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Rebirth
LSD
Citation:   MattV. "Rebirth: An Experience with LSD (exp110308)". Erowid.org. Jun 11, 2025. erowid.org/exp/110308

 
DOSE:
3 hits   LSD (blotter / tab)
BODY WEIGHT: 140 lb
Lysergic acid diethylamide is indeed a very powerful psychedelic. Had I known what to expect, this experience would have ended a whole lot differently. Of course, it is impossible to know what is going to happen unless you've experienced it before. From what I got out of it, the setting was not right at all, and that turned the course of events for my trip in a whole different direction.

My good friend, who I will refer to as J, had taken LSD before, and tried to explain his trip in the best way he could, but of course that wasn't enough to get any sort of understand out of what can happen. But I didn't know that. I didn't know an LSD trip goes far beyond imagination. I had wanted to try it with him the first few times he did it, but I was refrained by my girlfriend at the time. Maybe close to a year later, On September 3, 2016, J told me that the LSD was back in town, and I told him I was down to try it. It was maybe around 6:00 PM when I rode out with him to pick up the product, and we had to pick up another dude, Niq, who knew the guy with the stuff. We got the blotter sheet and headed to Niq's house where we spoke to him for a bit and he offered to cut it up for us. Me and J took our hits right then and there. Niq told us that it came from crystal LSD, I'm not sure what specifically though, and he told us that a single hit would be more than enough. Well, we both took three. The moment it touched my tongue, it almost seemed to fizzle a bit. With the tabs in our mouth, we left. The rest was for my brother and sister.

We got to my house 10-15 minutes later, and my friend claimed he could begin to feel its effects already, but I did not. When we got there, we went inside the house to give my older brother and sister their LSD, then went back outside. My sister tagged along, but my older brother stayed and played on his computer in his room. Back outside, we sat on the tailgate of my sisters truck and waited for it to kick in fully. Maybe another 10 minutes later, me and my friend began to laugh hysterically. That lasted for maybe 5 minutes, and then me, him, and my sister went to sit in the grass in the middle of my back yard, which is 2 acres. The effects started to come stronger, I began to feel a nice peace over my body, and I decided to stand up for some reason and analyzed my surroundings. Things began to have green and purple outlines, and they began to distort slightly. Everyone else was talking amongst themselves down on the ground, and I was up in my own world.

At one point I looked down at the ground, covered in dead leaves. The leaves began to transform into roaches, and started crawling towards me at a decent pace, but I was able to look away and shake it off. We all then walked over to the front of the house, which is actually the side, but is treated as the front for some reason. The actual front door never gets used. It was dark by this time, and we have a light pole in our yard that shimmers a dim orange light on its near surroundings. But I noticed that the light was now giving things a golden glow, and the otherwise plain leaves hanging from a nearby tree looked like golden grape vines of some sort, and they were really quite beautiful. I continued to glance at them throughout the night.

At some point, deeper things came to me. I began thinking about life, and the reality I was witnessing before my eyes and that I was a part of, that I never even could have imagined before. I started getting frustrated, because my little brother knew we were on LSD, but he had no idea what I was seeing. It cannot be put into words. I simply didn't feel like he should be around it. I kept telling him to leave, and threatened to beat him up, although I wasn't actually serious, I just wanted to get him away. The others thought I was serious though. I finally gave up but I continued to feel this 'tension', that my younger brother wasn't supposed to be there. My brother was trying to purposely trip us out, putting a laundry basket on his head and running around, and other things of the sort. It worked, but I'm not sure if it was in the way he intended it to.

I began to get so enraged that I lost my mind. I was told afterwards that I was speaking utter nonsense. It didn't seem like nonsense at the time, but looking back I was practically literally temporarily insane. It continued from there, but even though I was speaking incoherently, I was coherent in my own mind. At one point, I had realized the truth to everything, and I thought that because of this, I would be stuck in the state I was in forever. I wasn't necessarily frightened by this, I was just kind wondering how it would work out. But soon after, the trip seemed to end very abruptly, almost instantly. Though, it was an illusion. 'So that was it?' I thought to myself aloud. My sister soon told J that she wanted to leave. So they left, and I went inside, feeling sober as any day. I went back to my room and it all began to come back.

