DOSE:	2.5 g	oral	Mushrooms	(powder / crystals)
			Pharms - Diazepam

BODY WEIGHT:

80 kg

Set: Prior to the experience I had been dieting and cut meat out of my diet as I was on the weekend going to be on a diet of canned food and instant noodles, I had spent 4+ hours in the passenger seat of a car and was quite hungry and tired as the festival I was planning on going to was cancelled by police right as it was supposed to start. Substances I have used prior; one small (100ug) LSD trip, sub breakthrough DMT experience once and of course had at least 100+ cannabis experiences under my belt. I had not eaten a proper meal for 6+ hours

Setting: as mentioned above I was on my way to a festival when it was shut down due to legal issues and ended up camping in a forest in the middle of nowhere it was a 45 min drive from the nearest main road, completely out of phone reception (dangerous in hind sight). We were all set up camping in a small clearing me and my close friends had set up our tents in a little cluster and the other people we had met up with had done the same thing forming several of these little clusters of tents. I had arrived just after sunset and had to set up my tent in the dark as a result.

Dosage: 2.5 grams of powdered shroom “caps” I had come to this camping trip with the intention of having a mushroom experience. I walked around meeting all the people. I had not come along with trying to score, and in my eagerness purchased 2 “grams” of shrooms and was quite confused when the guy I was getting them off handed me 2 huge capsules with powdered plant matter within. I then inquired, I wanted shrooms not whatever was in these but he told me they were just powdered shrooms but he had the normal ones if I wanted. I then said it was all good as long as they were mushies and before leaving asked him how many he would take and let him know I had never done them before, he told me 2 for a beginner 3 for a more experienced tripper. Thank god my ego didn’t get the better of me and I didn’t end up getting 3 on a whim, I latter found the caps where weighted around 1.25g not 1g.

So me and my friends headed back to our tents all stocked up and ready for the night. I went and tested my shrooms but failed to get a proper reading from the reagent I had. But one of guys we where with told me he used to grow them and he could take them and had a lick of the powder and reassured, me they were defiantly not bunk. So I promptly dropped both, my friends all took up to 1g. Soon after doing so I remember the guy I bought them off talking about how an empty stomach will cause them to affect you harder so I quickly rummaged around my tent and made myself a vegemite sandwich.

Soon after a couple my group of friends and I had not met prior came round the campsite and began talking to and befriending our little group. I instantly got along with these two and began talking primarily to them and realised the come up affects where demolishing my social anxiety. Whenever I thought something I could easily articulate it to the 2 people whom I had just met and just felt more comfortable around other people as well as increasingly euphoric. As we all talked I noted I felt like the mad hatter in of the animated Disney versions of Alice in Wonderland sitting round a table in what felt like a tea party out in a forest spurting of strange profound thoughts every time they came to me. We then decided to stop sitting around our camp area and meet other people. As I got up I remembered that MDMA was a drug that was supposed to increase ones happiness and then exclaimed without explanation of my thought process “This is the happiest I ever wanna be.” The girl then noted my cheery state and that I looked like I was having a great time and my experience made her want to try shrooms I quickly retorted yea sure I’m having a great time now but who knows my trip might turn bad as the night goes on. And oh how right I was.

We began walking toward some of the other campfires about 10 meters away and my trip began taking a very weird turn and I began to lose my ability to recognise faces and gauge age. As I was talking to my new found I turned friend turned to her and she all of a sudden looked like and older version of herself and I assumed she was a different person and laughed off my mistake and apologised to the stranger which later turned out to be her. We continued walking along to the campfire. We were headed toward that which had some music but suddenly stopped and began dancing. I looked at the male of the couple and noted how fucking weird what we were doing was. He then just smiled and said nah man it's all good. Then another one of the guys I had met earlier in the day came around and began doing one of the strangest dances I have ever seen in my life and to top it off he had on him an LED toy staff that was blinking green and red and was incorporating this in the dance, what I can only describe as whatever conductors of marching bands do with their canes with a little air thrusting thrown in the mix. Needless to say, me and my new-found friends sat there laughing our asses off at the bizarre performance. Soon after I noted how the edges of my friend began looking like hands and his body looked like a head and legs with no torso or arms and tried to tell him this but realised my ability to speak and articulate what I was seeing was very hindered.

