Citation: sharpeyes. "Analysis of Evil in the World: An Experience with DOC (exp110903)". Erowid.org. May 4, 2018. erowid.org/exp/110903
DOC Report – Analysis of Evil in the World
Substance: DOC HCl – 5 mg (oral, sublingual)
I had long been interested in the DOx series after becoming familiar with the NBOMe series. In the past, I've had much experience with substances, mainly psychedelics (LSD—4x, 1P-LSD—twice, psilocybin—once, 25I-NBOMe—10x, 25C-NBOMe—2x, DXM—100s of times in all Plateaus and Sigma, diphenhydramine—10-15 times, DMT—once), cannabis (past six years on and off, but I don't identify as a heavy smoker), Adderall, Vyvanse, and nootropics (racetams, N-Acetyl Semax Amidate, PPAP HCl, RGPU-95, bromantane, -afinils, etc). I do not enjoy alcohol, depressants, opiates, and even at many times don't like using cannabis frequently (unless stressed or with psychedelics) because it, too, is slowing, lending to amotivation, and doesn't tend to confer many personal insights or heightened consciousness, at least, in a majority of my experiences. Cannabis doesn't seem to increase my creativity much, either, but it is very enjoyable around friends.
At first, the substances were to explore my mind or to see how far how I could push it and enter into insanity, as I was convinced even from the beginning that there is much more at play to our awareness and what is occurring in our world in the Universe at-large. I had always been told it was wrong or looked down upon to explore consciousness or to question beliefs (religious, laws, and so on), but I refused to accept this limitation and started the exploration into these concepts and the subconscious at the age of 14. I always had an instinct or intuition that if someone is telling me not to do something, that no matter what it is, there must be a reason to find out if they are right or not.
I always had an instinct or intuition that if someone is telling me not to do something, that no matter what it is, there must be a reason to find out if they are right or not.
Listen to what they are saying the first time? Of course not! I'd rather run the experiment myself and either discover a miracle or suffer a catastrophe—at least I learned. That's not to say I don't learn from mistakes, however.
The DOx series has been fascinating me long since my last trip six months ago, which was 100 ug 1P-LSD (a very much needed, positive and uplifting experience that reminded me of the good things in life and opened me up to who others in my life really were, at that time—behind the facades, lies, and egos). I enjoyed the NBOMes for their intense visuals (seemingly much stronger than LSD or 1P), but knew of how harsh and potentially dangerous they were. The cross-tolerance from NBOMes was much too long-lasting and they didn't seem very spiritually insightful—yet they were euphoric, synesthetic, energetic and creative. I enjoyed the long duration of DXM (sometimes Third or Fourth Plateau trips lasting up to 72 or 96 hours), but had long since become too familiar with the effects, developed a very long-term NMDA antagonist tolerance, and it became unsustainable to use in my life anymore. Any experience ceased to be amusing or new. I knew I was in for a long duration, anywhere between 12 to 24 hours, and have had very intense and long-lasting psychedelic trips in the past.
My SET: generally good emotions. Chipper and upbeat on most days, good amounts of sleep, maybe a little less than normal on some of the days. A lot of boredom and excessive downtime because of being on summer break, just completing final exams (A's in both classes, one of the best semesters I've had) and on hiatus from work. Not really any negative or down days and no depression at all. Minimal or non-existent stresses. I don't have specific intentions or “things I want to learn or discover from this compound”--I want to first experience its full range of effects to determine what it would be useful for, if anything. I take no medications, and have gone 5-7 days without supplements prior to this experience.
I obtained the substance of unknown purity, but from a source with good reputation anywhere I read about them. DOB is an illegal Schedule I in my country.
