Citation: Fish. "A New Breath: An Experience with LSD (exp111044)". Erowid.org. Jun 11, 2018. erowid.org/exp/111044
So some background. I've done most drugs, it's almost easier to name the once I haven't at least tried once, having had significant experience with marijuana, 'spice', LSD, DMT, oxycodone, heroin, and Adderall. At any rate I used to smoke weed and trip and things were fine, then at some point I transitioned into opiates, long story short, got arrested, went to jail.
I got out about a month ago, and have struggled since to stay on the 'right' path. I'm 23 years old, no degree, back at my parent's house, no job. I've drank on a few occasions, smoked a pot, and even shot dope a few times, feeling relatively hopeless in the process.
An old friend from middle school ended up moving like five doors down from me. When I went over to hang out with him, the topic of tripping came up, as when he took out his weed there was a few hits of DMT and molly inside the jar. Asking him if he could connect me with somebody who had it, he gladly put me in contact with a person in Philly called J.
Now, my cousin T; we've always been close, like brothers. I turned him on to pot back in high school and got him drunk his first time. Altho he does not use drugs to the extent that I do, he does enjoy them. Being an intelligent person, I've always thought that he would benefit from and enjoy tripping. When the subject came up, it turns out that just as I always wanted to trip with him but never wanted to ask because I didn't want to push it on him, he always wanted me to ask because he wanted to try it.
Yesterday, he picks me up and we drive an hour into Philly to meet this J person. The commute was a hassle. J was very nice, altho talked foreeeever; with that said, I really do respect that she gave ' the talk' about tripping responsibly.
I really do respect that she gave ' the talk' about tripping responsibly.
Even tho I am a seasoned tripper, knowing that she cares is cool.
Anyway we get back to my place and T has to go to work, so I hold onto the tabs. Looking at them, I want to just microdose a bit...the logic behind this was to get a feel for the vibe of my current house, which I have never tripped in but did a lot of dope in. Thus I had some background fears that this would create a negative vibe. At a little before 6pm, I eat like 1/3 of a tab, followed by another little tear a few minutes later to total roughly half a hit. J said that these tabs were measured out at 130-140 ug. I've never gotten even an estimate on the potency of hits I've had.
My mom came home from work at 6 as usual, typically she comes home only for a little bit and then goes to her boyfriend's house leaving me with the house to herself. This was not one of those nights. She made spaghetti as I started coming up.
Within 30-40 minutes I began to feel a therapeutic expansiveness. With my issues of unemployment, parole, problems with my sister and dad, depression issues, I felt the need to explore these issues and began thinking out loud with my mom present. I have a very close relationship with my mom and do not have the most conventional mindframe to begin with, so this was not entirely unusual to have this level of conversation with her. Tho I struggled to find 'THE' solution to all of life's problems, I found myself able to tackle the smaller things, like how I should call my sister or apply for more jobs tomorrow. Seems mundane, but the way I arrived at it felt nothing short of profound.
After eating the spaghetti, as 7 oclock (t+1) approached, I decided I'd go for a walk. No matter how many times I trip I always get this sensation as I'm coming up that I can summarize as 'shit, what did I do?' The idea of suddenly tripping balls for the first time in 3 years in front of my mom did not sound very appetizing. Putting on some headphones, I set out on the trail around my neighborhood. And the trip really took off there...
Listening to the American Beauty album of the Grateful Dead, I set off on my journey and as soon as the song started, the flowers and the trees all began vibrating in that manner of animated psychedelia that I had missed for so long. Spotting a green bug on a tree, I stopped in my tracks to watch this weird creature crawl around. A characteristically goofy grin appeared on my face, one that would not part with more for another 5 hours or so. Passing other people on the trail gave me some anxiety as they approached, but deciding to say hi to them continually made me feel good because these people were not expecting me to say hi and it made me feel like a good neighbor. The geese were hilarious, just in the way they moved.
Then, I started getting the tremors. One of the more annoying effects of LSD.
I started getting the tremors. One of the more annoying effects of LSD.
Knowing that they're just a part of the drug allowed me to circumvent focusing on this annoying feature, nonetheless it sparks a certain negativity which I confronted rather than avoided and felt better for facing it. In the past, when I sold a lot of drugs, passing cars always sparked paranoia that these were cops or something, and I did feel this a little bit initially as cars went by but then came to the realization that I'm just not that important to be under surveillance. Not in a a bad way tho. Humbling.
Trails started kicking in. Not just little afterimages but I mean like rainbowey trails. Things started to look like they were oozing colors. Cooking, frying, it's hard to describe but everything was doing it. The setting sun cast a beautiful color onto the atmosphere, everything glowed in eternal perfection.
