Citation: Crystal Ball. "Every Fourth Day: An Experience with AL-LAD, sometimes with Aniracetam (exp110423)". Erowid.org. Jun 28, 2017. erowid.org/exp/110423
Micrososing AL-LAD 20-25mcg Transparency
Setting: Work, Studying, Sports
Frequency: Every 4th day
Onset: Usually < 1 hour, blotter piece on almost empty stomach in the morning
Duration: With the microdosage, about 2 hours after onset, subconscious changes in form of changed thought patterns
- mostly noticable up to 6 hours
Once while walking, I felt so extremely graceful being alive, in the context of our short life in comparison to the processes in the universe as we understand it, the circuit of material things, our body, water, fire, air, dust... It was a short realization of all these happening processes, and being here and now, and having the privilege to be the observer of it all. It has emphasized this wonder so much. It sounds so primitive and esoteric at the same time, but was an short and overwhelming insight which fulfilled the wish to grasp the wholistic nature of life... This is just one of the many small insights, which enriched my experience so much.
In general, microdosing AL-LAD made me less stuck in thoughts, has lessened the tendency to interpret things in a pessimistic manner, which wasn't a prominent criteria of me anyway, however, and lessened my ambiguous fear of the unknown future which resides in all of us in a more or less prominent way.
Furthermore, it did allow me to see my desires or the 'lower level' reasons for my actions in a more truthful and direct way. This is especially interesting in sports, when having a very intense and exhausting physical experience. It has helped me to dissociate to some extent from my body, in order to use the feedback from it but without being overwhelmed
It has helped me to dissociate to some extent from my body, in order to use the feedback from it but without being overwhelmed
, and increased the ability to control the motor coordination because I was 'a little bit outside' it.
Usually, it seems that some kind of self-esteem or Ego mechanisms wrap the 'lower level' desires in an envelope which shifts them into a self positive spectrum or even fades the whole behaviour or action completely out in order to protect the mentioned Ego and keeps the notion away from reaching consciousness. But with 25 mcg AL-LAD, the ability to function and reason in everyday life without being flooded and overwhelmed by the effects and without being converted to a smiling vegetable, in addition to a certain amount of concentration to observe and scrutinise the origins of thoughts is highly increased.
Combined with Aniracetam, the focus and ability to 'trace' a certain thought or thought loop increases even more, from the result (goal) perspective as well as from the motivational point of view. A very interesting effect is the 'traceabilty' of thought chains based on associations. AL-LAD increases the ability to follow back the chain of seemingly random thoughts.
One of the newer theories on how our thoughts are stored in our brain describes them as neuronal networks, which connect events, objects and its attributes, time and relations between them and other events (as for associative memory) in a network which is accessed by activation of one or more or the containing elements of the 'branch'. Therefore, if there is a seemingly random thought, there is a high probability that it is linked to the current point of attention (conscious or unconscious) or some cue in or environmental or emotional state and therefore can be retrieved with the respective concentration. The thought and association pattern becomes more transparent.
Now after getting to the assumed root cause, an intervention becomes possible if the emerging fear or other emotional reactions from grasping it can be overcome. (Hey, panic attack, where are you?) But as this is a personal observation, it is not possible for me to distinguish between the increased desire to 'trace' which would be just an affective or conditioned behaviour, from the real ability to 'trace' in form of gaining access some abilities or perspectives by opening up connections between brain areas which usually don't communicate with each other.
This combination works very well for me, Aniracetam keeps the signal-to-noise ratio low which increases the ability to 'trace' thoughts and desires. Ergo it seems to me, that in the described context, the threshold of the protective mechanisms of the self-esteem or Ego, or whatever it exactly is, decreases. From what I've read, this seems to describe the ability to access the emotional root cause and helps to grasp the initial affect that is triggered by 'lower level' mechanisms in our subcortical brain areas.
In conclusion, this is a very 'truthful' tool which enables me to consciously work with several traits and dispositions of my behaviour, interpretation of things and reaction - especially in the low dosages, by keeping, as mentioned, enough clarity to react while being able to access it. Recognition without suppression and protective reactions is that first step to correction. Particularly, the neurotic dispositions (= insisting how things certainly should be but are not), deep associations with aggressive reaction seem to become easily accessible and can be intervented by re-interpretation, relativisation and other hooks - but require a lot of conscious work and concentration.
On the other hand, I suppose that it can be very dangerous and fearful to weak personalities and someone who has anxiety tendencies as encountering suppressed traumas can cause these formidable bad trips and panic attacks.
In comparison to 1P-LSD, when taking comparable dose, AL-LAD offers a more straightforward encountering of thoughts to me and pulls them less to the thoughtful side.
Thanks to everyone who has made these experiences possible.
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