I dissolved 500 mg DOC HCl in 30 mL distilled water in a glass (nasal) 0.1 mL spray bottle, shook thoroughly and waited 5-10 minutes. I sprayed twice from the bottle, waited 5-10 minutes, and then sprayed once more. I swished with water and then swallowed and didn't really attempt to hold the liquid in my mouth before doing so. It had a very bitter or caustic taste, pretty much pure chemical, but didn't seem metallic or overly numbing—I bet anyone who has tripped on both LSD and something other than LSD on blotter could easily tell if it was DOB/DOC/DOI adulterated. NBOMes were completely tongue/gums numbing, whereas this (even though not on blotter) was only very mildly numbing, albeit very bitter and gross tasting. Surely a pure synthetic.
This approximates about 5 mg DOC, the strong range from PsychonautWiki claims 4-6 mg is a strong dose. At first, I thought I had miscalculated and instead administered 9-10 mg, and almost “freaked out” in this sense—or, at least, thought I was in for more than I actually was. I didn't actually fret anything bad was going to happen, I had gotten adequate sleep (8-10 hrs), but (mistakenly) ate a small breakfast of rice and soup.
T+0:20:00 – I received my first alert. My body already started to feel somewhat gelatinous, as though on my first dose of (actual) 2 hits LSD, so I knew the experience was going to be intense. I had thought this was a little too soon to be experiencing anything at all, yet was 90% or more sure that the identity and purity of the substance obtained was legitimate. I almost immediately felt quite energized and started getting an almost “rushing” or euphoric feeling incomparable to anything else. It felt “very phenethylamine” if this makes any sense, but a more intense, more bodily-rooted rush than NBOMes, and even more intense of a rush than strict amphetamines. I felt very happy, I felt like running down the street and dancing/smiling, but I knew it wouldn't be a good decision to even leave the house.
T+0:40:00 – I am going to be sick. There's no question about it, not just nausea and that I might vomit—so I go to the toilet and puke my guts out. After three or four intense wretches, difficulty breathing through nose, I clean up, rinse my mouth out, and know that that will probably be the end of vomiting or nausea in general, just like NBOMes and even occasions of this occurring on 500+ ug LSD trips. (Once the initial come-up vomit is over, the nausea doesn't return). My friends notice/hear that I got sick and are asking if I am okay, and I say yes.
T+1:00:00 – I start experiencing unique visual effects. There is quite a lot of drifting and trailing going on. Anything that I look at appears to produce multiple copies, at times extending off into infinity until the duplications vanish, only to be replaced by more, some with as many extensions and others, not so. I don't have much memory of things discussed at this point, but the energy and panic-variety feelings start getting much worse, but not in a way that I would say is negative—just too much energy to contain and very difficult to calm myself down. My fitness tracking device says my heart rate is about 130-140 BPM at this time.
My fitness tracking device says my heart rate is about 130-140 BPM at this time.
I convince myself that I am not going to get sick again and that I need to go back to my room, unsure if I'm actually producing a coherent conversation, which I am later told is quite erratic.
As soon as I return to my room, I start getting highly paranoid and imagining all of the worst possible scenarios. For example, I was given tons of mail that was supposed to be sent to other states all across the country, I suppose just due to incompetent workers. These are all sensitive documents, checks, very odd and uncomfortable postcards and things I shouldn't have anything to do with. I'm not a criminal nor am I the type of person to try and enterprise from this opportunity, so I start rapidly shredding all of the mail—no way I am going back and returning it, no way I'm trying to do anything illegal with it. I wasn't at all in reality, starting to get quite psychotic and instantly assumed that I was now under a criminal investigation, that “they” (who?) are going to break in my house at any minute, I'm going to get arrested for having (technically legal) research chemicals and start being asked tons of questions about why I have everyone else's mail. I couldn't possibly shred it all fast enough, and start freaking out because my shredder is overheating—I am just trying to get rid of it as quickly as I can.
T+1:30:00 – It feels as though I am at the height of the effects by now. It seems like having an entirely zero tolerance to psychedelics, serotonergics (or even really any “drug”--other than nootropics and cannabis for the past 6-12 months) is a critical factor for my sensitive and rapid response (and the first time ever using any DOx compound). I am at least a little bit more at ease now. The gelatinous/rushy body effects seem to have changed to a harsh, constrictive feeling that courses throughout my limbs (evidence of vasoconstriction), that I wouldn't say is all too uncomfortable, but certainly doesn't lend well to sitting still. It will now be impossible to sleep for a long time, certainly.
