A Serious Hedonism
From Bluelight Collection
Citation: Kaleida. "A Serious Hedonism: An Experience with AL-LAD (exp110121)". Erowid.org. Mar 25, 2017. erowid.org/exp/110121
|(blotter / tab)
|Alcohol - Beer/Wine
|Alcohol - Beer/Wine
|Alcohol - Beer/Wine
Lately I've been in a really bad headspace, due to a lot of stresses building up in life. I've mentioned this in my last couple of trip reports as well because I've been hoping that my more recent trips would have an antidepressant effect against these stresses, and they have to some extent, but they haven't been as enduring as I had hoped. I believe that this likely comes to down to the fact that the sources of stress in my life are largely situational (a rocky and money-sucking current living situation, getting sick and having to deal with some resurfacing chronic health conditions, etc.) as opposed to being related to how I view the world right now or anything like that, so tripping helps but it doesn't really do anything to fix the problems ultimately, unlike times in the past where for instance I've been helped by psychedelics with personal insecurities or fears that were keeping me depressed. So, I decided that this time around I wanted to give that antidepressant effect as much of a boost as I possibly could, and I figured that meant having a trip that was not only deep and meaningful but also incredibly fun and beautiful.
At first I considered having my second experience with ETH-LAD, but I eventually decided against it due to the body load I experienced when I was on it for my first time, I was afraid that increasing the dose now would make it worse to the point that it would rob the experience of that overall positive vibe I was looking for. I toyed with the idea of taking some tryptamines or even amphetamines, but finally settled on AL-LAD due to the fact that I was still wanting something that felt strong and worthwhile, but at the same time was just fun, easygoing, and recreational, as I'd heard AL-LAD described as before. About that, let me just say that while this trip was certainly more easygoing than LSD, it was by no means just a fun trip.... I would never again take this drug while looking for a purely recreational trip, this is a full-blown, respect-demanding psychedelic
! But, we'll get back to that soon.
I would never again take this drug while looking for a purely recreational trip, this is a full-blown, respect-demanding psychedelic
My previous experience with psychedelics includes DMT, MET, MiPT, DiPT, DALT, Psilocybe cubensis, 4-HO-MET, 4-HO-DET, 4-HO-MPT, 4-HO-EPT, 4-HO-DPT, 4-HO-MiPT, 4-HO-DiPT, 4-HO-McPT, 4-AcO-DMT, 4-AcO-MET, 4-AcO-DET, 4-AcO-DALT, 5-HO-DMT, 5-MeO-MiPT, 5-MeO-DALT, Ipomoea tricolor, Argyreia nervosa, LSD, ETH-LAD, 2C-B, 2C-I, DOC, and MDMA. My most recent trip was a little under two months before this on 100 mg of 4-HO-EPT.
T-0:30 - This was shortly after I had woken up and I had a bowl of cereal so that I wouldn't be dosing on an empty stomach. I am a little nervous about tripping now because I have spent the last couple weeks feeling kind of sick and had some stomach issues during the night as well, but I'm determined to do it because I've been trying to for weeks and something always comes up. I finish eating and let the meal sink in along with my anticipation for what is to come, and soon I am finally ready to dive into the psychedelic realm once more.
T+0:00 - 300 ug AL-LAD dosed as blotters, initially by holding them under my tongue. While keeping them there I also go about preparing a bowl of cannabis and balloon of nitrous oxide each to be used as a later time, and at T+0:10 I chew up the blotters well and swallow them with some water and a peanut butter cracker.
T+0:15 - Still fearing any potential body load that might result from the AL-LAD, I decided to get on a conveniently available stationary exercise bike while listening to some calming trance music. This is a strategy I've been thinking about employing lately when I'm coming up on psychedelics that I know have heavy body loads that could be alleviated by keeping my body in motion but are too heavily psychedelic for me to want to just charge off into the outside world while coming up on them, like perhaps ETH-LAD or DOC at higher doses than I've taken so far. I wasn't sure whether or not to expect any such thing from AL-LAD, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to give it a shot. I really can't say how much of a difference it might have made since I've never taken AL-LAD without doing it, but I will say that I felt pretty good after spending about twenty minutes on there. When I got off I still felt pretty much sober and didn't have any visuals starting to appear or anything, but I did feel lighter like there was a bit of a dreamy rush when I first got up.
T+0:40 - At this point I added ice to the bong I had loaded the bowl of cannabis in before and took it with me as I got in the shower. As I usually do at such a time I went back and forth between doing the typical shower routine and taking a big hit, getting a good few in before I finally stepped out. I don't recall anything particularly psychedelic happening during this time in the shower, still no visuals starting to set in like they often have in the past when I started smoking at this time, but I could tell that I was getting quite high indeed.
