DOSE: T+ 0:00	0.5 hits	sublingual	LSD	(blotter / tab)
T+ 2:30		smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

130 lb

I had my first experience with LSD about a year ago when I was 18, and I had been a regular cannabis smoker for about a year. I had a good friend that had tried it multiple times and she would always share with me her experiences. I was extremely curious to try it, but hesitant since I wasn't in the best mental state. In fact, this was probably one of the lowest points in my life. I had just recently starting to see a therapist due to my 'abnormal behavior.' I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety, major depression, and borderline personality disorder. My worst fear was going into a bad trip and not being able to get out of it or it causing some kind of long term trauma. It was between Oct. and Dec. when I was first getting introduced to the idea, and my friend had offered me some a few times, but I just told her that I was going to wait until I knew I was ready.

Fast forward to Jan. - something in my head told me I wanted to try it. I don't know if it was something compulsive or what since this was almost a year ago. I texted my friend and told her I was ready to try it whenever she could get it and to do it quick before I changed my mind.

After she bought the tabs she called me over and I dropped by her place after my classes, say around 3:30 PM. She had told me I could either take it then and there or wait until the next day since she had an overnight shift and I had just decided to take it right then and there. I told her I only wanted to take half a tab since I was worried about the effects. She assured me that it was nothing to worry about, but she'd give me half a tab anyways. I put the tab under my tongue and left it there for about 15-20 min before swallowing it. My friend had to run to see her dad for a drug test so while she did that I stayed at her place and watched Elf.

I started feeling extremely mild effects about 30-45 minutes later. It wasn't anything very noticeable but I definitely knew it was the LSD kicking in. It was a mild uncomfortable feeling like I want to jump out of my skin. Or like when I feel a compulsion and try to resist it and I get that distinct body anxiety. However, that was only part of the come-up. I was looking for any visuals and didn't see anything. I do remember looking at myself on Snapchat and telling my friend that it looked like my eyes, nose, and mouth weren't attached to my face. I also remember when I was watching Elf that Buddy screamed something and then it echoed. I got kind of confused because I knew it wasn't the TV, but other than that everything still seemed the same.

About 2-3 hours after taking the tab I still wasn't noticing many effects so my friend told me to smoke, which would increase the visuals and everything else - was she right! The first hit I took was huge and I couldn't really feel a burn in my throat at all. When I blew it out, everything made like a wave effect. Kind of like the effect they use in movies to transition from reality to a dream. Things started getting floaty and breathing almost. On the TV it was almost like it was 3D, things were raised and there was a more defined line. My friend made us some spaghetti and when I looked at it, it almost looked like it was moving like a pile of worms, but I knew it was just in my head. When I went to the bathroom my friend had told me to beware of the mirror, which I tried to avoid looking at but I did anyways. Now that - was weird as hell - I felt like I was looking at someone else, but I knew it was me. My eyes looked buggy and the more I looked into them the more weirded out I got. I noticed that if I opened my eyes really big I got these unexplainable visuals. I also noticed that my piss looked like I was peeing out acid... it was like a black or greeny like color. I'm still not sure if that's actually how it looks or if it's just in my head since it went away after my trip was over.

Around 7:30 PM my friend heads off to work and I'm there at her place alone. Before she left she reminded me that everything was based on my mind set, which I continuously reminded myself. I just sat there on the sofa staring at my surroundings and the TV. Everything still looks floaty and breathing like. There's patterns on the wall. Everything that I look at almost looks zoomed in. There's a portrait on her wall that her roommate had drawn out and I remember watching this video of this girl explaining how she saw a Buddha go from smiling to frowning, so I decided to see if I could get myself to see that with the portrait. At first I couldn't tell if it was working, but then the face would either smile or frown. It felt like time didn't exist. Time felt infinite and whenever I'd try to count... 1... 2... 3... I'd just get myself confused because as I'm saying one I felt like 20 minutes went by. At some point during this trip I decide to go out to my car for something (I don't remember what) and when I was walking out there it was dark and kind of spooky, but I kept reminding myself that I was safe and everything was in my head. When I got into my car I remember reaching over the the passenger side floor and thinking I saw a spider. Then one small spider turned into a bunch crawling out from my car floor. At first I panicked, but then I realized that it wasn't possible and that it was all in my head. I got the hell out of the car since it still freaked me out (I have a huge phobia of spiders).

I have a note on my phone from this trip at 7:53 PM and I wrote out 'I am in my own world. Not where I block everyone out but where I see EVERYTHING at a third person perspective. I feel so distant from everyone but in almost a way that makes me feel entitled.' I wish I could evaluate on that last part of being entitled, but I really can't remember. I can say that while tripping, it changes your perspective. It almost makes you feel like you're in a Nuke Town. You feel like your on a different dimension than others, and everyone else isn't real. Almost like you're God looking down on all the little people. I remember talking to my friends on Skype and wanting to socialize with them but I couldn't. I felt so distant from them, which kind of upset me. It didn't affect the trip, but I will admit that I did get somewhat lonely. At some point my friend's roommate comes home (I didn't even realize that she was coming home that night which scared the shit out of me). We chatted for a bit. I struggled with some of my words and couldn't really talk the clearest because every time I'd try, whatever I heard myself saying would get distorted and I'd get confused or lose my train of thought. I know I couldn't stop looking at her big forehead because there was some patterns on it. We smoked some weed together and then she went up to her room to go to bed.

The rest of the night, from what I can recall, I just watched Netflix. I watched Willy Wonka (with Johnny Depp) and That 70's Show. I noticed that I could see almost every micro-expression in their faces. The more I stare the more weird shit I see. I know there were times that I was just completely zoned out in my thoughts that I forgot my vision was a thing. I remember also staring at the TV and the colors would change. I remember feeling like there was some life answer that I was expecting or that this trip was something extraordinary. I'm not sure how to explain it, but I know there was almost some kind of dissatisfaction feeling.

It was about 12 AM when I started feeling the effects die down, which was slightly disappointing. I smoked more hoping it'd pull me back into the trip, which kind of worked, but also made me feel sleepy. About an hour or two later there isn't much effect, and I mostly just feel mentally exhausted so I smoke some more and go to bed. I remember being told that you have crazy dreams after dropping acid, but I don't recall having any.

The next morning I woke up still feeling a little off. I definitely noticed that I was still seeing vivid, which I didn't notice much when I was actually tripping. I had only gotten 4 hour max of sleep and I had to head to my morning class. It was about an hour drive which was no problem but I noticed that it was hard to talk to people and I was being quieter. I still felt like I was slipping up some of my words and I realized later my pupils were still dilated. My brain felt like mush. It was hard to focus on anything. I remember just sitting in a private study room thinking about the whole trip and everything that happened, but I couldn't read a simple math problem. I was mentally exhausted. When I'm tripping my brain works faster than time. It's like it's going on overdrive and when it's done it can't work anymore.

Despite the exhaustion, I felt refreshed. I had just had a life changing experience. Since my first experience I've tried acid countless of times and never have I experienced a bad trip. It's important to place myself in a happy and safe environment with those I trust. My mind is key because everything I see and feel is all in my head.

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 111271
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Dec 22, 2017	Views: 1,119
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LSD (2) : Combinations (3), First Times (2), Alone (16)