Citation: PepperoniPlayboy. "Connection Between Mind and Body: An Experience with MDMA (exp110300)". Erowid.org. Apr 24, 2018. erowid.org/exp/110300
||(powder / crystals)
I had this experience on MDMA that exponentially changed my life for the better merely three days ago. To start, let me give you all my backstory.
When I was five, I was diagnosed with a spinal cord tumor. It was wrapped in and around my spine on a level of T5-T7, for those who want the specifics. Basically, I underwent surgery in order to remove the tumor, which paralyzed me from the waist down as well as damaged the nerves, meaning that after the surgery I wasnít able to walk or even feel my legs at all. During the process of recovery, I regained partial movement through intense physical and occupational therapy, but sensation still stayed dull. Overtime I went from being in a wheelchair, then walker, and then crutches, but then had to get another surgery to remove the tumor again when I was 9, and had to go through the process of recovery once again. And here I am now, 19 years old, and I can say without a doubt that after this experience on MDMA that I can now feel my legs again, and I fully believe this was due to this psychoactive.
I have quite a history of experimenting with psychoactives, mostly pot, adderall and vyvanse (for studying), various psychedelics including LSD and Psilocybin in high school, but having reached college I donít do much of anything these days. Iíve had 2-3 experiences with MDMA, but only with minimal doses that didnít have much of an effect on me in the long run. I decided to hang up the phone long ago, realizing after a rocky trip that I was bordering the line between expansionism and escapism.
I went on a camping trip with my friends last weekend, and had no desire to alter my state of consciousness for this trip, even though a good majority of my peers were planning on tripping on acid and shrooms. However, I did bring a molly rock with me for this trip that I picked up at a festival the week prior, but with the intention of distributing it amongst my friends. I went to the campsite during the evening, around 8 PM or so, when most of my friends got there in the morning and already set up the tents and food. Immediately I felt extremely welcome and got an amazing vibe from the current setting, as everyone was happy, joking around, eating fruit and other great foods. Despite my original intention to stay sober for this trip, my instincts after feeling out my surroundings, both internally and externally told me otherwise. The moment felt so right that it told me that taking the MDMA was meant to be for this exact time. Thus, I took the rock like a pill with some water, sat down on a blanket next to my one of my friends in front of a roaring fire and waited to see what the night had to offer me.
0-30 minutes: Iím still sitting by the fire, and immediately I feel absolutely amazing. Iím able to pick up on the energy of all my friends around me, watching them walk around the fire, some dancing and laughing, with tracers following their every movement. Someone threw another log in the fire and it becomes a roar of warmth, and captured my attention and completely threw off my sense of time for what felt like eternity. I specifically remember a Ď77 live version of Danciní In The Street was playing (Iím a diehard deadhead) and I was rendered speechless. I had no thoughts or any sort of introspections, but instead was so immersed by the music and environment that I felt no need to use words or talk to my friends. Little did I know what was going to happen to me that night.
30 minutes-1 hour: My friends and I had moved from the campfire setting to a beach volleyball area, where we decided to lay under the sand and look at the stars. I hit my peak immediately when my feet stepped on the sand, as a massive surge of energy went into my spine and resonated throughout my entire body, including my lower half, and caused me to fall down from the shock. My friends around me said ďYo are you good dude?Ē, given that they had no idea how I was feeling and merely just saw me falling down. I said, ďYes, I think so...Ē and was feeling new sensations that I knew were familiar to me yet at the same time were also brand new. I was wondering, ďWhat the hell am I feeling? Where is this coming from?Ē I looked down at my feet, moving them around in the sand, and was immediately in disbelief, realizing that these sensations were coming from my legs. I stood up, and began to walk around in the sand, thinking ďIs this real?? Or is this just really good mdma??Ē To test it out, I ran over to a grassy area to see if I could distinguish the difference between the two textures, and to my surprise I could. Walking on sand felt like walking on a cloud, and walking on the grass brought me back to a newfound connection with nature that I havenít felt since I was very young. All the while I was doing this without the aid of crutches, and this just registered to me now, and brought me even higher than I feel most people have ever been before. ďIím walking!! I can feel my legs!!Ē
ďIím walking!! I can feel my legs!!Ē
I was shouting to my friends as they stood there in disbelief as I began to walk everywhere, with a childlike sense of wonder that I havenít felt since, well, before my first battle with the tumor. It was such a beautiful moment, not only with myself but with all of my friends, we were all crying tears of joy over the unexpected moment of beauty that had occurred.
1-6 hours: The rest of the night mostly consisted of me walking and running around, feeling the blessing of being able to feel my legs again and hanging out with all of my loving friends and being able to share this moment with them was more to ask for. To my surprise, I had no comedown at all, which is what I was anticipating, but I think this is due to a naturally found state of ecstasy from merely the events that took place.
Put yourself in my shoes, as someone who hasnít been able to feel his legs for 14 years, to a wonderful experience on mdma where, looking back on it, I like to think that, since itís a psychoactive that directly affects the central nervous system, fired up neurons connected to my spine that were numb for a very long time. I think that it created a mind to body connection that hasnít been there for 14 years, and is still there now and is there to stay.
Iím in tears writing about this now, still in disbelief that something like this happened, and immediately felt a need to write about it and spread it to all of you, not only for the advancement of the psychedelic movement but for the future of spinal cord injuries. I will admit, my legs are in a great deal of pain (but I am also extremely grateful to even be able to feel this pain), given that I didnít use my crutches at all that night and strained my body after not being able to walk without them for such a long time.
Despite my excitement for this miraculous discovery, I have to constantly remind myself to take it easy and go slow into my recovery, and I plan on hitting the treadmill, stretching my legs, and doing whatever I can to make it so Iíll be able to walk someday.
As lucky as I am, I will also admit that taking the mdma was foolish, as I had no idea whether or not it was legitimate prior to taking it. I know this story sounds miraculous, uplifting, and very much unbelievable, but I can tell you all with absolute certainty that itís nothing but the truth.
Nothing but love for all of you, safe journeys.
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