I am beginning to recognize patterns in almost everything, they are duplicating, replicating, morphing, and moving all around. This is a very visual compound, but I would not say it is very colorful. It is much less colorful than LSD/1P/25I/25C-NBOMe, but there appears to be much more pattern recognition than LSD, about as much as 25I-NBOMe, but there is more of an emotional and internalized connection to what I am seeing visually.
With LSD, it seems that the emotional enhancement is coming from within, whereas with DOC it is as though I am either seeing a visual representation in response to internalized scenarios or emotions, or that the visuals themselves are highly influencing my emotions. It's very accurate to say that, in many capacities, the way I am feeling at any given moment influences the way the patterns (on my ceiling, images on my computer/phone, drawings, …) affect further emotions, there's an amplification in the responding emotions, and this causes the image duplications to occur more, until they again go back to just one copy, I don't realize the pattern, and I have less of an emotional response (or even, NONE), and this keeps on repeating. I am making multiple, strange and unusual, wild and grimacing facial expressions (that I can't ever remember making), and imagining many (mostly negative or paranoid) scenarios in my head, but they don't seem critically negatively impacting of my experience in general—and they aren't “ruining it” and making it impossible to enjoy.
I'm finding it very difficult to decide what to do that won't cause me to worry, the anxiety with this compound is very intense. I definitely do not recommend it to anyone that hasn't had at least 2-3 400+ ug LSD trips in the past—to someone that doesn't know what they are getting into, the chance for an anxiety or panic attack (or paranoid episode or psychotic break) is perhaps 2-4x higher than if someone with no experience in psychedelics were unknowingly exposed to LSD or in a bad set/setting. At the same time as it is energetic, it seems rapidly mod and energy shifting—at times, I feel like running a marathon or dancing all around my room to fast paced trance/dance/electronic music, and at others, I feel very vegetative and lethargic—and these switches occur every 15-45 minutes.
T+3:00:00 to T+9:00:00? – I have no memory of pretty much anything for the next several hours. Even though I am writing this report only 3-4 days after the event, I can hardly remember anything that happened. Imagination is greatly enhanced, and the very rushy “everything is happening all at once, too many thoughts, actions, desires, etc, to put together or process at once” seems to be diminishing. It seems that right after this coming-up period, I've entered a zone of little-to-no recollection of anything that occurs at this point.
I am on the phone with a few businesses and schools trying to get a few things situated. Conversation is somewhat difficult, and I am highly convinced that they knew I was intoxicated on something. I'm having difficult expressing what I want to say in my head, despite fully understanding what they are saying. At this point, I am still highly delusional and believe they are part of “the investigation”, that the only reason they want me on the phone is so that “they” know I am “on the grid”, can “keep tabs on me” and collect information about my current emotional state. I'm having a great satisfaction of the customer service and calling experience at this point, it seems like I can really understand “who people actually are”, if they are legitimate or not, more readily realizing if they are sarcastic, genuine, evil, good
it seems like I can really understand “who people actually are”, if they are legitimate or not, more readily realizing if they are sarcastic, genuine, evil, good
, and so on, and can almost entirely imagine or predict their conversations in the background while I am on hold or they have me on mute. I have experience working in call centers and it is one I cherish greatly—I am a very chatty and conversative person, I would say that I am “nice” most of the time, but at this point I am having difficulty remaining professional and become very impatient, because I want my concerns to be resolved as soon as possible (time seems much slower than it actually is, although I know I am probably thinking, speaking and acting unrealistically quickly).