T+0:55 - As I turned off the water it suddenly became apparent to me just how good I still felt without it. I was tingly all over, buzzing like I was almost approaching an out of body sort of state, and filled with the desire to stretch up the sky and just let a huge smile spread across my face. Yeah, I was feeling good. Still, despite this I couldn't help noticing that this come up was remarkably light, very little fanfare in the way of mental disorientation or visual fireworks or anything of the sort, just a rising vibrational energy and a touch of the euphoric white light. In this way I found it highly similar to other bulky indoles likes 4-HO-EPT and 4-HO-DPT, and though I do very much enjoy the way those molecules make me feel as well and find their unique flavor of psychedelic trip quite satisfying in its own way, I was a little let down as I had been expecting something a bit more in-my-face and flashy from what I had heard about AL-LAD, and that's just not what I generally get from those other indoles while feeling this level of high. So, I felt just a little down for the moment, but I was still determined to enjoy myself.
T+1:07 - Feeling like not much had been changing for the last few minutes, I took another big hit off the bong and then decided to lie down with the balloon of nitrous oxide I had prepared, with eight chargers in it specifically. I put on some Electric Light Orchestra and let myself go into it, and though there still wasn't much in the way of hallucinations to grab on to for vivid memories, I do recall it being incredibly euphoric and even a bit sexual. About five minutes later as I was coming out of it I remember even feeling like my body felt like it had come very close to orgasm, but hadn't quite gone all the way. I also had a good few of the typical nitrous laughs, which was also nice because I honestly haven't been laughing nearly as much as I need to lately.
T+1:27 - My mouth had a weird and not so great taste in it, so I had a mint which helped a bit, and I made a note of how I was feeling at this time. I had gotten to a point where I felt very amped up and trippy, like I could tell that I was definitely in a speedy and strongly psychedelic kind of state, but there still just wasn't much emotional content to it nor visual hallucinations to keep me interested, so I still just wasn't sure how I felt about it. I knew that I felt that it at least had potential, but so far I felt that it definitely wasn't like the greatest thing ever, just nice.
And then... everything changed. Suddenly, out of nowhere the visual texture of the carpet below me seems to pull back into several different previously intertwined layers that slide and slither around each other in ways that hint at a deeper organic machinery or a greater source of visionary potential hidden just beneath the surface of our everyday perception. The effect is similar overall to how I have also felt on propyl and allyl tryptamines and not surprisingly felt particularly alike 4-AcO-DALT though with less of an animalistic vibe, but at the same time the visual geometry, despite still being less colorful or crisp than I have gotten on some psychedelics, went far beyond any others that have put me into this same kind of visual state, it was like reality was practically coming unglued around me. Doubts about this being a fully hallucinogenic trip, you have been dashed.... This has now rocketed itself up from being questionably visual at all to being unquestionably one of the most visual trips I've ever had.
T+1:43 - I was tripping so hard now that I decided to finish off the last of my bowl from before and load myself another balloon of eight nitrous chargers. I unfortunately still can't remember a whole lot about what happened in it, but this time that's not because of the lack of content but rather just because I was getting hit with the psychedelic state so hard that that peak is fuzzy in my memory now. What I do recall is that the euphoria I had been experiencing before had also increased along with the visuals and was now reaching a point where it was pushing into a manic delirium, and there was a very recognizable sign along with it that I always get where I start to misinterpret myself as TV characters from whatever shows I happen to be most into at the time of the trip. Generally who the character is and what emotions they are displaying that I relate to depend on the state of mind and general emotional level the trip has me at, and the more euphoric and lucid it is the more it tends to be the ones I look up to the most and find to have traits like high confidence or just a strong personality in general, which I feel helps me recognize and reinforce those desirable traits in myself. Based on the characters I was connecting to in this particular trip, I would say that this AL-LAD seems like one of the best psychedelics for producing this kind of effect yet, really only comparing to 4-HO-MPT and DOC in just how confident it made me feel in myself. And I know that this played a really big role in the nitrous experience and how I was feeling at this point in trip especially, with lots of interesting half daydream half hallucination scenarios starting to develop, but again, sadly I just cannot remember much about them now.
T+2:10 - I decided to take a bath at this point, and as I was first letting the hot water fill up around me was actually the point at which I started coming down just enough to feel a bit more grounded and remember more of what happened from this point on. Interestingly, the first thing I recall vividly is having the sudden realization that my erotic daydreams were so enhanced in my current state of mind that they were pushing me to the point of spontaneous orgasms, not physical but entirely there in terms of the release. I realized that I was moaning almost constantly and felt like I was just about to burst with pleasure. I also very specifically recall at this point realizing that I was getting visionary hallucinations that seemed like they could surpass LSD in depth in some ways, in such a way that I have only ever felt on ETH-LAD before, but I also felt that, unlike ETH-LAD, they were too weak compared to LSD to really be worth trying to bring out, and that it was really going to be other aspects of the visuals instead, like the geometric visuals or white light visions, that stood out to me about AL-LAD instead.