After this both my memory and perception of the night went to absolute shit and my brain became incredibly foggy. I more or less lost the ability to speak for some time now that I was with 2 people I had only known for around and hour prior (no idea where my other friends wondered off to) and was otherwise surrounded by complete strangers, without the ability to speak and introduce myself and became quite disoriented and dissociated for the next couple hours. I completely forgot I was on any drugs.

I ended up wandering up to a pavilion tent. No idea how I got there or what I did before and saw a friend I had known from high school and not seen since. Him and a bunch of people he was talking to all had a realisation that “oh you are that guy” “oh yea no you’re that guy” as they all shook hands and greeted one another. In my mind this went on for an incredible amount of time and them all repeating similar phrases over and over again.

I then later stumbled into one of my friends as he was standing and talking with another of my friends upon recognising him I was very happy as I was having trouble identifying faces. So walked up to him and said “You man where you been.” He looked me dead in the eyes. At the time he had face paint on, he likes dressing up in some strange trippy gear every time we trip. He looked terrifying like some Zulu witch doctor and just as quickly as I regained the ability to speak I lost it again. And mid-sentence walked off distressed.

I then somehow ended up sitting around a campfire and at the time also had no idea how I had ended up there and was surrounded by people whom I had never bet before and was now not with any of my friends or at least could not recognise them and was completely not verbal. And just kinda sat there for god knows how long becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the people around me. I then began believing that these where my friends I had come down on the camping trip with and that quite some time had passed and we were ourselves 5+ years in the future and simply looked different because we had all aged. I also got the feeling I had wasted my life during that time that I had not grown intellectually and remained a delinquent. During this time I became quite aware of the fire and began believing if I left its warmth I would die. I then realised the people I was sitting with were looking at me and talking about me. Probably wondering who this stranger was sitting by their fire and why he looked so terrified.

One of guys sitting next to me then asked "Hey man, what’s your name?" and I just stared at him blankly not quite understanding what he wanted or meant and just stared at him confused. He then looked at worriedly and tried again and I became aware that he expected some response but had no idea what he was asking me and what he wanted, he then most likely realised how high I was and gave up. I then sat around for some time sort of looking at the people around me then finally made the decision, I was going to die. Yep, I was going to get up and leave the fires warmth and try make it back to my campsite and friends, which at the time I thought would kill me in some way. Although, I at some level knew, not physically, as I had a plan for after my death. So I got up and walked toward my site, no idea where I was or how to get there.

I then went through some profound out of body experience in which I was energy floating in the void or out in the galaxy evolving with every thought I had. During this time I didn't have access to my memories, body or even my “self”. Every time I had some revelation I changed what energy I was and what direction I was flowing, kind of like fire or plasma arcs. Every time I put two bits of knowledge together to form a revelation, I changed and became a slightly different piece of energy. I had some other ego death esque experiences but this was the most notable will complete destruction of self and external I was one with the universe during this point. Where and when this experience happened, I have no idea but I believe it was during me walking from one campfire to another.

As the dissociation and confusion began to fade I somehow ended back near my tent with the friends I had come down with, and kind of stood around the table feeling lost. I then managed to blurt out to my friend “I want to go home”, at the time I didn’t actually want to I wanted to inflate my bed so I could sleep that night. Naturally my friend said no I couldn’t go home but if I wanted to sleep the pump for the bed was over by the car. I just stared at him blankly not quite knowing how to process what he had just said, they then thankfully ended up inflating my mattress for me. And I went into my tent to sleep and hopefully end my trip that was taking quite the toll. I had been tripping for about 4 hours at least now and was feeling quite drained, yet I was not tired at all.