I don't have grandiose exaggerations of importance or egomania as is much more likely with LSD and NBOMes, but I still believe that this is a crucial research experiment in progress. I begin to imagine scenarios that I will be incarcerated, be charged with multiple crimes (despite having nothing wrong to my name), and that if I am still experiencing the effects from DOC, that I will be taken to a hospital, my blood/urine and even brain biopsies will be thoroughly analyzed. Yet, this isn't narcissistic in a sense that I think it is desired, esteemed and important that this will happen, it is almost solely paranoid and evil in a sense that is part of an elaborate, extraterrestrial experimentation—humans self-administering the research compounds that aliens influenced scientists to synthesize, and people like me (one of the all-too-curious guinea pigs) are not only destined to try them out, but also destined to be subject to the, at-times, evil and torturous control mechanisms and analytic observations. I think it's very likely that I need to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital at this point, to take antipsychotics again to turn this all off. At many times during this, it feels actually as though I am “losing my mind”, “frying”, and “going insane”.
I am drawing, listening to music, reading things on my computer and phone, zoning out into external and internal hallucinations, delusions, and scenarios. I imagine that after going to jail for the crimes I've committed, that I will be sent off to be a slave in another country, and that I will be continually subject to many evil crimes to which I have no control of. I start plotting alternate escape mechanisms, countries I think would be either fun or strategic to move to, cutting off ties and relations with everyone.
Everyone's evil intentions and lies become known (or suspected) at this point. This is not at all a loving compound. I feel as though almost all of the evil forces around me in the past 3-6 months are trying to uproot and take hold of my sanity. I envision all-powerful, multiple eyeballed, previously invisible alien lifeforms in the surrounding streets and neighborhoods, using powerful devices of control, harm, havoc and torture to either prevent humans from obtaining this higher frequency of knowledge, and collaborating with governments and the police to either make it known when humans raise to the higher consciousness, or to make it highly uncomfortable when they do so, so they don't realize their true potential, only resulting in them being institutionalized or imprisoned on antipsychotics so that they forget all of their revelations.
This is a belief I have held for quite some time. Even though psychedelics are illegal and even though I have experienced psychosis, psychotomimesis, and schizomimetic patterns in the past (significantly and excessively with dextromethorphan, especially with chlorpheniramine), “have things figured out”, and that much of the reason psychiatrists like to convince the patients and their family that they are dangerous, even if they aren't displaying risky behavior and are maintaining adequate work/school/daily life performance, is that they know secrets to life that could be dangerous in the hands of capitalistic, cruel enterprises. No, this is far from what the upper powers of the world want—they desire for people to be sick, unknowing and unwell, but not just to capitalize off of the illnesses that they create.
Many of these themes buzzed through my head, this is a very “teaches you what you need to hear (and not what you want or what makes you happy”) compound. It really brightened me up to the evils of the world and of life, whether colored by delusion or not, a lot of these things, I believe, are legitimately true insights. You can't really trust anyone entirely, even your closest and longest of friends and families, but that this isn't necessarily a reason to be distrusting of them in general. It is more of a reason, however, to continually question their motives and intentions—do they really have my best interests in mind? What are they trying to get me to see them as, compared to what they actually are? This seemed also very isolating of a theme—not everyone is bad, but the delusion manifested that it's a much better idea to not talk to anyone at all, don't let anyone know what's going on, and don't go outside, because it's better not to take a risk that I may get sabotaged by those that pretended to be the closest to me.
T+10:00:00?: I knew that I had to burn the trash of everything that I had shredded. Nope, there was no doubt about it—at any moment, the authorities were going to break in my house, kidnap me, begin their questionings and searches, and see the strange postcards and obscure documents (not hallucinations, those actually were there), and I would be sent off to the hospital and then to prison as a result of the alleged investigation.
I started getting highly frantic, I wanted to burn everything immediately, completely irrational at the fact that not only were these compounds legal, not only highly unlikely for “them” to find the substances in their obscured forms hidden throughout, but also not understanding the fact that the “accidental” additional mail given to me was multiple months old, and I can reason that I was just being a good Samaritan in shredding it just in the rare coincidence that someone would have shuffled through the trash bags. I realize it is too late (dark) at night to attempt burning anything and that probably, no one really cares.
