Citation: RMod. "Rollercoaster of Focus: An Experience with Armodafinil (exp111105)". Erowid.org. Dec 10, 2017. erowid.org/exp/111105
This is my experience with armodafinil. A buddy of mine procured some and loved it, he insisted I try it out. After doing lots of research, I decided it wasn't harmful for my body and I could really use a boost because my motivation has been shot the last few months.
After a few dosings, I feel one was the most salient. This is the report of what happened.
T+0:00 It's around 2pm and I'm waking up from a Saturday night that lasted into the deep A.M. hours. I've gotten plenty of sleep though, and I have to work at 3 for an hour while I cover the beginning of someone's shift. I'm still exhausted, so I decide to use half a pill of armodafinil. 75mg down the hatch. I haven't yet eaten so I go to grab some soup from the local sandwich bar. I ingest 1 cup of soup, Fritos, and a big bottle of juice. I've learned at this point I need to stay hydrated while using this stuff.
T+0:30 Hard to say whether this is placebo, but I'm feeling a little more alive. More talkative. I go pick up my mail and talk to the guy at the desk, we go on for some time and I realize I'm starting to actually feel it. A familiar focusing of the eyes and dull feeling in the back of my head.
T+1:00 Now things are picking up. I'm at work now and I am unusually unproductive. I'm not doing work I should be, but I am focused on something immensely more interesting to me. Often times I find myself distracted by little things that fascinate me when using this substance. This hour absolutely FLIES by.
T+2:30 I've situated myself in the library now, I ought to get work done. Another passing fancy hits and I'm massively unproductive. I am social, I talk lots, I am opinionated about areas I usually don't like to talk about. I find my words slipping from my mouth before I can consciously process them.
I find my words slipping from my mouth before I can consciously process them.
T+4:00 Now I have actually forced myself to put work in front of my face. I complete a task that should have taken me 4 hours (and at this point it has) in one hour. Quite well I might add.
T+5:00 Distraction hits once again. I'm not jittery but I'm certainly full to the brim with energy.
T+6:00 A friend of mine engages my mind in a dialog. We debate a controversial topic on which we would have agreed normally. Not today though, I was feeling extra ambitious. I wanted to show him his reasoning was faulty. He's not one to back down from an academic debate, and we go on for 2 hours or so. I feel the scent of delusions of grandeur wafting through the air in front of me. I'm overstepping my intellect and I know it. But I'm still going.
T+9:00 Back to trying to get work done, no dice. This pill is keeping me interested in things I like, not giving me motivation for menial tasks.
T+12:00 I give up and go to sleep. For an hour I get on my phone and cannot sleep until suddenly sleep overtakes me. I cuddle up with my gf for the best night's sleep I've ever gotten.
T+19:00 I wake up with no alarm. To the sound of my dog cuddling next to my girlfriend. I'm not tired though I can feel my body saying it should have more sleep. I try to no avail.
T+20:00 I decide that I can tell the pill is wearing off/wore off. I'm not tired per se, but my body needs something to get through the day. I take another 75mg.
T+21:00 I realize I didn't eat hardly the day before, I stop for some food with my dog on the way to a dog park. I eat 4 chicken nuggets a large Powerade and 5 orders of apple slices. Something told me to 'eat clean' I'm not sure I did that.
T+23:00 I get mad at my gf for something stupid. She's had a long day. I've been doing so much better at not getting upset over little things yet I cannot let this one thing go. My anger and anxiety are out of my hands. I resolve to meditate for 10 minutes.
T+24:00 I get in another argument with another friend about something I have no stake in whatsoever. I resolve to meditate for 20 minutes.
T+26:00 I have my emotions back under control. I am loving in a euphoric manner. My friends notice my energy and reciprocate. My gf notices. I'm a little salty to my boss who is giving me shit for no reason, but I control that anger and replace it with peace.
T+28:00 I've worked for 2 straight hours after FINALLY finding the concentration to say no to external distractions. My work is a better quality than normal and coming at a faster pace. My stomach starts to burn.
T+29:00 I am done with some work, and am euphoric. Happy to see people, happy to talk, to work, to live. However a storm brews below. It was not nausea that I felt, but rather a pain in the stomach unlike ones I have felt before. Not acid reflux, but similar in magnitude. Just a pain. I haven't eaten enough nor drank enough. I get myself some soup and a drink of tea with approx 100mg caffeine in it.
T+35:00 I am switching constantly between very focused on the work that is pressing and learning things I would enjoy learning. My throats is a little sore, and my stomach is mildly better. I take a Benadryl 25mg to get some shuteye and to help my throat. I sleep more or less fine, and wake up tired in my body, awake as hell in my mind 43 hours after the first dose.
All in all I've had a weird time with this substance recently. This experience was not normal for me, usually it helps me work without the distraction. I have experienced anger on it one other time, but usually if anything it helps me be more tolerant and forgiving towards others. I suggest it was the redosing the morning after. I experienced a roller coaster of motivation and extreme focus on distractions, and a rollercoaster of letting my emotions reign and being their master. I am not in a place in life where I can say this is not an unusual occurrence, but I can say that it was exaggerated cartoonishly by using this substance.
I will continue to use it most likely, but with a closer attention on hydration and my emotions.
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