As it started actually getting dark, I realized that I'd have to return home. Checking the clock I found it wasn't even 8pm (t+2) yet, meaning that time distortion had definitely set in. Feeling some anxiety about going home where I knew my mom was, I sat in my backyard for a bit before going. Interacted with her briefly, then took the laptop and a book of MC Escher drawings to my bedroom.
In my room, I listened to the Wish You Were Here album by Pink Floyd. Here I came to peace with my newish house, where I had done all of my heroin, and been a scumbag in general. It's not the cleanest house but this did not bother me. Rather I stared at the ceiling as fantastic images came to the fore. These types of visuals were not omnipresent, just beneath the surface instead. Rather as I zoned out immersed in music I'd begin to see these kaleidoscopic snakes and shapes appear on the white ceiling. Colors flashed from light to dark, vivid to dull, one end of the hue to another. They didn't shift completely but definitely tried to. The music felt so much deeper than before. When I put on the album I felt it almost cliche to listen to Pink Floyd on acid as I've done this a couple times before but it was soooo right. The MC Escher picture book too was amusing when I'd get tired of the ceiling. Mindblowing stuff.
When I went out to smoke a cigarette, about three hours had passed since ingestion. It was now dark outside. Barefoot was the best possible way to go about going outside as my toes felt so good in the cool grass, and the clear sky revealed stars that looked like fireworks frozen just before explosion.
When I went back inside, I went to my sister's room where one of my cats refuses to leave. Sitting on her bed petting the cat I really started peaking. First, my sister left a few days ago for a friend's house partially citing 'my behavior' as the reason she can't live here. This kind of boggled my mind as the incident which set it off was because I slept on the couch and didn't clean up the food I ate the night before. But sitting on her bed I sank into her shoes, into her mind, my little sister, one room over, for three years watching me do heroin and go to rehab and go to jail...I cried, for a long time, realizing that this wasn't about me sleeping on the couch but a point on a continuum of upset and disappointment. I texted her, and was able to reestablish communication. The drive to improve my life for myself and for my family is still strong in me a day later.
Also, as I stared at the cat, I also lived its life. While I did not specifically think of it as this at the time, I say that I experienced her other eight lives. She was an empress at one point, and another a wise old woman whose wisdom rarely gets spoken anymore let alone passed on. At my old house this cat used to roam around the yard but now refuses to leave my sister's room and just stares out the window. I could practically read her thoughts from her eyes and saw all these perspectives that she used to have.
Altho acid is innately visual after a certain dose, at this point of the trip, at least to me, the visuals become irrelevant. When it first starts kicking in it's like cool, trails, patterns, etc, but after 3 or 4 hours at the peak, the visuals are old news. They're incredibly awesome, don't get me wrong, but they're there...it's the mental exploration that I'm in it for. Visualizing my problems as if translucent geometric shapes in space, I burst thru them all as I logically overcame a lot of issues. Dark Side of the Moon was awesome, then I ate an apple that was tiiiiight. Best apple ever. And perfect because I was hungry but didn't realize it, as tripping tends to do this.
Mucus production increases dramatically at least for me during trips
Mucus production increases dramatically at least for me during trips
, so I started getting these globs in the back of my throat. My mom came to talk to me, mid-peak, but I was able to handle that nicely and calmly. She didn't suspect a thing. At this point, t+4 or t+5, the effects begin to dwindle slightly. I'm texting my cousin and a friend in San Diego, and at this point wish I dosed with someone else. Altho in all fairness, I had no idea I'd actually trip I assumed I'd just feel a buzz. The euphoria was something so strong, I had more than enough of it: I wanted to share it. With my friends. With my cousin. With everyone. I remember texting J and saying 'Get as much of this stuff as you can and stockpile it as if there's a nuclear war coming. Then when there is a nuclear war, dose all the survivors so that there's never a nuclear war again.' I get like that when and after tripping sometimes, where suddenly it seems to be the solution to all of the world's problems. Tho not as naive as I was in high school when I thought everyone everywhere should eat acid, I do still hold true the belief that it can change the world for the better when used positively.
Between the 5th and 6th hour the effects faded rapidly, mentally anyway, to where by hour six I felt essentially back to baseline mentally, with the periodic resurgences in intensity that acid does, in its wave-like manner. The visuals dulled down to between 1/3 to 2/3 of peak intensity at any given time for the rest of the night. Tho as I said, at this point the visuals just kind of happen. Brighter colors, shiftiness of objects, etc. I watched Family Guy until maybe 5am, t+11 hrs, wide awake until out of the blue I fell asleep.
This experience was overwhelmingly positive for me. I haven't had a spiritual checkup in ages, which is exactly what acid supplies for me. You may take it to get fucked up, and you will get fucked up. When used for the right purposes tho this is a beautiful chemical. I only wish that I was able to share the experience and euphoria with others, at least one other. But soon I will trip with my cousin and do just that. And oh boy, I can't wait to see what a whole tab does!!
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