I know that I have read before that people feel that AL-LAD and ETH-LAD are both more visual than LSD but that ETH-LAD has LSD-style visuals whereas AL-LAD is a bit more unique and different. Based on my one experience with each of these lysergamide research chemicals so far I would have to agree with this sentiment, and I would have to say that I feel that I still prefer the LSD and ETH-LAD way by a good margin, but this is not to say that AL-LAD is not impressive by any means. These are all incredibly powerful molecules that deserve respect and they definitely all still have strong similarities anyway despite their differences, and I was absolutely delighted to be tripping just as hard as on it as I was at this point.
T+3:15 - My mood shifted many times during the bath as I attempted to get as comfortable as possible, though I was so stimulated that this was probably impossible, it was more like I was just jumping from one temporarily captivating thought to the next. I experimented with several different kinds of music and found that it was all enjoyable but not all that enhanced, and at this point in the trip I felt that it was more of a distraction than a necessity, so I eventually turned it off and just started enjoying how incredible I felt. Finally I ended up getting myself into a sexy fantasy and bringing myself to orgasm, which came at around this time stamp. It was extreme.... Like, incredible. Not only was it a deliciously deep, rushing, explosively euphoric orgasm as I've experienced so many times before on LSD and other similarly erotic molecules, but it also mixed so well with my current state of mind that it simultaneously caused me to start laughing my ass off, to the point that I probably looked like I was losing my mind as my body just released any and all tensions. In that moment, everything was about as perfect as it could be.
In that moment, everything was about as perfect as it could be.
T+3:25 - I got out of the bath, dried off, moved my way out into the living room, and just sat on the couch for a moment appreciating my current state. I was definitely tripping hard, much harder than I had honestly even expected to at my most optimistic point when planning out this dose, so I was pretty happy about that. I did notice after sitting around a bit that I was getting some body load though, not as bad as I recall from ETH-LAD (perhaps due to riding the bike?) but it was definitely there, my body and legs in particular felt tight and like I needed to remain moving if I really wanted to be comfortable. Luckily, there was also a good amount of energy to it and I found myself pacing around a lot so that did combat that a bit.
T+3:40 - I'm not sure when I started another bowl of cannabis but I finished it at this point, and then I decided to load up my last eight nitrous chargers and do one more balloon while watching a music video. Honestly, I can't even remember what the video was.... I don't think it ultimately ended up being that important to me. What I do know is that the balloon made my body feel better again temporarily, and as soon as I came back with a boost to my visuals, euphoria, and energy I got up and starting dancing to the music.
T+4:12 - I was starting to actually think about the day again at this point, so I stopped the music and just let myself relax for a moment. It was around noon and I felt that I should eat something for lunch, though I didn't really have anything that sounded too appetizing ready to eat. Because I felt that I needed something in my stomach and was still too tripped out to make entirely intelligent decisions I ended up just sticking a couple slices of leftover pizza I was iffy about in the microwave and shoving them down my throat, not really even attempting to enjoy them and not really doing so anyway when I did think about it. I found myself wishing I had something healthier to eat, as even though I know my junk food addicted brain wouldn't find it as immediately rewarding it would at least not make me feel like crap at the same time like the pizza does. This ended up getting me lost on quite a few thought tangents about my health and what I was or wasn't doing about it for most of the rest of the experience as well.
For the next couple or hours the trip wasn't too eventful, though it was still going strong. It had been raining on and off during the day and really started picking up around this time so I spent some time sitting outside on the patio with a bong bowl in hand and just enjoying the many different sensory pleasures of nature, for as long as I could be out there and still be comfortable. When I came back inside I ended up pacing around more and just thinking quite a lot about life, and in particular noticing the ways in which my self-progress has fallen woefully behind compared to other things that I'm working on, and just reassessing my priorities about life and myself in general. This was a very deeply cognitive phase of the trip, and one of the main reasons I would actually not take AL-LAD again for a purely recreational purpose as well.... This was no fun trip, this was in every way equal to the cognitive impact of LSD, just tweaked a bit so that the emotional vibe is a bit different and it translates into different thoughts and observations, but the shockingly intellectual aspect of the trip I am so familiar with on LSD is there in full, and more so than any tryptamine I've ever taken. This was the kind of trip that could change my entire life, and it had clearly become intent on showing me that in thankfully as seemingly forgiving of a way as possible. Notably, however, despite not being all about the fun, another particularly significant aspect of this phase of the trip is that I found myself bursting out laughing at almost anything that could be conceived of as even slightly funny, if that. There is an extreme humor in this drug, that's for sure.... Considering how much I was in need of the amazing medicinal power of laughter before this, this was certainly one of the most enjoyable effects of the drug as well!