T+12:00:00 – My friend starts restoring me to sanity, or a closer to rational thought process.
T+12:00:00 – My friend starts restoring me to sanity, or a closer to rational thought process.
Yet at this point, I am freaking them out, which I didn't at all desire to do. It's nearly impossible for me not to rattle off a thousand words a minute, not panic, and not jump to highly impulsive and assumptive/exaggerated conclusions. My senses are very heightened at this point. Everything is impacting me very emotionally, but as much as it is easy to suddenly cry at something sad, I can very willingly cease the crying and snap either into an unemotional state or an opposite, euphoric emotion. I feel almost as though a psychopath at this point, the ability to experience exaggerated emotions or blunt them entirely at-will kind of seems like how I can imagine a psychopath normally functions.
I am very aware of people's energies, yet I'm suspicious of all of them. I don't believe anyone is on my side, that they just want me to get in trouble for freaking them out. There are some minor color changes going on, but now it is mainly intensification of sounds, textures, and emotions. A mixture of the rushy sensations are returning with the zoning out while making unusual, twisted and disgusted expressions (at apparently, nothing). These are faces that I've never made before. I hear all of the sounds of wind, creatures, and insects outside. At times, I see objects (vases, indescribable and unusual things) suddenly appear out of nowhere for 0.5-3 seconds, then vanish, vary akin to sleep deprivation or diphenhydramine/deliriant hallucinations, but not in detail/types). I feel very exhausted at this point and as though I may go to sleep, so I go back upstairs.
This does not happen. I start having intensely erotic and sexual thoughts. Women appear very beautiful at this point, more so than they ever have, but almost exclusively in a way that is sexual/lust based, not on pure physical attributes of beauty. I am very horny, want to have sex with almost any good woman, and cannot stop thinking about it. I am having multiple fantasies, moving my lips, making love to the air with my mouth (LOL), grasping pillows and so on. I am having incredibly detailed and accurate closed-eye hallucinations of beautiful women that I want to have very passionate sex with. This is probably the most hornifying substance I have experienced yet, more so than even MDMA or amphetamines. Well actually, LSD is even more libido-increasing for me than amphetamines or MDMA. It is impossible to stop thinking about sex but I'm not talking to anyone at the moment, wouldn't even be close to functional in public without arousing very unusual or uncomfortable attention, and still feel a somewhat uncomfortable (but also pleasurable) mix of vegetative lethargy and sexual/euphoric energy.
T+18:00:00 – I get an energetic second wind. For those last six hours, I never ended up going to sleep, despite trying to do so a few times. I kept getting either restless legs, thinking too many things at once, getting too horny, too many new ideas, too intense of visuals or patterns, getting up to drink water (this is a very dehydrating, drying, hot and exhausting compound), and so on.
Now, it feels as though I am brimming with almost unlimited energy. I start doing some chores around the house, I feel the most motivated I can remember being in a long time. The hallucinations have significantly dwindled, now it is in the amphetamine phase that I read about. It is difficult to tell if this is a come-down, or just an entirely different progression or development in effects. In no way does it feel less intense—it almost feels MORE intense, but less psychedelic. It's almost as though there is some kind of metabolism into amphetamine (that I am unaware of or unknowledgeable in) and that this how now reached maximal effect. All of the chores I am doing are filled with such delight—instantaneous and profound dopaminergic rewards from accomplishing them—that I am “on top of the world” for putting some dishes away or cleaning the floor.
T+23:00:00 – I still feel quite energetic, but I am just ready to sleep at this point. By now, I am hearing voices that are probably a mixture of sleep deprived hallucinations and comments around the house from my behavior (they all knew I was tripping at this point). My pupils are still almost entirely taking up my eyes at this point, haven't really waned much (or at all) in size since T+2:00:00 hrs.
