Citation: atomu235. "Fabric of Existence, the Void: An Experience with Syrian Rue & DMT (exp111391)". Erowid.org. Jan 14, 2018. erowid.org/exp/111391
| T+ 1:15
| T+ 1:25
| T+ 1:35
| T+ 1:50
I am a 37 yo male with ‘medium’ prior psychedelic experience. I am highly functional, mildly autistic with Asperger’s Syndrome. Major deficiencies in empathy (I had to consciously learn basics of empathy). I am a chemist by education.
My prior experience includes 4-HO-MET (>50mg), regular magic mushrooms (I can’t remember exact dosage), ALD-52, 1P-LSD (>400mg), 1P-LSD with 4-HO-MET combo (my favourite), 2C-E (40mg), 2C-P (12mg) and DOC (5mg).
In this experience I vaporised several doses of DMT (orange, bit waxy, not 100% pure for sure. I like it this way as it’s much more visual) using an e-nail with a ceramic nail and a water filtration system (the taste this way is least harsh in my opinion). In my previous experiences with no MAOI I was unable to break-through with DMT doses up to 50mg. I had extreme CEVs with geometric patterns and a sensation of travelling at high speed with diluted time perception but it was not a breakthrough experience as far as I can say. No entity contact (well maybe once (?) where I saw myself in my mother’s womb and I thought I heard a whisper, my mother passed away. It was only a CEV, not a breakthrough experience).
0hrs – 1.5gr of crushed Syrian Rue boiled in water with some lemon juice for ~30min was ingested. I mixed the extract with some regular tea to make it taste better.
+1h15m – I had several doses of DMT pre-prepared. 1st dose of 15mg was vaporised. This resulted in the usual feel-good sensation and a ‘glow’ with some minor CEV.
1st dose of 15mg was vaporised. This resulted in the usual feel-good sensation and a ‘glow’ with some minor CEV.
With my eyes open the reality looked more than real (as usual). I love the way that DMT makes everything feel/look more real than real.
+1h25m – while still being under the influence of previous ‘inhalation’ another 20mg of DMT were vaporised. I believe that thanks to Syrian Rue and its MAOI properties the tolerance build-up was minimal to non-existent. The CEVs become much more intense than previous time. I felt as if I was travelling through space at high speed. OEVs were beautiful. I was still in full control of my thoughts.
+1h35m – another vape of 30mg. This time things started getting really freaky. Time seemed to stop for a moment and then go back (I know it’s impossible *smiley*). My hearing was seriously distorted. CEVs and OEVs were INTENSE. I could barely keep my eyes open at times.
+1h50m – final vape of 40mg. I don’t think I inhaled all of it but it was enough anyway (half maybe?). I had to wait a little bit longer for the final dose as my coordination wasn’t the greatest at this moment. Thankfully the e-nail I have makes vaporising a child’s play, especially with pre-weighted doses.
This is where I finally broke through!
Less than 30 sec after exhaling my eyes closed on their own. I felt as if I was blasted at high speed through a wall full of beautiful geometric patterns and flashes of light. Next thing initially scared me a bit but I went with the flow (golden rule of DMT!). I felt as if I was being annihilated! All of the fear, anxiety and fascination vanished suddenly. There was nothing more than ‘something’ that I can now describe as ‘fabric of existence’. It was extremely colourful and constantly vibrating. Stretching and contracting. Waving and re-shaping. I was no longer me, all my bodily senses were gone. There was only this ‘fabric of existence’. I was that ‘fabric of existence’. It was me and I was it. We were one and single entity, one singular force.
Time stopped, it was eternal and non-existent at the same. The best comparison that comes to my mind now is a photon travelling at the speed of light. Once you travel at that speed time stops.
That is all I can remember, that is all there was. I hope I am describing it well. As well as I am able to at least…
+2h05m – I am slowly coming back. It was only 15min but felt like much, much longer. I can’t say how long as my concept of time while I was in the ‘void’ stopped existing.
+2h15m – CEVs and OEV still persist. I am slowly gathering my thoughts together. One thing that is on my mind all the time is being glad to be alive. At the same time I miss the void and its eternal fabric. It’s like being between two worlds.
+2h30m - CEVs and OEVs are gone. There is only the usual afterglow of DMT and a smile on my face that doesn’t go away.
If I had to describe the experience in one sentence it would be “Dying and being reborn”. It was magnificent! I will most likely need a few more days to gather my thoughts. It was an experience of a lifetime for sure.
The only physical disadvantage I noticed was that Syrian Rue gave me a bit of a laxative effect. Nothing bad but two hours or so later I had to evacuate to the toilet. After that all was back to normal. My blood pressure and pulse also spiked after the 1st dose but normalized after that (I can’t remember by how much but it was only moderate, I think I mis-clicked my BP monitor and can’t bring back the result now). 30min after the whole experience was over I was back to my baseline of 135/85 (high normal) with 70bpm.
Having a timer on my PC monitor with times recorded each time I pressed space definitely helped in organizing everything. Time stopped being time as far as I can tell during parts of the experience. All times are +/- few minutes (I really can’t be sure, I was alone).
No entity contact so far still (myself excluded). I have read many other reports and was hoping to meet some other entity but no luck.
COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.