Citation: ChromaticSloth. "Dark Carnival at the End of Time: An Experience with 5-MeO-MIPT (exp110775)". Erowid.org. Sep 30, 2017. erowid.org/exp/110775
0:00/6:30PM: I just get off my shift volunteering for the burn and a friend of mine offers me a capsule. We were planning to take LSD and he tells me Moxy is the perfect thing to prime me for an acid trip. As he described Moxy it is supposed to feel like LSD mixed with MDMA. Iíve tried both 2C-B and 2C-I that were described to me that way as well. I decide to give it a try. He gives me a capsule that has a light-moderate 8mg dose. I take it.
0:15/6:45PM: Iím waiting for my friend to get ready to head to the obelisk. I am already able to tell something is off. The sun is going down rapidly and the wind is starting to pick up. Iím getting auditory sensations through the wind like it was whispering to me.
0:20/6:50PM: I walk towards my friendís camp to find him. I am getting visuals. Things in motion have become blurry. The way the grass looks as I walk makes it feel like I am flying over a field. I recruit my friend and we make our way towards the obelisk as the sun disappears.
0:30/7:00PM: In the darkness, all I can see are what now look like floating lights which are actually people and faraway camps. As I walk past a group of people I notice how distant their voices seem, almost like they were whispers of the wind. There is an auditory effect that makes the voices sound like cars driving past me.
0:40/7:10PM: We reach a camp that gives away clothing for burners who donít have a costume. They are having a fashion show. I watch the fashion show for a bit and start to become self-conscious. I have the insecurity of being called out because I am not dressed as festively as other people. I imagine people judging me and all of a sudden the MC starts singing. He reaches a verse to the song and other people in the crowd start singing along making me feel even more self-aware because I feel like Iím the only one who doesnít know this song. The MC has been repeating the same line 3 times already and Iím starting to freak out and I ask myself if Iím stuck in a time loop. Panic slowly starts to set in but thankfully after the 5th repeat the MC starts singing other lyrics. I gather my senses and tell me friend I want to move on.
0:50/7:20PM: We continue to walk the circuit and I run into one of my friends from volunteering. My vision is hazy and I am having strong auditory hallucinations. Chatting with him calmed me down a bit. He walks with us to go see the obelisk.
0:55/7:25PM: We finally make it to the obelisk only to find out it had already burned to the ground. I start to beginning to feel the symbolism of impermanence, realizing this whole festival will all be gone without a trace and how life works in that same way. (Iíve only ever experienced this type of symbolism under the influence of ayahuasca and DMT.) I begin to feel sadness as I watching the burning pile of embers. Sitting in the field with my friends, it feels like time is standing still in my bubble that includes the fire and my friends but the world kept spinning. The music from all the camps started to blend together and sounded like it was being fast forwarded resulting in what sounded like demented carnival music. The stars above were moving like the sky was a time lapse.
1:00/7:30PM: My friend gets bored of staring at the ashes of the obelisk and wants to go on to see the effigy. I tell him I need a moment and that Iíll catch up. I donít feel like I have full power of my body (I consider myself pretty active and have good coordination). He walks off and after 30 seconds I decide to man up and run after him.
1:05/7:35PM: We start to make our way up and around the effigy, which is a castle. It feels like I am in a dream. I know the world is bigger than what is going on in my bubble but I canít comprehend that concept anymore. My body starts to feel foreign to me and I start getting this feeling like there is an entity in my body, particularly my stomach. Because time feels like it has sped up I feel like I am slow. I am not confident in my motor skills anymore and my ability to climb 4 stories to the top of the castle. I start ascending slowly and I start getting used to controlling my body.
1:15/7:45PM: Weíre at the top of the castle looking out over the festival. I can see other camps off in the distance thanks to the light they are emitting. It feels like each of the lights is illuminating a different faraway world. Looking down over the edge of the castle I can see the dim glow that illuminates the grass below. I am suddenly overcome with this feeling that is pulling me towards the edge. I try to shake off the thoughts but they keep getting stronger and louder. I am now distinctly aware of the urge I have to jump off the edge of the castle. I am terrified of the lack of control I am feeling because Iíve never felt suicidal while I was high before (or at least I was never aware of it). I continue to stand there looking over the edge into the abyss and fighting the urge to jump. When it becomes too overwhelming, I peel myself away from the edge. I sit myself against the edge and gather my bearings.
1:25/7:55PM: My friend asks me if I want to go look for a secret ball pit he heard is built somewhere in the castle. We begin descending the castle and I open up to him about my suicidal thoughts about jumping over the edge. He is shocked and tells me he is glad I didnít jump. He also wonders why I didnít tell him about it before. At that point I realized it was something I felt like I had to deal with alone. I then remembered that when I was younger I used to have suicidal ideation all the time. I didnít realize it until then but those thoughts never really went away, I just learned how to handle them. Since I have grown older and life has gotten better, I donít deal with those thoughts as often anymore or when I do I am able to dismiss them rather quickly in my sobriety.
