DOSE: T+ 0:00	2.5 hits	oral	LSD	(blotter / tab)
T+ 10:00	repeated	smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

10 st

I have debated drafting this report for some time. Months have passed since my experience and since I am still unable to pass my incredibly intense psychedelic voyage off as ‘just being on drugs’ I have decided that this may help me get my head around what happened that day.

First I believe some background information is necessary. I was going camping with some friends and my girlfriend to somewhere with a beach and nice views, I also happened to have received some incredibly strong (250ug) LSD in the post, ordered from the deep web. I had decided long for before leaving that I wanted to go further than I have ever been before, I wanted to take the deepest plunge I had ever taken in my 5 years of psychedelic drug use.

I managed to convince several of my friends, including my girlfriend to participate, however several of them had little to no experience with acid. My girl (who we will call Rebecca for the sake of this report) decided she would use her own acid as it was weaker (150ug) and she agreed to give some to the rest of the group, leaving me and my best friend (and also my trip partner for much of my psychedelic career) 2 tabs each of my 250ug tabs.

Anyway we arrived at our campsite and set up and spent the first day and night smoking weed with a fire, eating some nice food and having a general laugh. We all decided that the following day would be spent on LSD.

The next morning, we awoke and I was incredibly excited, I had a shower and got ready as fast as possible, skipping breakfast so I could begin the trip on an empty stomach as I have been told this increases the intensity of the trip. We gathered around our tents and each member of the group took tabs from Rebecca, I handed my friend 2 tabs realizing that I had one more tab than I thought and thus decided to half it with scissors so we could take 2 and a half.

We all dropped and to be honest I feel much of the beginning of the trip isn’t really worth mentioning beyond me explaining that it was going fine, nothing too intense, just hysterical laughter and incredibly beautiful hallucinations, it felt like it was going to be a pretty nice trip.

After a few hours the group began to split up, some of us were staring out over the ocean, perplexed by its incredible natural beauty, enhanced by the incredible psychedelic hallucinations we were all experiencing. Some were sniffing cocaine in a tent, and some were tending to one of my mates who dropped one of the 150ug tabs, he was having a very bad time. For selfish reasons I decided not to try help my friend due to the fact that about 45 minutes previously I had just dropped one of my girlfriend's tabs on top of my two and half 250ug’s. Things were really starting to get intense for me and I didn’t want to send myself down the wrong path by communicating with someone who genuinely believed he needed to call his mother because (and I quote) ‘he’d lost his mind to the ocean's sound waves’.

Instead I decided to search for Rebecca who seemed to have vanished. I found her in the tent having a lie down, she said things got a little bit too much for her out there. This is when my trip really changed. I took my girlfriends hands and kissed her, then I found myself lying down, but then as quick as I found myself lying down I was holding her hand again, in exactly the same position, as if I had imagined lying down, so I lay down again and the same thing happened, I appeared to be caught in a loop.

This happened for quite some time, and really got very freaky for me (and my girlfriend who wasn’t experiencing this and just thought I was a total nutter shouting about being stuck in a time loop). Whilst this was happening my mind was searching for explanations, analyzing everything, from Rebecca’s facial expressions to the way my friends were behaving , I gradually built up a complex in my head that to this day I struggle to explain, comprehend and put into words. I believed (and I mean really fucking believed) that through taking such a high dose of acid I had in some way unraveled space and time, quite literally to a point where I was experiencing communication with the infinite layers/dimensions that make up reality, it was like I could literally feel, hear and communicate with it all. It was like there was infinite versions of my girlfriend who knew exactly what I was thinking, at points it felt like I had hurt her greatly and then there were moments of beauty, but they were all individual moments that had been experienced with these infinite versions of her. I also communicated with my parents, I literally spoke to my dad and he told me he had never liked Rebecca and that I'd be better without her, but then another version of him was more supporting. It was insane to say the least.

I then gradually began to believe that I had came to the end of the world, like literally the edge of the world, and my life had all been leading to this exact moment, and now I had unravelled reality I was going to hell. I also began to believe that my friends had all been guardians for me to reach this point and now their job was complete, they had led me to the gates of hell and all I had to now do was fall back and collapse into the devil’s arms. Rebecca at this point had left the tent as I was really starting to freak her out.

The trip at this point was getting incredibly intense, I could not dream of being able to put any of it into words but it was honestly the most insane experience of my life, my ego had completely dissolved into nothing but I also felt like I myself had fallen into a void of which I would never emerge, a totally different feeling to that which I am used to on acid.

I doubted my life, I doubted reality, yet I felt like I understood everything in those moments… I literally understand the nature of reality and it still baffles me to now, I cannot explain it… what’s worse is that this explanation of reality was not what I expected… I previously believed that to be enlightened would be beautiful… this was not beautiful; it was fucking terrifying.

However, despite its scariness I still had a good time. Whilst all this had been happening I very quickly came to the realization that I had completely lost my fucking mind, I’m talking bat shit insane and I knew it, but I was glad... Actually scrap that I was over the moon, I was literally like (and I was saying this to myself when Rebecca had left) ‘I'm glad if lost my mind, I hope I never find it again’. I was caught in this limbo, I wished I had never come to understand this incredible euphony [epiphany?] (and in many respects I didn’t and still don’t) yet at the same time I wasn’t sure how I could live on knowing what I now know.

The trip continued and I managed to pull myself together a little bit, I rejoined the group and spent the rest of the trip rolling up and chonging weed, watching a very beautiful sunset over the ocean, absolutely fucked out of my mind. I remember thinking to myself that I wish I could stay in this moment forever, because in that moment everything was so clear, I fully understood reality and whilst it was scary, I was still glad to understand. I think the worst part was knowing that as soon as the drugs wore off I would not be able comprehend any of my experience, this made me incredibly sad.

By this point all of my friends were sniffing copious amounts of cocaine in a tent saying their trips had pretty much finished, I was still sat there feeling like I was on the tail end of a 150ug peak, and we’d been tripping for about 10/11 hours at this point. The rest of the trip is a blur to be honest, however I remember sharing some beautiful moments with my girlfriend whilst listening to tycho. We had amazing sex for the next 2/3 hours (if you’ve ever had sex on acid I’m sure you’ll understand how this was possible) which only ended because I was literally dripping sweat on my girlfriend due to the heat inside the tent. We then fell asleep and I woke up and to this day I’ve been unable to get my head round it.

Well this was my feeble attempt to explain it, I am still of two minds as to whether I should approach my revelation as drug fuelled nonsense or a genuine insight as to the nature of reality?

[Erowid Note: Claims of measured microgram dosages for LSD are usually unsupported. Quantitative measurements for LSD are very difficult to do and cannot be done casually. Without further detailed information about how the measurements were derived, it is reasonable to assume that most statements of microgram dosages of LSD on blotter or in microdots are either misinformed or overstated.]

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 110851
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Jan 9, 2023	Views: 935
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