As I lay in my tent being alone plus the quietness let my thoughts run again and I began trying to remember why I was feeling this way and what I had done. I just remembered I had 1 before but now I had, what I was trying to think was I had prior done 1 dose of acid and now I had 2 doses of shrooms and remembered I hadn’t even exhausted my drug budget and could get more like this. And I began thinking how strange it was that I owned a tent and that this was my space and I had this thing I could use to purchase what I was currently on but at no point did I properly realise I was on drugs, I then ran thinking of how strange life is how I could trade both my time and effort for this money and I could have these little areas of fabric that I could call mine and I could own them,

I then at some point lost myself again. I should preface this with saying I am studying a computer science degree and this played into my trip and the next part may not make much sense without a background in computing, I began thinking I was some strange assortment of cells in a cellular automata or Conway’s game of life like environment and I was going to have to reconstruct myself from these super basic elements (think like cells or atoms) back into the complex being I once was. During this time, I kept repeating my name and that I was a programmer and that I did programming. This sort of walking the line of ego death had happened several times prior and continued for quite some time.

Soon after when one of my friends poked his head into the tent and asked if I was feeling better and if he could come in, so naturally I said yea sure about the 5th sentence I had spat out in the last 5 hours. I don’t quite know when he came in but I believe it was somewhere during the next paragraph, also worth noting he was wearing a high vis vest and I assume this contributed to the latter part of what came next.

Soon after I began seeing the drive down and as the car made its way down the road became less and less tared until it became dirt. The surrounding trees became more and more dead. I thought this camping trip would be the end of me, as the cars proceeded down this dark dystopian road. There lay crashed and mangled cars either side of the road and I ended up laying down by the road and paramedics where around my body. I’m assuming trying to help me with whatever injury’s I had. I believed this road had no return and I had set my life on a path of darkness and destruction. During this time, someone was cutting firewood outside but to me at the time it sounded like a gun and I lay there waiting for someone to some into the tent with a gun and shoot me.

This part proceeded to be a blur but apparently, he invited several other people I had never even seen before into the tent one being a psychology student and people came and went from my tent. This part became incredibly blurry but as the night went on, it ended up being friend and the psychologist who was trying to calm me down, apparently, I looked quite scared and had a sacred expression for quite some time. I had no idea who I was and my friend kept trying to tell me who I was which really didn’t help, I would not recommend trying to force someone experiencing ego death back into their body. Things started getting weird again. During this time, I started tripping that I was now my father during a family camping trip and the psychologist was my mother and I was experiencing my life from the perspective of someone close to me. I started believing with reincarnation. Rather than being reinserted past the time of death, I would continue to live life from the perspective of everyone I had ever met.

They then ended up administering me a Valium although when they handed it to me I had no idea what it was, but after some encouragement from them I took it. It worth noting in hind sight I didn't wanna take the Valium but my friends had no way of communicating with me and I looked incredibly scared so I understand why they gave it to me. They later told me they were scared of what they would have to tell my mother if I stayed in that state and never sobered up. I can only imagine how sacred they must have been (they were all on something as well mainly shrooms but smaller doses).

I then started believing that I had just taken fentanyl and started tripping that I developed an out of control drug habit and that I would end up on ice or heroin and die. That I was going to take a backseat in life due to my drug habits and watch all of my friend’s progress in their lives get married and have children while I destroyed mine and ultimately ended up overdosing.

The night went on and while psychiatrist was talking to me (I had no idea what she was saying I could not understand anything) I had the urge to roll over to the other side of my bed and they took this as me wanting to sleep so they left me be and I ended up drifting off to sleep not long after.

I awoke early the next morning feeling incredible and very much myself and noticed a beanie on my floor and realised psychiatrist existed and I didn’t trip her and returned my beanie and thanked her for taking care of me, a bit an awkward conversation. My friends later got up and where relieved to see me sane and well.

I feel like I learned a lot during my trip and worked on integrating what I learnt during the next coming months, and am certain this was the kind of trip that some people come out of with PTSD or psychosis. While I may have not conveyed how scary some bits were/ I was completely convinced I was going to die during several parts, and worse still, had threw away my life due to my imaginary drug habits. It was at times utterly horrifying.

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 110594
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: May 6, 2025	Views: Not Supported
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