DOSE: T+ 0:00	28 mg	rectal	3-MEO-PCE	(capsule)
T+ 2:00	20 mg	oral	Pharms - Baclofen
T+ 2:00	2 mg		Etizolam

BODY WEIGHT:

200 lb

I received a small sample of a relatively novel substance to try, 3-MeO-PCE, and plugged (rectal administration in a gelatin capsule). I’m a tall, 200lb male with a very steady and calm temperament. I have a great job in science/tech, a loving family, an amazing group of friends and girlfriend, and overall extremely good health and fitness.

I have experience with every common recreational substance and most of the uncommon ones- my full list of recreational chemicals that I’ve put in my brain is over 80. I’m extremely careful in my substance use, and am a resource to my community on risk reduction practices and usage guidelines. I volunteer as a psychedelic counselor/helper at festivals and events to help people through difficult experiences (and I needed to draw upon my full mental toolkit in this scenario, which has never happened before to me personally).

Despite my breadth of use, I don’t use often, so I have no tolerance except to stimulants as a consequence of my prescribed medication. I have a sleep disorder and use armodafinil/adderall to help, and take those almost every workday.

Set is a weekend “Resistance!” party with talks early in the evening and DJs playing until late. Trump recently came to power in the USA, and this was an event to focus on what we can do to help. The crowd was made almost entirely of my good friends and acquaintances. The venue was atypical, a shitty community center with a poor sound system/acoustics. Setting is positive- my girlfriend was gone for the weekend, so I figured I would try a new chemical to decide if I want to acquire more and introduce friends to it.

0:00 After the talks were done, I rectally self-administered one gelatin capsule containing 28mg of 3-MeO-PCE. The aim was to achieve moderate dissociation that makes social interactions more pleasing and dancing more enjoyable, more being inhabited by the music.

0:20 Maybe some light hints of dissociation already? My visual perception feels slightly altered, depth and perspective and field of vision in particular, but just the barest amount. Turns out there is a weird performance happening on stage before the DJs get to do their thing.

0:32 The weird performance is done, and as soon as the sound is turned off, I am launched into moderate dissociation and a profound sense of feeling unsettled. This isn’t what I was expecting, and I tell this to my friends that I’m laying with on a bunch of squishy pillows and mattresses. They take my description in stride- I try a lot of weird drugs and in unusual combinations.

0:35 Time is moving very slowly. Conscious of how my attitude will shape this experience, I’m careful not to describe my state of mind to my friends using negative descriptions or imagery, but I can’t help but feel that this was a mistake, and a mistake that is just getting started.

0:45 I’m having a lot of trouble, mentally. While I recognize that I am only potentially ambulatory under my own power, a chorus of mania has risen within my thoughts and within my chest- a buzzing energy so loud it is drowning out my ability to control my state of mind in any way. I continue to reassure myself that I am among friends, comfortable, safe, and will ride out this unexpectedly intense experience.

0:45-1:15 I tell anyone who tries to interact with me that I’m not particularly verbal and overwhelmed in my current state of “probably too much chemical.” I spend this time doing breathing exercises, focusing on people’s voices, and attempting to describe my experience without ascribing any value judgement to it. My large muscle groups are spasming and vibrating- everyone is extremely impressed at how my quadriceps are vibrating the whole group of reclining people and cushions. People touch my hands and feel how my fingers and hands are buzzing slightly. This is an extremely unusual experience for me, and doesn’t make me feel better.

1:20 I make the mistake of closing my eyes. There is some dark internal imagery that I’m curious about, but more importantly, the world seems to violently spin away from me in a profoundly jarring way whenever I close my eyes for more than a second or two. I resolve to not let my curiosity get the better of me.

