DOSE: T+ 0:00	5 hits	buccal	1P-LSD	(blotter / tab)
T+ 0:30		smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

210 lb

Trip Report

T + 00:00: Substance ingested: 500mg/ 5 tabs of 1P-LSD. Decided to do something I’ve been meaning a long time and write a trip report. The experiences that follow are all subjectively mine and not intended to prove or disprove anything. I have a history with psychedelics that has gone both up and down, and am now at a place in my life where I am ready to admit there are benefits beyond the veil I’ve yet to approach. A lot of this will mean abandoning my previous ideas about how things work, why things have happened thus or this. This report is only intended as a means of conveying what an experience of this manner is like for those who are curious about dipping their own toe into the pool of cosmic reflection. It was scary at first, but fear is something I know goes away when you face it; like the Boos in Mario.

To usher myself peacefully into a world of altered consciousness, I’ll be sitting in my living room playing Nuclear Throne and noting the sensations and details, until my headvoice inclines me to do something different. Nuclear Throne is a PC video game that involves mutated gun-slinging creatures and peak reflex challenges. One day I’ll be good at it. 5 tabs are between my lower lip and gums and prove no bother. Will be smoking some pot later to help relax as well.

T + 00:30: Tabs swallowed. Feeling a little light-headed, no major effects so far. Nuclear Throne runs going decent, playing as Eyes for some reason. Lost the urge to play after the fifth run—going to smoke some pot and listen to the questions in my head for a little bit. Also feel inclined to note the last trip I had was a function to drive me closer to the people already in my life who loved me. Always worth talking to someone who knows and supports you, no matter what any self-doubt might say. It made my weekend a blast.

Gonna practice some Melee, as I’ve done in the past when tripping to get insight to the little physics box going on in there. Super Smash Brothers is definitely a gift from this dimension to its inhabitants. Smoke this morning is a mixture of something Time-Warpy sounding and some Purple Candy budder. Enough to punch a hole in the armour of any cruiser-class star vessel.

T: +00:55: Still haven’t been told to go meditate, so I won’t. Melee is an endless paradise anyway. Eventually this all comes apart to belief, and that comes apart to atoms—but everyone on the internet knows that already, I have another voice telling me. Well, if yr belief train is anything like mine, by this far it’s gotten you into Buddhism, Taoism, Tarot, I-Ching, and all mystic/mythic stuff in general. I am pantheistic, in that if there’s a belief to partake in, I’m part of that team. But as far as treating people goes, that’s where we all learn and grow as we grow up. Handy phrase, that.

Go hugs yr moms. Just in case you haven’t recently. Or call them. I’m sure they’d appreciate a call.

I feel inclined to say I’m ‘high’ by this point, in that my head feels floaty and it’s more difficult than usual to perform routine motor functions. Melee is still a thing tho. It’s shinier than normal, I guess? We’ll see.

T: +01:08: Decided to stop playing video games at this point. Typing words feels more difficult than a simple task should feel. Put on some cool glitch-hop to bounce me up to the moon. Feeling refreshed and ardent. That’s definitely a word. I looked it up. Also still hungry for some reason. Aren’t psychedelics supposed to be an appetite suppressant? They say ‘no’ and ‘where did you get that idea, was it from the talking hot-dog video’? Maybe it was. It was at least from something from around that era anyway. I hate cereal and an orange today and it was good. I’m being told to warm up some root vegetables and have some Coca=Cola before going to lay down and meditate. Okay, Universe. You seem like you’re in it today. Root vegetables include beets, kabocha, parsnips, turnips, onions, and a few other things I can’t remember the names of. It’s delicious, is the point, and vegetarian, which is me lately. All of the interesting facts I found about Coca Cola were of the marketing variety, which I guess says I’m so post-modern I’m advertising for a company I don’t even endorse. That’s just the substance of reality, folks—a place where brand names mean a substance object or phenomenon. Kleenex. Band-aids. Spinal Tap. Etc.