T+6:12 - As I finish yet another bowl of cannabis, I decide that once again I would like to take a bath, but this time I'm also going to bring with me a glass of red wine. I came to this decision based on the fact that some of the euphoria of the peak of the trip had started to fade away and had left me with what I am increasingly coming to accept is my psychedelic comedown, which I didn't ever use to get, but now is a very predictable consequence following a very strongly euphoric and active trip. The only particularly uncomfortable symptom that makes me call it a comedown instead of just an afterglow is a headache that can get pretty bad for me and unfortunately is enhanced by cannabis along with the positive aspects of the trip, but at this point I was both feeling that kick in and also still feeling the body tightness and unease from before not having completely worn off, so I was really looking for way to smooth things out for a while. I figured that the relaxing hot water of the bath combined with the sedating and loosening effects of the alcohol could be just the trick to care of that, so I dove right into it.
T+7:30 - I got out of the bath and was feeling pretty good at this point, still definitely energized and euphoric but like I was finally reaching more of a post-trip place than just being in the extended comedown, so I poured myself another glass of wine and put on some That '70s Show to relax some more. After a couple episodes I ended up ordering some Mediterranean food for dinner and had myself a third glass of wine, after which I called it quits on that. I finished eating and loaded myself another bowl of cannabis about T+9:00, and I proceeded to finish both it and that third glass over the course of the next hour.
T+11:10 - Feeling that I'm finally now about fully down and without much else to do to use my still focused mind I started writing this trip report, and finished up to this exact point at about T+13:30, after which I loaded myself another bowl of cannabis.
It is now the day after the trip and I feel just a little bit off, but the way in which I feel off makes me suspect that it might be mainly due to the wine. Alcohol isn't generally something I've tried to mix with psychedelics in the past, but I have been using it a bit more frequently to control body loads as of late, and I have to say that I actually thought it did go pretty well with the tail end of the AL-LAD trip, and I may consider using it this way again. However, next time I will probably try a maximum of two glasses of wine rather than three and see how I feel the next day.
Overall, I would have to say that AL-LAD is a crazy drug and I was very impressed by it. I found it to combine some of the best qualities of my favorite drugs so far, such as the intense laughter and orgasmic euphoria of 4-HO-MET and 4-HO-MPT, the deeply satisfying body buzz of 4-HO-EPT, and some of the manic stimulation of LSD, all coming together to make for what may have been the most euphoric drug I've ever taken, in one sense. I would say, for instance, that MiPT might have been more euphoric for me than AL-LAD in terms of being very relaxing and blissful, but AL-LAD was definitely the winner in terms of feeling like I'm just going to explode with hedonistic pleasure, like it's so good that it's almost too much and you can't even sit still.
The only thing I think I would say it didn't have over these tryptamines, other than just those different types of highs serving different emotional roles, is that it nowhere near as visual as 4-HO-MET, 4-HO-MPT, or MiPT for me, and it also wasn't as visual as LSD. At least, not in the way I like the most.... I must say that the sensory distortions of AL-LAD were extreme, I would say perhaps comparable only to 5-MeO-MiPT (which, despite this apparently not being a common reaction, is also one of the most visual drugs for me), but they were just that: distortions. It's very much like 4-HO-MiPT for me, where the distortions are nearly blinding and the patterns are intense, but there's very little in the way of structured hallucination. There are no faces, vines, spiders, and lizards bursting out of the neon patterns on the walls, there are none of the pencil-thin crisp cartoons of LSD and even ETH-LAD for me on just my 100 ug dose so far, there are just distortions and dissociative visions. This is actually very much in line with what I've come to expect from what I feel is the shared tryptamine-lysergamide psychedelic structure-activity relationship, so I'm not all that shocked by it, but at the same time I feel that this may prevent it from reaching the very top of my list of favorites, similarly to how I currently feel about 4-HO-DPT. Nonetheless, I still feel that this is a highly worthwhile molecule and will absolutely be experimenting with it again, though only when I feel that the time is truly right for it, just like LSD.
Every time I take a lysergamide my appreciation for this incredible class of molecules only deepens, we really should feel lucky to have had even temporary access to these beautiful psychedelics.
|Exp Year: 2017
|Age at time of experience: 26
|Published: Mar 25, 2017
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|AL-LAD (603) : Hangover / Days After (46), Sex Discussion (14), Combinations (3), General (1), Alone (16)
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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.
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