Citation: STePhen. "The Fourth Wall Comes Down: An Experience with DOM (exp110693)". Erowid.org. Nov 10, 2017. erowid.org/exp/110693
||(blotter / tab)
Previous experiences: periodically for 30 years with alcohol, amphetamine suphate, cannabis, cocaine, DOM, LSD, mushrooms, MDA, MDMA.
This was the fourth or fifth time I had tried DOM/STP. I had tested it with two different reagents, and they did not show up anything that caused concern. Tabs were from a very trusted source and clearly marked as to which drug it was and dosage. Previously I had tried fractions of tabs, increasing each time from a very, very small amount.
dosage: one 2.5 mg tab very early afternoon.
+2 hours: very slight trembling
+2 hours 15 minutes: feeling cold
+2 hours 30 minutes: feeling colder, trembling, slight difficulty concentrating (I was using the internet) so I put on some fluffy clothing for warmth, coziness and comfort.
+2 hours 45 minutes: went to bed, lay under duvet for warmth and for comfort. No negative feelings, just slight bodyload really.
+3 hours: started watching soft-core erotica of two middle-aged, very voluptuous professional erotic actresses massaging each others' naked bodies. Within a few seconds a very odd thing happened. I didn't feel aroused, but instead more 'intrigued' by the scene. A device in some comedy shows is for an actor to talk through the 'fourth wall' directly to the audience. Amongst the smiles and expressions of passion and excitement that are typical of such a soft-core erotic video, I suddenly felt as if I had, somehow, a greater understanding of what was actually going on when the scene was actually being filmed! The smiles to the camera seemed more 'knowing' than usual - the erotic actresses were (presumably) enjoying the sensual massaging, but also 'beyond' that there was the 'story' of the day of the actual recording itself. They were enjoying it, but also they seemed clearly aware of the obvious ridiculousness of it - they were giggling and smiling as part of the 'plot' (such as there was one!) of the video, but in 'parallel' to the acted-out 'erotic' smiling and giggling they were smiling and giggling at the situation they were in. At one point, or maybe twice or more, one or both actresses' expressions to camera were freighted with a look of 'playful annoyance' - had the director called out instructions on what they should do next? Had the director called out an instruction to take the massaging more seriously and 'quit messing around'???! Did they shoot back a semi-joking semi-serious look saying 'we know what we're doing! We're they professionals!'?
Furthermore...as mentioned above, the 'fourth wall' - the imaginary wall between audience and actresses in this video - seemed to be missing somehow. Were their semi-joking looks not even to the cameraman or director but actually to me, the viewer-to-be, in the future, communicating their sense that they were enjoying themselves, but that they also thought it silly that I was going to be watching them act out the patently absurd scene of two absurdly-generously proportioned ladies just happening to work in the same ornately-decorated office and suddenly deciding to strip and massage lotion on each others' amazingly fertile-looking bodies? Such questions were swimming around in my mind and my logical reasoning slowed down to a crawl. Soon the women began to leave pleasing 1970s-style disco-video special effect 'trails' as they squirmed around.
+ ? unknown time from now onwards. I got out of bed, no longer cold. I went to the bathroom and sat on the toilet. Previously on DOM I had looked at the dull purple/gray marble-patterned plastic floor and saw patterns in it, like Chinese or Japanese watercolors or ink-wash drawings in those colors. They came back again, for example variants on waves like the famous Tsunami picture, but less defined, more 'washy'. Other scenes were visible - the same oriental water-color/ink wash style in drab purples and grays, of mountains, forests, seas.... then, briefly at one point, some Indian Gods, Ganesh, Shiva(?) (the one with multiple arms),
Back in the bedroom I lay down again and listened to goa trance music. Thankfully, this time round on the DOM I remembered to close my eyes for closed eye visuals, and saw brilliant flourescent yellow, lime-green and red geometric patters, growing, pulsating, spiralling, tessellating.
I then remembered that in the bathroom I saw patterns and pictures that I had seen on previous DOM trips, so I wondered if I was able to cause myself to 'turn on and off' hallucinations? I looked at my duvet cover and noticed the weave of the fabric itself more intensely than in normal conditions, and simultaneously decided to look to see if I could see something fantastical, like maybe gargoyles on an old English church. After a little while the weave of the duvet cover fabric became slightly grains-of-sand-like in appearance, so I decided to look to see if I could see any 'sand sculptures'... shapes and dips and hollows coalesced into a small, maybe 3cm long shape of a primitively molded 'sand skull' I was not afraid at this point, confident that I could change the focus of my attention if I so pleased, maybe getting up and making a nice cup of tea or having a cold beer from the fridge or eating some fruit to distract my mind if it all got a bit too much. As my confidence and interest grew, the sand-skull became more pronounced, and it began slipping and sliding down, as suddenly they were all over the surface of the duvet! Slowly shifting, sliding, pulsating.... I enjoyed the 'cool special effects' for a while, but decided to get up and wander around a bit, listen to music, be a bit more 'normal' until the end of the trip, which was around +8 hours or so.
I slept reasonably well, glad that I timed the trip when I did. The following day I felt very alive and the Spring nature around me seemed very fresh, lush, vivid, more so than usual.
A thoroughly enjoyable trip, a bit of cold and edginess at the beginning, so feelings of nausea etc. I have had bad trips on LSD and mushrooms, and after them I avoided those substances for a number of years, but so far STP has been pretty much problem-free for me. I always test everything I take and have learned to prepare my environment carefully. Finally in view of the amount of drugs I have taken over the decades I do from time to time trip alone but when I started out I was with other, experienced people.
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