Citation: Old Mate. "Getting the Spiritual Ball Rolling: An Experience with LSD (exp110244)". Erowid.org. May 19, 2017. erowid.org/exp/110244
This is a report of two different trips I had within the past month and a half which have catapulted my spiritual journey. But first, a bit of history about my psychedelic use and spiritual interest.
I have tried real LSD 4 times in total with the first being at the age of 17 and being quite irrelevant or uneventful. My interest increased though and weeks after this first experience I was ready to try it again. My friend got some from a guy he met once and being naive little kids we didn't think twice about it. I also thought that because I took 1 tab the first time I would be OK taking 2.5 tabs the second time... Long story short it was NOT LSD and I ended up blacking out for about 6 hours, destroying things in my friend's house which resulted in my friends calling an ambulance on me and I woke up hours later in a hospital bed, still seeing violent hallucinations. This experience scarred me and swore me off psychedelics for a long time.
So it was about 4 years later I decided I would try it again, this time testing my substance before use and only taking 1 tab as a precaution. This trip also was uneventful, but made me see that real LSD has potential mental benefits if taken the right way. In the city I live in LSD is quite popular as a recreational drug so it isn't so hard to find but I have never wanted to take them recreationally since my horrific experience, as I think that is using them for the wrong purpose. They are very powerful tools that can be used for personal growth and should be shown the utmost respect.
I have always been a person interested with spirituality, consciousness and the unknown. I read books about it, watch plenty of YouTube videos and *attempt* to talk to my friends about it, most of whom shrug it off as nonsense. It's hard to put my finger on why I have an interest in these things, as I grew up in a pretty spiritually devoid household, but nonetheless it's always given me something to think about. I have travelled through parts of Asia, learning about Buddhism, meditation etc.
So now onto the first trip:
I told no one about this trip, except one friend who I trusted completely. He has never tried psychedelics but we have had deep conversations about life on many occasions and one of the things I like most about him is that he never judges people, especially his friends, and I knew that's the kind of presence I wanted while I was tripping. So I asked if he would tripsit me while I tried a higher dose, in my own house with no other distractions, and he agreed. We'll call him J from now on.
The tabs I got I was told they were 125ug each so I decided to take 1.5 total after testing them to make sure it was real LSD. So J stayed at my house the night before, since we planned to get up early to make the most of the day. We walked down to the beach and it was a beautiful morning. I dropped the tabs at about 7:20am and we went walking around the cliffs near the beach while I was coming up. I started to feel it at about 8:00 and we decided to sit on the cliffs and watch the ocean as I started to feel it more and more. I felt uneasy and couldn't appreciate my surroundings so I asked J to take us home. We started to walk and I was feeling very sick and couldn't walk properly. I had to stop and throw up, despite not eating anything that morning, but it felt cleansing and gave me the confidence to continue on. It was about a 20 minute walk back to my house and I was feeling self-conscious about being in public in this state. It was probably about 9:00 when we got home and we got some music playing which was really starting to induce the peak of the trip. First off we played some tame impala, which was bringing on some huge waves of euphoria, then on to childish gambino (awaken my love, holy shit!!) which induced my first real spiritual, life-changing experience.
Every word he was saying was telling me a story about the nature of the universe, the collective consciousness and how every being on this Earth is connected. It was as if I was being given a code to decipher and once I did I would be blessed with neverending abundance. I was trying to decipher the code while trying to explain to J what was happening in my head. Then I realised that this moment was what my whole life had been leading up to and my current task was just to go into my mind and replace the negative with the positive, which is what I started to do. We continued to play music and although J was completely confused as to what was happening, he knew that it was positive and all he had to do was keep playing good music. I started to think about the unity of every being on Earth and how there are people who already know about this and are working towards making more people aware and raising the vibrational frequency of the Earth. I knew that I would have to do something with my life that would contribute to this.
I also learned a lesson about good and bad. Everything in life needs to be in balance, which means that there has to be bad to make the good worth it. The way I learned this felt like torture. Because we were playing music from YouTube, there would be ads after every song, and I would absolutely flip out when I heard these ads. I felt like they were burying themself into my subconscious without me giving them permission. But after they were skipped the good would come and I would feel euphoria again. On a side note I now can't watch any advertisements as it reminds me that I am just feeding garbage into my mind, which is actually a good thing that I realised this.