I began to feel kind of bad, so I thought maybe a shower would help. I got in the shower for what felt like seconds. I got out and wrapped myself in a towel and went right back to my room. For some reason, I felt like my mom was coming to beat me, I felt her getting closer and closer, and this feeling of extreme, extreme fear engulfed me. Because of this, I didn't want to take time to put on clothes, so I ran to my bed as quickly as I could. I layed there for a while in the dark, and at some point thought I was dead. I could see myself lying on the ground beside my bed, I think in a pool of blood. I definitely saw ambulance lights and heard ambulances rushing my way. I heard my family talking about my death in the other room. I didn't wonder why nobody was checking on me if I was dead. I just thought there was no need to, they already knew I was dead. All of that went away some time after that, and I was kind of in a void, out of my body which was still lying on the bed.

I began thinking about the important relationships I had with people, and wondered if they would care if I were gone. I answered that question myself. It was a no. I saw their lives getting better in the future, as if some burden was lifted off of them. It made me glad that they were happier. Then I came back to my body, and I felt those people getting irritated of my existence. I felt a different tension now, between myself and everyone else. It was as if nobody could enjoy themselves if I was around, so I kept trying to let death engulf me once more. Every time I came close, death let go.
I came back to my body, and I felt those people getting irritated of my existence. I felt a different tension now, between myself and everyone else. It was as if nobody could enjoy themselves if I was around, so I kept trying to let death engulf me once more. Every time I came close, death let go.
I was getting irritated by this and I thought I had escaped my own death. This process repeated for a long time. Then I finally tried to sleep it out. I closed my eyes for only a few minutes, and thought the night had passed. I got up and dressed and walked out to the kitchen to pour a bowl of cereal. The time was around 2:00 AM.

Due to some of my random outbursts of speech earlier, my mother asked me what was going on. I submissively told her everything. I knew there was no way around this one. She started talking to me about God, but that was the last thing I was going to pay attention to. The whole experience gave me an understanding of everything. Everything worked in sync with the universe. I though about everything mostly on a subatomic scale. But anyways, I told my mom that I thought I was going to die. She looked like she had some kind of inner purple and green true self, which looked very alien. I kept glancing at the shifting tablecloth. We talked about how I was feeling for a little bit and it was decided that I was going to take a trip to the ER. On the way, my sister called my mom, and asked if I was okay. My mom told her that we were en route to the hospital, and she told her not to, and that I was fine, and it was all in my head. It really didn't feel like it was in my head, I thought I was going to die, I had just accidentally postponed it. I couldn't foresee myself still alive after that night. My mom drove me back to the house, and told me to try and get some rest. It was around 4:00 AM now, and I sat in bed for a while until sleep took over.

When I woke up at daylight, my sister was at my house talking to my mom about the whole thing. I was more depressed than I ever thought possible, I just layed in bed crying. My sister came in and gave me a hug and apologized for leaving me. I broke down. J was outside and my sister said I should talk to him. I went outside and I couldn't really talk at all. I tried to explain things but words just wouldn't leave my mouth. I was too depressed to speak, and I had to pause numerous times during the occasional times I was able to speak so that I wouldn't break down.

The following days were still depressing for me, but not nearly as bad. When the aftermath finally subsided, I was left with a new perception of life. I began to look at the way things happen in a very particular way, and I became extremely interested in the brain, everything about it, along with quantum theory and mechanics. I've done extensive research since. My thoughts on the subject of the brain are too deep to put into words, but I like how things have changed. Although I had a bad trip, it led me to seek a new form of enlightenment. Before the experience, I didn't really know what I wanted out of life. But I know now that I simply want understanding. Of everything.

Exp Year: 2016ExpID: 110308
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jun 11, 2025Views: Not Supported
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LSD (2) : Various (28), Families (41), Mystical Experiences (9), Bad Trips (6), First Times (2)

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