DOSE:

repeated

insufflated

Pharms - Phenazepam

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

210 lb

[Erowid Note: Two samples of powder (even of the same chemical) with equivalent volumes won't necessarily weigh the same. For this reason, eyeballing is an inaccurate and potentially dangerous method of measuring, particularly for substances that are active in very small amounts. See this article on The Importance of Measured Doses.]
Phenazepam A Nightmare

I was 18 years old, and having been on probation for a year had discovered the world of legal drugs/research chemicals. Prior to this experience I had had heavy experience with opiates, benzos, marijuana, alcohol and countless prescription drugs. To a lesser extent I had experiences with ecstasy, cocaine, MDPV, acid and mushrooms. At the present moment I was trying various legal substances, including wormwood, poppies, damiana, sassafras, methoxetamine, benzedrex, etc.—basically whatever I could get my hands on without having to worry about failing a standard drug test.

Through intense research I had stumbled upon a chemical called phenazepam—a benzo which was said to be much more potent than Xanax and even Klonopin. At this time in my life I was very gung-ho about benzos, regularly taking 3-4 milligrams of Xanax per night, if I was able to procure it, along with alcohol and (if I was lucky enough to find it), oxycodone, oxymorphone or heroin. I would get reasonably drunk, 6 beers or equivalent, then snort half a Xanax bar and take the other half sublingually. Then, once the Xanax kicked in, I’d snort 40 mg of OC, or 2 bags of shitty dope, or pop 10 Vicodins….You get the idea.

So when I found out about phenazepam I thought “This shit is too good to be true!” A benzo that lasts longer than clonazepam, costs an 8th as much, and is legal, to boot!

Turns out it was too good to be true.

I bought 1 gram for $20. 1000 milligrams.

Keep in mind this drug is active at the 1-2 mg level.

So I had it shipped to me, 500 doses of a benzo that has twice the half-life of Xanax.

I had no idea what I was doing.

You see, I had no idea that 2mg of phenazepam (or of any RC which is over 95% pure, for that matter) would be a tiny, tiny pinhead of powder, whereas 2mg of Xanax is the size of a pulverized Xanax—ie a whole lot of powder. Perhaps I did realize this on a subconscious level, due to my past experience with MDPV, but I certainly didn’t obey my instincts, if I even had them. I was used to snorting a good gagger of powder whenever I snorted a benzo, so that’s what I did in this case.

I remember I got the gram, snorted a tiny bump out of it and drove 5 hours away to hang out with my older brother for the weekend. I was supposed to be starting college the following Monday. I felt very little from that first bump, almost nothing; but just enough, so it seemed at the time, to realize that I hadn’t been ripped off. It was a subtle “light” feeling almost, as if gravity had dissipated a little bit. But it certainly wasn’t a “high”. I drove from Rhode Island to upstate NY with no problems whatsoever (250 miles).

I remember all of that quite clearly.

And I remember arriving at my brother’s home around 9 or 10 PM. And I remember telling him about this “phenazepam shit” and how it might turn out to be pretty damn good. And I remember my brother being excited to try it. So we had a few beers and I broke out the bag. Then I set up 2 gaggers for us—the type of line you’d set up after 6 hours of snorting coke, and you want to take that one last gagger to get a really good high before you start coming down for the night. Those are the kind of lines I set up.

And I remember snorting that line, and my brother snorting his, and it wasn’t harsh at all, it was like snorting chalk almost…

And I woke up 1 and half weeks later. I’m not exaggerating. I was blacked out for literally 10 days. I remember absolutely nothing from that time. The gram was gone when I came to but I don’t know if we did it all or gave it away or lost it or what.

But during these lost days, my brother was arrested for dui, twice in the same night—along with marijuana possession and reckless driving. I was arrested for kicking a neighbor’s door down and watching TV till the cops arrived. (I was ultimately charged with felony breaking and entering, criminal mischief and resisting arrest, for which I had to serve 6 months in jail, pay restitution of $3,500 and commit to 3 years of probation.) I could no longer associate with my best friend since elementary school because I had apparently stolen his father’s coin collection, which had been a family heirloom for 2 generations. I pawned all my mother’s jewelry. During this time my Grandfather’s gun collection disappeared. When I woke up I had bruises all around my legs and my nose was broken.

What I did with all the money that I should’ve had from these escapades I have no idea. I must have either bought drugs or else I gave it all away. I had a good $900 in my bank account before this happened and when I woke up it was all gone. I had also missed my college enrollment for that semester, and completely alienated my grandparents, whom I was living with at the time and who were going to pay for my college education.

Eight years later I’ve gotten my act together, but it took a very long time. Not just to give up on drugs, but to forgive myself for all the shit I did under phenazepam’s influence. I ruined people’s lives in that lost week and a half. Many of them still haven’t forgiven me.

And you know, one of the saddest aspects to this experience is that I don’t even remember being high. I remember feeling like I’d taken a half milligram of Ativan, which everyone knows is not nearly as good as a Xanax or Klonopin. Then I went off the deep end.

I haven’t taken a benzo since.

[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]

Exp Year: 2009	ExpID: 110683
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Dec 6, 2022	Views: 599
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Pharms - Phenazepam (505) : Various (28), Multi-Day Experience (13), Overdose (29), Train Wrecks & Trip Disasters (7)