I hadn't really had any intense visual hallucinations during this trip, it was almost all just the mental aspects and I was OK with this. But there was one point where J said he was going to go to the shops and I was left alone, so I played tame impala again, and the song 'Let it happen' was playing while I as laying on the floor staring at the ceiling. This was the first and most intense visual hallucination I've ever had. While the song was playing I could see the ceiling and walls of the room starting to open up like a box and behind it I could see the fabric of the universe and some giant, stick-man like figures using machinery in the background, as if these were the beings that were keeping the world going behind the scenes. I thought I was going to take off into space the more let go (let it happen). But just as I thought I was going to take off, J returned into the room and I was snapped back into reality. After this I started to come down and unfortunately these epiphanies were starting to leave me. The rest of the day I was quite down for some reason, despite most of the trip being very positive. The month following this trip was really interesting, as I realised how many lessons I learnt from the experience, but they were only slowly coming to me, which also reinforces my theory of not taking psychedelics too often as you need time to integrate what you've learned into your daily life.
OK! Now the second trip:
This trip was incredibly important to my spiritual growth, though not as powerful as the first trip. So I decided I would take 1 tab, alone, in my room as I thought I could handle this. I had read a lot of reports prior to both these trips and there was one in particular I read which really interested me. It was about the combination of LSD and Yoga to relieve emotional stress. So after my first trip I started doing Yoga daily, with almost no experience of it prior. It was about a month in between both trips, with a lot more Yoga experience under my belt. So I set up my room, closing my blinds, lighting a candle, yoga mat ready, music ready, notebook ready. I was attempting to make this as ritualistic as possible and showing the substance respect and trust. I wrote down on paper what I wanted to learn. I wanted to relieve emotional tension built up in my body. So I sat there, meditating for the first half an hour or so, as the effects started to come on. I then layed on my bed for a bit listening to music, and once I felt I was peaking I moved back to the Yoga mat.
I attempted my usual routine, finding it a lot harder than usual. I remembered about the report I read and tried to recreate this. It was successful to a very minor degree, but I kept having the feeling that I was trying to copy someones success and that it would be different for me. So I kept trying for hours, just sitting in my room, meditating, doing yoga and listening to music. It was not very successful so once I felt I had come down enough I decided to go for a walk. I walked around the beach but felt like people were looking at me funny (maybe they weren't) so I just came home again, accepting defeat. I had a shower and teared up quite heavily, letting out a lot of emotion. I felt like this was one of the lowest moments in my life. Then I went back into my room and decided I'd watch some YouTube videos.
That's when it hit me again. I clicked on the first video I saw, almost automatically. It was a video by the channel Infinite Waters, a guy who talks about positivity, spirituality, and the unity of the universe (sound familiar?). Suddenly the epiphany that I had on the first trip came flooding back into my mind and my mind was blown. It felt like this moment was destined to happen and this was where I needed to be right then and there. I felt like the guy in the video was talking to me directly through the screen. I started to scan the internet for the next 2 hours or so confirming everything I had learned in my epiphany. My life made sense again for only the 2nd time ever. And the most exciting part of this experience was that I was a lot more sober than the first time I had this feeling. The first one was so powerful that once I came down I had basically forgotten it all. But this time was different, I was much more sober and could fully grasp the concept in 2 minds, the fading LSD mind and my regular sober mind. It has been about a week since this second trip and I haven't forgotten anything. My life has been insanely different since just 1 week ago, and I am exploring more spiritual practices every single day.
Now the reason I've titled this 'Getting the spiritual ball rolling' is because I believe these were the exact experiences I needed to begin my spiritual journey. I believe it's possible to achieve this state without drugs, but it takes a lot of work, time and practice. I feel like my life has changed course solely because of these 2 experiences, and although I plan to take psychedelics again in the future, there is no rush and I want to be able to generate this amount of energy and positivity sober eventually.
I plan to travel to India, Nepal and Tibet in the next months to learn about true meditation and spirituality, and to try and improve the world we all live in, as best as I can. I believe now that spirituality is the answer to the problems the world faces right now, but it takes a lot of effort and practice, and a lot of people don't see any benefits in it. Psychedelics are a catalyst in improving this world. They MUST be legalised, for research purposes so we can start healing this broken planet we call home, one individual at a time.
Thanks for reading,
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