1:30 It’s not helping that the music is shitty AND the sound system is terrible. I try to focus on criticizing all the aspects of the party that are sub-par with my friends, and we laugh about how spoiled we are and how lucky we are. I try to inhabit this gratitude, but it’s still extremely difficult to maintain positive and coherent thoughts over the manic energy that is racing through my brain and pounding in my chest. I am legitimately worried about temporary or lasting psychosis, among my jumbled thoughts. My heartrate feels faster than usual, but not excessively so. I’m still reclining on soft things.

1:40 I’m encouraging a friend to tell me about her currently life and daily struggles/triumphs. It’s helpful to focus on her voice and her story…the mania feels like it may be starting to fade. I continue breathing exercises, re-starting whenever I have forgotten to continue every so often. My large leg muscles, shoulder muscles, and lower arm/hands are still spasming lightly, off and on, but the intensity has diminished. I find that I’m enjoying hitting myself with a closed fist in the leg- it feels very cathartic for whatever reason. I tell my friends that I know it’s not socially appropriate for me to keep hitting myself as I’m doing it repeatedly, and they laugh. I notice that I’m hitting hard enough to give bruises later, certainly harder than I’ve hit anyone else ever, so I do stop.

1:45 My vision is becoming less dizzying. The music is still terrible, so I decide to try and stand up and move around under my own power, which is successful. Standing and walking is too full of stimuli to be pleasant, and I feel the mania rising and falling within my perception, but I walk to the bathroom, and quickly use it. Interestingly, being alone in a one person bathroom stall is more disconcerting than being in a room full of people (likely because most of those people were friends or at least acquaintances).

1:50 I am standing and participating, haltingly, in conversations. My friends seem very sympathetic. I notice that I am much more aware of the glances of strangers as I walk carefully around the party. They don’t feel invasive- I’m just curious about why they’re looking at me. Myself and the two friends I came with head to the dancefloor to try and see if it sounds any better.

1:55 The music isn’t terrible- the sound quality is actually better on the dancefloor, and not horrifically loud. We dance a little bit- I smile and laugh and enjoy my awkwardness. I feel like a stiff robot dancing, and my friends laugh with me.

2:00 We decide the music is terrible enough to leave. That’s fine with me. They call a vehicle, and drop me off nearby at my house. The overwhelming tide of frenetic buzzing energy has calmed down, but I still feel a pit of absolute mania inside of my stomach, so I take 20mg of baclofen (muscle relaxant) to erase the mania and 2mg of etizolam (benzodiazepine analogue) to calm my nerves and push me towards sleep (and to help guard against any NMDA receptor antagonist neurotoxicity). Water isn’t pleasant, but I drink.

2:20 After a blessedly short 20 minutes of chatting online with my friends, the mania and psychotic chattering within my brain has largely calmed itself down, and I go to bed (with success).

9:00 I wake up in something of a haze from the baclofen. I’ve promised my friends I’ll be at “brunch” at a bar nearby, so I haul myself into the shower and thing very fuzzy thoughts. The shower helps a lot, and I microwave some leftover chorizo quesadillas, with only minor questions about the wisdom of a large greasy spicy breakfast before I devour it all.

9:30 One irish coffee, some sips of bloody mary, and a sour beer later…and I feel significantly more human than before.

9:30-18:00 I go on a daytime hike in the hills with other friends. I feel mostly recovered from the baclofen fuzziness, and am in generally a great mood from the dissociative afterglow.

In summary: I read Bluelight forums about dosing this chemical, and my dose was much too high- the people reporting on the forum about 30mg doses being rewarding likely had nontrivial dissociative tolerances. When I take it again, I will start off with a sensible 10mg and titrate very carefully from there.

This chemical feels significantly more manic than ~20mg doses of 3-MeO-PCP. I felt like the psychosis could have temporarily overwhelmed me, although this likely isn’t true or relevant, it was a very intense experience and I recommend starting your dose in the single digits or teens at the most.

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 109936
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 28
Published: Jan 30, 2017	Views: 6,958
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3-MEO-PCE (536) : Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2), Large Party (54)