Citation: Psychodelic. "Reconstructing Reality: An Experience with 4-AcO-DMT (exp110032)". Erowid.org. Feb 26, 2019. erowid.org/exp/110032
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Had a wonderful time on 73 mg of 4-aco-dmt fumarate. Intense euphoria and music appreciation; excellent mind-body connection. I temporarily unlearned everything I knew, and my appreciation of dancing increased.
A note on dosage
My goal was to take a dose equivalent to 40 mg of psilocin. The compound 4-aco-dmt is commonly sold as the fumarate salt. Using the relative molecular weights of psilocin (4-ho-dmt) and 4-aco-dmt fumarate, I determined that I should take about 70 mg of 4-aco-dmt fumarate.
I fasted the day before. The day of the trip, I started by praying and meditating for about an hour, followed by a short run. I preloaded with a capsule of ginger and a capsule of chili powder. I weighed out doses of 58 mg and 15 mg 4-aco-dmt fumarate, a fine off-white powder.
0:00 It is around 10 am and it is a beautiful sunny day. I administer the 58 mg dose sublingually, together with a small amount of sucralose (sweetener). The sucralose does an admirable job of masking the vile taste of the 4-aco. I go for a walk. After 13 minutes, I swallow.
0:26 I come back home. I am at a (+) now. I administer the 15 mg dose orally and lie down with some music on.
0:30 I scribble in my notebook: 'Wonderful tingly feeling in body'. I am in a positive mindset and eager for what is to come.
0:34 The electric sensation in my body is very intense now, to the point of being unpleasant. The sensation ebbs and flows - one moment it is strongest in my legs, the next in my cheeks. I am sweaty and quite anxious; I feel like I am about to enter a very deep experience, and my mind is resisting. I am video calling a trip sitter to make myself feel a bit safer.
I have a somewhat disturbing sensation of everything happening twice. In particular, sounds echo. I experience some closed-eye visuals, but my mind cannot relax enough to enjoy them. I am aware that the anxiety is a natural reaction to the drug, and do not panic. I try to watch a nature documentary to distract myself, but I cannot understand anything, and the colors are off. It is difficult to follow a train of thought and perform simple actions.
1:00 I feel an urge to throw up, which does not end up happening. I decide to take a shower. After undressing, I admire my body in the mirror. I spontaneously start dancing, and realize that I look very attractive. I see the best possible version of myself in the mirror - the word that goes through my mind is 'super-human'. My skin appears beautifully tanned, my muscles are moving elegantly, and my enormous pupils are full of life.
There is still some anxiety present, but it is not overwhelming.
Showering is a strange experience. The shower knob is an unfamiliar object, and I do not consciously know how to operate it. My arm turns the knob out of habit, but the arm shrinks, turns gray, and does not appear to belong to me. This is a bit unsettling, but I realize I am just tripping, and my arm turns back to normal.
I hear my trip sitter's music playing in the background, and despite the poor sound quality and my inability to understand the lyrics, the sounds are extremely pleasing to my ear.
Coming out of the shower, I reflect on my experience of seeing a 'better me' in the mirror.
I now feel very confident and determined to make something out of my life.
I sit on my bed and stare at the blank wall, with some psybient music of my own playing, which I had selected before the trip. Beautiful, complex, dynamic fractals appear, but the visuals are not particularly immersive. The music, on the other hand, is extraordinary; it is occassionally punctuated by Terence McKenna's wisdom, which now sounds very profound. I massage my legs and torso; it feels as if the hands are not mine, and I am being touched by a benevolent entity. This is an extremely euphoric sensation.
1:30 My ecstasy reaches a climax and I emit a yell out of gratefulness and joy. Time is strongly distorted and I seem to yell for a long time without running out of breath. I now feel the happiest I have ever felt, as well as very energetic, and I decide to go for a run. While putting on my pants, my body's motions appear to be extremely accelerated, like watching a video on 4x speed.
I spontaneously start dancing to the music, which connects to my body in a way I had never deemed possible. I am amazed at my sick moves; my bodily control is greatly enhanced. I dance my way to the fridge and eat some greek yoghurt, which tastes wonderful. I have little appetite, however, and soon I put the yoghurt back.
After a while, I finally go outside. At first I am a bit nauseous and worried that I might throw up outside, but this proves not to be the case.
Time is heavily dilated and I completely lose track of how long anything is taking. I find this fascinating, not bothersome. As I pick up speed, it feels as if my legs are springs, and my body is being pushed forward by force outside me. Running is effortless and very enjoyable. It feels like my body is slightly lagging behind, as if my eyes are 5 cm in front of my head.
I start to think about the illegality of psychedelics, but I realize I have forgotten what a 'government' is. The concept of hierarchy - like a government dictating what you can and cannot do - is incomprehensible. I am starting to understand why psychedelics are associated with counterculture. I have forgotten everything I have ever learned, and cultural norms are no longer meaningful. I have to reconstruct reality from the ground up.
Visuals are not prominent, but colors are greatly enhanced when I focus on them.
2:00 The peak already seems to be lessening in intensity; this is first noticable in the music, which is now less angelic than before, though still enhanced.
I try to wrap my head around concepts such as politics, religion, birth and the passage of time, science, equations, art. Everything is unfamiliar and I have only the vaguest sense of 'self'. Despite this, I don't feel any anxiety at all. I try to reach my emotions, but I realize that I don't have any - even the euphoria that was present earlier has evaporated. There is only consciousness.
2:24 I come back home, and urgently need to urinate, which feels wonderful and seems to take minutes.
I take tiny bite from a piece of dark chocolate; the flavor is extremely intense and I can feel the delicious chocolate coating the inside of my mouth.
The next half an hour I mostly spend listening to music, questioning everything, and generally being intrigued. There is also quite a bit of sensual energy. The idea that I have a body which is somehow connected to my consciousness is mysterious and fascinating. I enjoy abstract, elegantly flowing closed-eye visuals.
2:55 I scribble: 'Everything seems so foreign'. This is a good summary of the mental state I was in for most of the trip.
The next hour or so, I very gradually come back to reality. Music still has enhanced clarity - better than live music.
4:40 I am dancing in my chair while writing some notes for this trip - I can still feel the music guiding my motions. I am starting to yawn a lot now, and I feel rather mentally exhausted. Over the course of the next few hours, I mostly rest on my bed, as I come down to baseline.
The next day, I notice an improved mind-muscle connection at the gym, and a desire to dance whenever I listened to music.
What do I take away from this trip? I suppose I realized that many of the things we take for granted are rather extraordinary and worthy of appreciation, or artificial and worthy of critical examination. In addition, I appreciate my body more and my love for dancing has been reinvigorated. It seems that sublingual administration increased the intensity and reduced the duration compared to oral. The experience was very different from mushrooms; my body felt much lighter and my mind clearer.
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