt the trip slightly tugging at my ego, and I knew I had to let go and surrender myself. My ego never fully dissolved, but I did experience a pleasant sense of 'oneness'.

4:15 The peak of the trip was now over, and I felt comfortable leaving my room. I ate a banana, which tasted absolutely delicious. I decided to go outside, knowing that I always enjoy tripping outside more than inside on lysergamides. That instant, a wave of euphoria filled me. It struck me as remarkable how fast one's mood can change due to a changing mindset. Then I realized that this implied that my mood may also turn bad again, and this proved to be a self-fulfilling prophecy also. I decided it was no use thinking about this further, and should just distract myself by going outside.

Once outside, my mood was happy and stable; when it was safe to do so, I sprinted in short bursts, which felt amazing in my legs and also extremely euphoric mentally.

5:30 I got back inside. I enjoyed a pleasant comedown, feeling clear-headed and eager to type some notes that formed the basis of this report. When typing, I noticed that my thoughts were still accelerated; my fingers could not keep up with what I was thinking.

The next day I was slightly tired, but no lasting positive or negative effects were noted.

Retrospective: With ETH-LAD, it seems that less is more
With ETH-LAD, it seems that less is more
. A high dose has none of the mental clarity that lower doses have, and the bodyload becomes intolerable. I will not be repeating ETH-LAD at high doses. I will also remember to trip on an empty stomach from now on.

Exp Year: 2016ExpID: 109897
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jan 31, 2017Views: 3,497
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ETH-LAD (688) : Unknown Context (20), General (1)

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