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A Blank Memory
Nitrous Oxide
by Proton42
Citation:   Proton42. "A Blank Memory: An Experience with Nitrous Oxide (exp110166)". Erowid.org. Oct 17, 2017. erowid.org/exp/110166

 
DOSE:
  inhaled Nitrous Oxide (gas)
    inhaled Oxygen (gas)


Iíve had the luck to experience laughing gas in combination with oxygen because Iím terrified of needles and whenever I get my blood taken, Iím given laughing gas.

The following report is a summary of most of my trips, because most of them are very similar if not identical.

It starts out with the familiar smell and taste of the gas, and instantly the trip begins 'mentally', as in I instantly think 'oh boy here we go again'. Then a familiar sound starts, kind of the sound of the machine itself, only stuttering and distorted. Soon after this my body starts going numb, with a small tingling sensation in the fingers before losing the sense of touch completely.

For some reason, in the come up of the trip, I always have to focus on breathing, well it's not so much have to as it is I do it subconsciously. As in I kind of forget what normal breathing is like and I start thinking 'Huh how many seconds is normal in between breaths, wouldn't want the nurses to worry.' After this stage I get what I'm assuming is ego death, I forget what has happened and it feels as if I've skipped hours of the trip, but in reality it's only been a couple minutes. This feeling is accompanied by an incredible sense of deja-vu.

Every time I've gotten laughing gas, this stage is always the same. It feels as if what's happening isn't real and has already happened. Think of it as life being a tape and I'm reliving it.

Every movement the nurses make and the feelings are always the same and it feels like I can predict them, but when I try to I can't. As in I'll think 'alright I know exactly what will happen next' but when I try to think of what will happen next, it's a blank memory. That's the only thing I can describe it as, a blank memory. I say this because it feels like what's happening really has happened before, only I can't remember it.

I would say at the start of the trip, where I'm getting confused on how to breathe normally and where I should look to appear 'normal' could be described as the mind trying to cling onto whatever piece of reality it can, but when you finally let go and let yourself slip into the grasp of the gas, everything feels normal. Although, I wouldn't say normal, because there's no distinguishing between what's real and what's not. It's almost like being in a dream, no matter what happens you simply think 'oh that's normal'.

As my body starts going numb, I also start losing motor control. At the very beginning I can still move my arms and fingers, but very soon my arms start feeling completely weightless and nonexistent, so I simply lay them down not because they feel heavy but because it feels like they simply don't exist.

There's also a clear dissociation to the trip. In the ego death stage, I start questioning reality and I can't remember who I am or what's real and what's not. For me, there's an incredible time distortion as well. I'll almost snap back into reality and think 'wow, how long was I gone? It felt like hours' but in reality it's only been a few minutes. It's very confusing and can be almost frightening if I let it get to me.

As for the analgesic properties of the gas, I still feel pain, it's just not painful. Let me explain. Take my experiences for example, where they insert a needle. I can still feel the sensation of the alcohol pad being swiped across my skin, and I feel the needle really puncture the skin. It's almost as if it's happening in slow motion, the needle starts pushing the skin before finally breaking through it. Now this may sound awful, but all this is without the actual sensation of pain. You simply feel it.

In my experiences, there's not much visual activity as there is lack of it. I start seeing blurry and such, but at the peak of the experience, my vision almost has a 'black out' and switches from seeing the external world to seeing my subconscious, as in I start seeing whatever I'm thinking.

The memory of the trip starts fading quickly as soon as I'm coming down, but not in the sense that it disappears, more so in the way that it's hidden in the subconscious. This also explains the strong deja-vu feeling, it's as if when the gas starts taking effect, all the memories come back at once and hard, and I instantly start remembering the effects.

The last time I had laughing gas, I put on music to see if it would be any different, and it was but at the same time it wasn't. The music wouldn't really sound any different, but as I started tripping out more and slipping out of reality, my mind simply stopped processing the music, as in I would stop hearing it because I just wasn't focusing on it.

Continuing on the auditory hallucinations, the simplest way to describe it is 'echoey'. I say this because for me, sound is distorted and stuttering, and echoes all around my brain.

I completely agree with the effect of frame rate suppression, because all the effects feel very laggy, almost like reality is passing by almost in real time, only the brain is a second behind.

I can always tell when they switch from nitrous to oxygen, because the oh-so-familiar taste of the gas fades and becomes a very familiar, boring taste of oxygen. Now I'm aware oxygen has no taste, but when directly compared to nitrous like this, it does. It's kind of as if tasteless had a taste. It's not really describable.

As soon as they switch from nitrous to oxygen, my mind instantly somewhat snaps back into reality, and I start remembering who I am, where I am and what's going on. My sense of touch also starts coming back, slowly but surely.

The dissociative feeling can be described like this: My body slowly but surely starts disappearing before the only thing that is left is my mind. It's as if my entire body simply exists in my mind.

For me, it's one of the most interesting drugs, for the sole reason that it's not psychedelic strictly speaking, but the trip feels so intense and can only be, in my opinion, described as psychedelic.

Exp Year: 2017ExpID: 110166
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Oct 17, 2017Views: 2,805
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Nitrous Oxide (40) : Medical Use (47), Retrospective / Summary (11), Combinations (3), Hospital (36)

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