Heaven and Hell in One Instant
by jcdjcdjcd
Citation:   jcdjcdjcd. "Heaven and Hell in One Instant: An Experience with 4-AcO-DMT (exp111392)". Erowid.org. May 29, 2018. erowid.org/exp/111392

T+ 0:00
20 mg oral 4-AcO-DMT (liquid)
  T+ 1:30   oral 4-AcO-DMT (liquid)


[Erowid Note: Two samples of powder (even of the same chemical) with equivalent volumes won't necessarily weigh the same. For this reason, eyeballing is an inaccurate and potentially dangerous method of measuring, particularly for substances that are active in very small amounts. See this article on The Importance of Measured Doses.]

[Erowid Note: The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]

It has been about a year since my last major psychedelic experience and I thought I should share one of my most difficult and intense experiences on psychedelics. Background experience: I've tripped before on shrooms, LSD, 4-ACO-DMT, DMT, JWH spice (BAD IDEA) and a bunch of other research chems related to LSD and psilocin, plus occasionally smoked cannabis, tobacco.

This would be my third experience with 4-ACO-DMT and by far the most intense. I tend to stay away from research chemicals but this night my friend who I will call B and I had not tripped in a while and where I live shrooms are hard to come by so we had ordered some research chems from a trusted vendor a week prior. Tonight we had that 'psychedelic itch' and somehow it felt like fate to take this trip tonight....

T+0:00: So at around 7PM at B's house when it was getting dark we measured out 20mg each of 4-ACO-DMT and mixed it into some orange juice to try and cover up the bitter taste. It went down smoothly with only a little bit of bitterness. I felt a bit of anxiety about this trip, I have a bit of general anxiety and I find it hard to calm my mind sometimes before a psychedelic experience. B took his and is now watching TV on the couch. I close my eyes and try to calm my mind with meditation before the trip begins.

T+1:00: Not much has happened surprisingly, B reports a bit of a head buzz and bright lights but I feel nothing.

T+1:30: Still nothing. Disappointed, we write it off as a weak batch of the drug, and decide to take more. B takes another 20mg and says he is done messing around with it for tonight, if it works it works, if not he won't try any more. On the other hand, I am anxious to trip for some reason I feel like I need to do it. I pour an unknown amount (BAD IDEA - probably 40-50mg) of the 4-aco-dmt into my cup and chase it with orange juice.

T+2:00: I feel like I am on a roller coaster heading to the big drop at the top. Visuals are finally ramping up and the walls feel alive. I see all sorts of ancient patterns and fractals on everything. B takes a hit of cannabis from a bong, and when he exhales it seems like the smoke is made of thousands of tiny crystals shining like diamonds. It is incredibly beautiful. My anxiety melts away but I still a little tense.

T+2:30: The experience has become extremely intense. B says he is enjoying the visuals as he is watching TV but I can barely respond to him, my words feel jumbled and unnatural. I feel like I am losing control of my body and floating away. This scares me but I am somehow peaceful about it. I feel so weak that I lay down on the couch head in the pillow and from there I cannot move.

T+3:00: All I can see are fractals, patterns that seem to describe the universe, I feel connected with everything and humbled by a presence that takes all my remaining anxiety away. I am at peace with the universe. The visuals are indescribable and breathtaking.

T+3:30: Now almost 4 hours into my trip, there is NO SIGN of it going away. It is still getting stronger and stronger. I see myself growing older, falling in love, I see my entire life flash before my eyes. I realize that death is only a transition, and it should not be feared. I feel my ego melting away and getting lost in the fractals and patterns swirling around me.

T+:4:30: I am in this state for at least an hour, my memory of this stage of the trip is cloudy. Suddenly, forgetting everything I just learned, as if time did not exist, it felt like I was instantly teleported directly to hell. Like one second I was shown the good path, now I must experience the bad path. All the fractals turned blood red and appeared to be like gears tearing the flesh of my mind apart slowly. I immediately come back to having control of my body and I jump up from the couch and run outside and puke until nothing more comes up. Everything around me is this sickening blood red and I feel like I am going insane, losing every last thread of who I am.

T+5:00: I am pacing around the house holding my head looking like a complete maniac. It feels like my head and body are being squeezed so tightly that my blood vessels will burst and I will die. I start drinking copius amounts of water to try and flush the drug out of my system. I immediately puke again then fall over on the couch. It feels like my body is full of toxins and I lay there shaking uncontrollably. There are no rational thoughts in my head, only pure chaos and evil.
There are no rational thoughts in my head, only pure chaos and evil.

T+6:00: B enters the room and asks if everything is ok, to which I reply 'I think I'm gonna die'. This scares him a bit and he walks into the kitchen and offers me some water. This time it stays down and the cool feeling of the water entering my body makes me feel a little more grounded then before.

T+7:00: An hour later, I am sitting on the couch trying to ignore the devilish thoughts in the back my my mind. I feel gross, almost like my body is rotting from the inside. I had intense abdominal pain which started at when the trip turned bad, and it is thankfully lessening now.

THE NEXT MORNING: I stayed up for several more hours and fell asleep in the early AM. The trip slowly left my mind, but left it like a barren wasteland. I feel extremely exhausted and confused.
The trip slowly left my mind, but left it like a barren wasteland. I feel extremely exhausted and confused.
B and I smoke some cannabis and talk for several hours about the night before. I drive home and avoiding my parents and siblings, I get into bed and fall into a deep dreamless sleep for the rest of the afternoon.

3 Days after: I still get intense anxiety and chills thinking of that night.
This would be the beginning of a long break from psychs for me, but I have returned to exploring the psychedelic world, however I have never tried 4-ACO-DMT since, and I don't think I ever will. Now a year later, I still get a twinge of panic when I think about that day, and from writing this. It almost feels like the good and bad part of the trip canceled each other out though. I hope nobody will ever have to experience what I went through that night when it turned bad. Peace and love yall!

Exp Year: 2016ExpID: 111392
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 18 
Published: May 29, 2018Views: 2,303
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4-AcO-DMT (387) : General (1), Bad Trips (6), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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