Citation: oops. "A Hole in My Brain: An Experience with Etizolam (exp111285)". Erowid.org. Dec 31, 2017. erowid.org/exp/111285
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Let me preface this by saying that I always use drugs responsibly, and encourage everyone to do the same if they are using drugs. I'm not a hard drug user, I stick to weed and psychedelics, but I have pretty terrible anxiety so I decided to branch out to benzos. I thought I would never fuck up, but this is the one time I did, and only time I ever hope to. Etizolam is a great drug and I have used it after this experience safely and responsibly. I can have good times with Etizolam, I've had many now. This experience however, was not a good time.
I picked up a package of thirty 2mg Etizolam pellets from a reputable vendor. The day the package arrived, I was eager to test them out as I've heard great things Etizolam, plus the day wasn't all that great and I needed to relax. After grabbing the package and running up to my room, I ripped it open and popped two pills. 4mg total. Nothing bad.
30 minutes passed, and I was starting to feel it. No anxiety, muscles relaxed, easier to talk, and overall much more happy. In my disinhibited state, I thought, 'Wow, this is great, let me take another pill to make it better.' In total, I took 3 pills at this point. I layed down, and listened to music, having a good time.
Then I blinked. All of a sudden I was in my room, with my mother asking 'What are you on?' in a concerned and scared voice. Total blackout. I literally time travelled. A complete hole in my memory. Because it was obvious I was on something, and there was no way I was getting out of this one, I admitted to my mother that I took 'Xanax.'
She believed me, and realizing I was still completely fucked up, left my room, intending on dealing with me the next day. I will not go into all of this because this doesn't have much to do with the experience, and is of course very personal.
I checked my stash, and 15 out of the 30 pills were missing. I looked around, and I found a few pills around my room as well. I have no fucking idea how much I took
I have no fucking idea how much I took
, as the missing pills could simply be that, missing. I am guessing I at least took 10 pills total, so 20mg, but I could be wrong.
I asked my brother what went down, and here's what happened. First off, I was unable to walk properly. I fell a lot, and ended up actually slashing my arm on something. Second, I wasn't able to speak english. I slurred every word and was impossible to understand. Third, I ate dinner, and then came back asking when we were going to have dinner two times after that. I can only assume that many more of these moments occurred, in which I asked the same question over and over again, lacking any short-term memory. I am now also missing many things that were once in my room. I have no idea where they are, and am still searching for them.
I write this report not to feel accomplished and 'cool', as I know many bartards do, but I write it as a warning. I am not a 'bartard,' this was my second time taking benzos, and now I only take them once a week and stick with 4mg. Don't think you are invincible, don't read these stories and think that you won't be a complete retard and take an insane dose. I was completely disinhibited, I felt like I could do anything, including binging on the entire stash. Rather than hide my stash and not think about taking anymore and stick with my intended dose. Stay safe out there everyone, don't make the same mistake I did.
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