1:30/8:00PM: We make our way into the bottom floor where we find the ball pit. Iím still kind of shook from the experience but the sensory overload of being in the space themed ball pit takes my mind off the dark thoughts. Floating in the ball pit and looking up at the glowing stars made me feel like a speck floating in space. It was hot in the tiny room but the heat didnít bother me. Eventually I noticed my friend wasnít in the ball pit anymore. I head out to look for him. As I was leaving the secret room I run into a girl (Monkey) who takes one look at me and asks, ďAre you lost?Ē
1:45/8:15PM: I must have had a bewildered look on my face because I thought that was a strange question to ask someone in a place where everyone was tripping and probably lost. I tell her I lost my friend and she agrees to help me look for him. We begin to ascend the castle.
1:47/8:18PM: The night has picked up and the castle is now packed with people. There is a line to get to the next floor. After getting impatient Monkey climbs over a fence to take a shortcut and I climb over after her. She sees the way I climb over the fence and asks me if Iím a climber. I tell her I donít consider myself a climber and I can climb. Monkeyís face lights up and she asks me if I want to play a game.
1:50/8:20PM: Apparently, Monkey likes to lead climb and found out I boulder. She comes up with the game of climbing to the next floor of the castle without touching the floor because itís lava. I think this is a terrible idea (sheís on god knows how much shrooms and Iím tripping pretty hard from the moxy). She sees the horrified look on my face and offers to go first so Iíll know the route. She climbs over the railing and starts to work her way across the balcony, makes it across the arch and lands on a bench near the side of the slide. Then she looks eagerly up at me and I know she expects me to go.
1:55/8:25PM: People had seen her climb and were now looking up at me realizing I was supposed to go next. I used to climb a lot but itís been about a year and Iíve always done it sober. Iím really tense, not just because of the drugs but the suicidal thoughts I just had came rushing back to me as I approached the railing. Again the idea of the symbolism of life came to me again. I know this was the moxy at work but I felt like this was one of lifeís tests. This suddenly because an opportunity to overcome my fears. I timidly climb over the railing and start to work my way around the balcony. As I climb I feel my confidence quickly build. At first Iím afraid to look down but before I reach the landing pad I look down and donít recognize any more fear.
2:00/8:30PM: I am relived it is over but only to see that Monkey is now excited to have found a climbing buddy and tells me itís my turn to come up with a route. I am not all that confident at first and come up with a fairly easy route. Next thing I know weíre climbing all over the castle and there are people sitting there watching us climb. My thoughts and fears of suicide have long left me at this point and I begin taking riskier moves. This turned out to be the best experience because not only because I overcame a fear but as we climbed I hit a state of flow.
Iíve always envied others Iíve seen at burns who hoop, juggle, fire play, paint or whatever they do as a performance. This is the only time Iíve ever gotten to ďperformĒ at a festival. People stopped and watched us climb for over an hour in awe. I could hear them talk and see them faintly but itís as if they werenít there. It felt like they were ghosts or in another dimension that I couldnít interact with. When I heard them talk it sounded distant and their voices sounded like they would zoom by like a car on the freeway. My vision was hyper focused and all I could see were was Monkey, the holds and the route I was climbing. It was all a surreal experience. I also couldnít feel fatigue. After not climbing for so long I thought my body wouldnít be in condition to go for that long. I was surprised to see my grip didnít fail me. As we were climbing we also ran into my friend again who left me to my own devices. He called Monkey my ďmuseĒ, symbolic of some sort of guide sent to challenge me through my obstacles. Eventually Monkey gets hungry so we go on a quest to look for food.
3:50/10:20 PM: As we leave the castle we turn back and sit in the grass to admire the effigy. It looks completely different now. As we sit there we start mapping out potential places on the castle we can climb. It then occurs to me that as climbers, only we look at the castle in that way; no one else at the burn sees the castle as routes and looks for places they can hold onto. I felt grateful to be able to share that experience with another person because in a strange way that made me feel understood and accepted. Then I realize that we were supposed to be looking for my friend.
4:10/10:40PM: I begin to feel like a crappy friend. Monkey asks me what I want to do. When I respond that I feel like I ought to look for my friend she tells me I donít have to. She asks me again what I want to do and I get the idea that she wants to sleep with me (I donít know if this is at all true but it may be because there were people lining up to ride a giant rocking unicorn that was shooting fire from its horn). I thought this was a symbolism for sex but I wasnít feeling like it in the moment. We talk to some of her friends for a bit and decide to continue our quest for food.
4:25/10:55PM: We start wandering around running into people and coming up with new quests to check out different camps and get stamps and whatnot but it was a lot of fun. By now the moxy was largely wearing off and I contemplated whether I should take the shrooms or LSD to continue the trip but I decide against it because I got what I wanted out of my experience. This is one of the most fulfilling, if not the most, trip and my favorite experience at a festival in my life.
5:00/11:30PM: The lingering visual effects of the high still feel hazy/wispy but the auditory hallucinations start to go away. My body now feels like I have a light high going as if I smoked. We go around finding snacks and itís just like I have the munchies. Food tastes fine.
8:00/2:30AM: We finally decide to settle into a chill camp with pillows, cuddle up, and talk.
9:00/3:30AM: Stuffed full of junk food Monkey passes out next to me.
10:00/4:30AM: I have trouble falling asleep. Iím not sure if itís the moxy or if Iím being kept up by people doing whippets and talking.
I manage to fall asleep for a couple hours. I get up around 8 in the morning and start to make my way back to my tent leaving Monkey still asleep. This has by far been my favorite trip. This report is sort of biased because as I mentioned it was also my favorite experience at a festival. I donít know how it would hit me in a different context but this experience has got me very curious to try it again.
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