I feel very sluggish and drained. In fact, I feel actually dirty and tarnished. I feel that this compound is very synthetic, harsh and offensive to the body. LSD (and 1P-LSD) feel very clean to the body, that I am doing it (and my mind) a favor, and that I get a more appreciation of it (skin feels smoother, mind feels cleaner, life is at a richer and more uplifting experience). But, my skin is now scaling and dried out from the DOC, no matter how much water I drink (120 oz over the past 23 hrs), my urine is still quite yellow indicating dehydration, and I can't stop obsessing about peeling the dry skin flakes off of my body. I feel minor chest pains, probably from the tachycardia and possible stresses on the heart. During the entire duration of this experience, the average heart rate is 120-125 BPM, max is 130-140 BPM, and minimum is 110 BPM. This doesn't sound safe at all, and seems perhaps more tachycardic than 25I/25C-NBOMe, but feels much less vasoconstrictive, and, for some reason, less “dangerous” or “potentially fatal”, but also more damaging, if that makes sense at all.
I keep responding in my head to the voices I am either actually hearing or hallucinating. I feel very guilty for doing this, I feel like an awful person for subjecting my friends to my insanity and probably should have just saved these experiments for a time where I am entirely alone and am telling no one anything about them. I still fear for my safety and almost think about checking into a psychiatric hospital, that I need to go on antipsychotics to reverse any possible “frying” I may have done. Which, is funny enough, because any time I've ever taken acid, mushrooms, or anything else except NBOMes or 12+ mg/kg DXM trips, I've never even felt close to that I am doing damage to my brain or anything else.
T+30:00:00 – Finally, and I mean finally, I go to sleep. I don't even feel really overly exhausted at this point, I just end up drifting off to sleep for about 8 hrs. I wake up the next day, almost empty-headed which is usual for the intensity of the experience at hand, but not as though I can't do anything, or that I'm overly tired. I think 8 hrs of sleep is even a lot less than I should have had, but I move on with the rest of my day. The next night, I sleep for 12 hrs and that doesn't even seem close to enough, I consume 360 mg caffeine, but it wears off very quickly.
Remarks: This is a very interesting compound with a long duration. This isn't at all something I would recommend to most people. It seems that, in order of intensity, the effective dose of DOC is much stronger and intense of an experience than the effective dose of NBOMe. A strong DOC experience blows a strong 25I-NBOMe experience out of the water.
Every psychedelic experience is drastically different, at times highly indescribable (or memorable) and not always representative or replicative of how it will “always” or “usually” function, so while this experience seemed very evil (yet neutral and interesting overall), I can't say for sure that it will always include those themes. If the aliens I saw are real, I hope they don't end up killing the humans for having psychedelic experiences, it seems like it was a powerful learning experience. Definitely isn't very “recreational” or a “fun-having” compound.
Next on the to-do list is 3C-P, bk-2C-B, 3-MeO-PCP, DCK (deschloroketamine) (both for mostly therapeutic NMDAR antagonist antidepressant purposes, little dissociative experimentation will be done), and perhaps a revisit to DOC is in order, but not for quite some time. This isn't something I could “party” on. It may be suitable for a festival on a lower dose, but maybe the more tame DOM (which I have not tried) would be suitable in a lower dose for such occasions. DOC seems very harsh on the body, very susceptible to memory losses, psychotic breaks, paranoia, anxiety, dehydration, and a host of other issues that can be highly uncomfortable or that would ruin positive occasions. I would make sure to lock myself inside with a trip-sitter and have a good 36-72 hrs of no responsibilities. I probably won't try DOC again for several months, but the cost of it is remarkably cheap, 500 mg is enough to supply 100 of these experiences, but I can't even fathom doing it more than once every three weeks, just judging on how intense the experience is... that's over a six year supply!
5 mg DOC was almost too much for me, even though I've had over 150-200 psychedelic experiences in the past. It seems like 800 ug LSD would have been more comfortable than this was.
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