Citation: John M. "I Was in the Womb, Just Being: An Experience with Changa (Smoked MAOI & DMT) (exp109972)". Erowid.org. Oct 25, 2017. erowid.org/exp/109972
First Time Experiencing Any Sort of DMT
My experience started with the eerie but wonderful sourcing of the changa on November 1, the eve of All Soul’s Day, which I found to be fitting. I ate well, during the day and settled in in my warm, nicely but simply furnished den- complete with a few small works by Alex Grey, and a few of my houseplants nearby. I do not take any prescription drugs or any herbs or supplements- outside of high doses of Omega 3’s. Mentally I was in a good state and I felt positive and ready for whatever lay ahead. I put on a great, spacey jam on my headset and took a moment to give thanks. I lit an incense and placed it on a glass table, facing me, about 6 feet away.
I then took the first hit, slowly, and felt the room swooning a bit. I immediately felt sensations that I have never felt before, followed by that thought of ‘I cannot wait to do this again’- and this after just one hit. I then took the second and things got ‘heavier’ in the sense that everything in my surroundings had more weight and substance to them. Everything took on a distinct characteristic of defining itself- in a sense separating itself from the other things in the room. For example, the floor made me well aware of the floor, as did the tables, the walls, etc. Colors started to become much more saturated and I felt sheer joy at how alive my ‘normal’, everyday surroundings suddenly became. It was as if every solitary item in my field of vision was trying to show me that it, too, had a life of it’s own and that I was to awaken to that fact.
I think I heard Terence McKenna say, somewhere in the back of my head ‘take the third hit’, and I obliged. I exhaled very slowly and the swooning was now on full throttle. It took some effort to put the pipe down on the end table that was next to me, but I did, successfully. I stared ahead and the most brilliant color blue (almost electric blue) appeared out of nowhere, floating in the space between me and the wall behind the table that held the incense. I marveled at this sight and almost cried at the beauty and brilliance of the color. I felt like this was the first time that I had ever seen ‘color’. Then a rich, ancient gold hue took over and it felt like actual gold, and with Egyptian significance. This floating mass of beautifully shining gold was simply gorgeous and other-worldly, yet very familiar and certainly welcome.
I glanced up at the table from behind where these colors were emerging from and saw the smoke from the incense moving in stop-frame motion, as opposed to the billowing, floating, normal path of smoke. Distinct layers of smoke jutted on top of one another in a ‘boom, boom, boom’ pattern, one right after the other- building on top of each other. I think I laughed out loud at this point…The glass-topped table that held the incense suddenly became wrapped in thick layers of the most astounding crystal jewels in a zooming motion.
It goes without saying, here, that I have never seen or imagined anything like this. Nothing. Ever… Off to my right, on the blank, light-blue painted wall, I could see that in the very center of the wall was a small, but very specific fractal to which I had the suspicion that if I wanted to, I could dive into it, but I was not ready for that. The intensity of the experience seemed to really take off at this point and I could hear a humming at what seemed like the bottom of my ear canal- somewhat off in the distance, but yet still in my body and range of hearing. It was as if I was being invited to take a dive into the ‘really’ great unknown but I did not feel prepared to ‘break through’ and I wanted to ‘just’ get my feet wet, so-to-speak, so when the intensity of the room got very great, I asked it to ‘dial it back just a bit’. At this point I felt like I had to sort of check-in with myself to make sure I was still on Earth and in my den. I looked to my right, in the direction of a philodendron next to me, and it practically smashed me in the face. I was startled and checked my pulse. It was racing a bit, but I still felt very much ‘here’ and my brain and body were functioning as normally as could be.
I believe that the substance responded to my request for gentle-ness at this point because everything in my field of vision turned in to a cartoon. Cartoon me, cartoon doorway, cartoon hallway, cartoon plants, cartoon everything. This was a lot of fun and I was tickled beyond belief. I noticed, though, that behind the door that led to my den, which was open, I could see a dark shadow that was inviting me to peer behind it. I politely declined.
At this point I felt what I can only describe as ‘fabrics’ being laid upon me, one by one- starting at my waist and slowly moving up my chest. They were the most beautifully textured fabrics that I have ever seen. Their patterns were very simple and not ‘psychedelic’ in the classic sense, but simply gorgeously woven fabric pieces of the most astounding, simple- but vibrant- colors. Pinks, fuchsias, light oranges, and some yellows. The layering of fabrics continued up my torso and they then were covering my face, gently- but not to blind me- I could still see through them.
I then saw a few of these gorgeous, perfect little, ‘bugs’ zooming around my field of vision over my left eye. They seemed to be about 2 inches long, each, and they were moving around in what seemed like my brain very purposefully- as if they were repairing something that needed working on. I was amazed by these little creatures and I felt grateful to them for some reason so I tried kissing them. When I did, they scattered. It seemed like they did not want to be recognized or known. Later on, I came to believe that these were the ‘doctor sitas’ or ‘little doctors’ that are commonly experienced in Ayahuasca encounters.
Now I sat, peering through the layers of fabrics to which then sort of interlocked and formed what looked like human tissue, stretched thinly- thinly enough to be able to clearly see through…I then looked around and saw tiny veins and blood vessels and such. I said aloud ‘what….is this?’ To which I heard a very distinct voice ‘say’ “I am showing you your birth”.
I then realized that I was in the womb- peering ahead towards a point of light from within the amniotic fluid. I have to say here that for this brief period of time, while in the womb, I have never, ever felt safer or more at peace in my entire life. I was in the womb, just being. I was not waiting to be born, I was not anticipating anything, I had no worries, no thoughts, no concerns, no nothing. I just was, and it was the most gorgeous, natural, and most peaceful feeling that I could ever imagine. I have never felt such profound simplicity of being. I would say that I felt entirely ‘safe’ but that would imply that there was something to be safe from, which there was not. It was perfection.
Words cannot do this experience justice- to say the least. It was the most profound experience of my life and I have experienced quite a bit before that- or so I thought. It has been 4 months since and I am looking forward to the next time. I believe that this is not a ‘drug’, but a natural sacrament, in a sense, and I am going to treat it as such. Upon reflection I believe that it is the ultimate sacrament.
I also believe that this experience somehow reinforced in me my true, loving, natural being and that nature itself wants me to be the best that I can be and it is coaxing me along to be that person. I feel much more inclined to follow my heart and not money or material things. And, my connection with nature since this experience, feels much more real and substantial. I feel much more aware of plants than ever and I feel like I am just beginning to be able to hear them, which I have always longed to do. Thank you for reading.
p.s.- I was very much fascinated that this came to me during the Halloween/Day of the Dead/All Souls Day period and I thought that being that this is called ‘the spirit molecule’, sometimes, that I might have a ‘death’ experience, but rather I feel like I had a ‘birthing’ experience. I gave me that ‘you just never know’ feeling in spades.
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