During eating food I like to watch Rap Battles, so I get to do that if I explain about them. Imagine insult poetry. Imagine you have to tell the guy next to you he’s a jerk but it has to rhyme. For me it’s difficult to muster up the bad attitude to tell anyone they’re bad at anything, but there’s a secret spin to be put on all of this—the infinite joke that humanity is playing on itself in the first place. For that reason I guess it will become easier to all laugh about in the future.

Watched Ogmios vs. Matter and finished off the vegetables w/ some yogurt. Gonna lay down. We’ll see what’s up.

T: +03:00: Feel illustrated on the larger principles of existence given to me by my brain. This is what’s come out so far: anything you can do which permits you continued harmonious existence is in, anything that causes active cognitive or emotional dissonance is out. Yes that sounds like a redundant phrase. It is there so that any human being who is feeling super bad feelings they are not in control of to get help. Because if you are feeling bad on a regular basis from day to day it needs to get better. It needs to get better because we are all part of the same team in this and We on team serious or team sad when it gets to it. There is homelessness and mental illness and I have a bannerflag in both those races.

If you’re feeling bad, have it out with whoever you can grab. Then have a time to feel good. It will move on with all of us counting.

T: +04:00: Thus far our report is on singularity from all angles, and it poses a number of questions. If humans dislike existence so much, why have they bothered to get themselves one? All this matter about feeling the way they think someone else would like them to feel=-=good thing there’s no judges panel made up somewhere.

T: +05:00: Physical sensations are what remains when a body is sure it wants to be conscious but it hasn’t got consciousness all figured out yet. Imagine a partnership that went on long before you had a human body—at a molecular level, this is that partnership figured out. It has a shape and name and will take the form of whoever you see next to you talking. That person is first and foremost yr mom and next most whoever helps her. What we are finding is that often our mom does not have a team of people behind her. This we feel is unjust. It also means we have not had a team of people behind us at all times. Why does ‘mental illness’ mean ‘bad thing’ here, when Kurt Vonnegut had so much time to write about it? The chemicals in yr brain do not always paint a picture that is pleasant, nor cohesive with everyone else’s version of reality. What is more important is listening to the particles of that fabric than running out to stitch over them or clear-cut the whole fabric store and lot too.

In my perfect version of reality we get more time to talk about this. But right now I can say words about it and I’m not going to judge myself or have anyone else judge me so it feels good to open a vein. What is everyone else waiting for here at the top of eternity? I feel like I realized it a million years ago and we’re all just waiting to say it: come out and get it over with. If you figure out that time has stopped, you can move on with yr life, and once you know that you want to sustain bliss for every other lifeform then you can have a sense of peace in yr being. It must be the struggle to recognize that everyone is on the same team, or we wouldn’t be part of the struggle together. Otherwise matter would blur instantly with matter next to it, cats no place in the dictionary next to dogs as much as the salad they become a part of with letters and other bits on paper.

Where bad things are allowed to go on we also get good things. But if I have ever been on team bad I’m on team good. So how do I work out how to help the people? That’s a different matter than being on any team all aside.

If we got this far and Cain and Abel was just a good story that would be something, but it was a tale that rung in my mind and sure as anything much it makes sense: don’t abandon the brother that you came in with. And what’s a brother to us surer than the foot we came out of, if that makes sense? What I mean to say is, Cain had one foot in the door, but his mother was the one supervising his bathing ritual. So she had more knowledge than him in the whole circumstance of things. And the thing she most has in mind is “Get this little squirmy thing to a place of warmth and happiness”. That’s what got us technology and most of enterprise so far. But what about the bits that don’t work? Those bits that feel like shame and uck and drudgery? Surely those should be worked against, for our mom’s sake?

I can see all the fuss, for what I’ve got as comfort I had to steal from a supermarket a few month’s time ago, and now I can only classify as a bed which sometimes has the sheets on the right way. But it’s what I made my own, a place in this world that is at least human shaped. Does anyone else have one of those?

T: +06:30: My mom came home and it’s time to give the cats treats. I think I forgot what a trip report was. Maybe this is one. Do other people who write trip reports know what post-modern is? Maybe this is that. You decide.

10/10 Experience. See you guys some other Time.

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 110125
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: 29
Published: Mar 15, 2017	Views: 1,953
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