DOSE: T+ 0:30	125 ug		ALD-52
T+ 0:00	10 mg		O-Desmethyltramadol
T+ 4:00	15 mg		O-Desmethyltramadol
T+ 9:30	10 mg		O-Desmethyltramadol
T+ 11:00	4 glasses	oral	Alcohol - Beer/Wine	(liquid)
T+ 13:30	2 glasses	oral	Alcohol - Beer/Wine	(liquid)

BODY WEIGHT:

130 lb

A Sensual Afternoon and Evening: Pondering Romance, Sexuality, and Meaning

Around noon on a cold Wednesday, I decided to take 125ug of 1A-LSD. A half hour before that, I took 10mg of O-DSMT as I find a mild opioid really helps mellow out the come-up and the trip, and creates a very relaxing body high in combination with psychedelics. My girl had the day off and I hadn't started my new job yet, so after clearing with her that she didn't have anything that needed my attention that day, I decided to trip. I spent the first almost two hours playing some Fallout 3 waiting for the drugs to come up. I was really starting to trip by the time I quit playing, but I had become so involved in the game; I had gotten to the Oasis quest and at the beginning of it, one takes some sort of hallucinogen to 'purify' one's self before entering some sacred grove lol... always a drug trip in Bethesda games when you meet a cult. I realized just how hard I was beginning to trip, because the sequence has been lackluster at best in the past, yet yesterday it was one of the more visually breathtaking sequences I've seen in gaming heheh. Clearly the drug was taking hold!

After that I decided to get off and Mrs. Gravy? and I decided to watch The Men Who Stare at Goats. This movie was confusing, comedic, and exactly what I needed. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. Suffice to say a lot of it is about pseudo-philosophical hippie mumbo-jumbo, and the ending was just perfect hahah. After that I felt a bit listless though, as the movie seemed to have little point or real direction (though I'm certain that was intentional), and rolled around on my bed for a few minutes in limbo.

After I had roused myself out of that state of limbo, maybe 4 hours after dosing, we decided to watch Stanley Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut, and I took another 15mg of O-DSMT. I'd seen the movie once, almost a decade ago... my god man. That movie was fantastic. It was so deep. It had so many levels. The cinematography was so spot on. I've never in my life seen anything like it. I had so many realizations about the nature of sexuality and marriage, it was almost too much to take in. It may very well be my new favorite film. For once, Tom Cruise gave an absolutely stellar performance. Most amusingly, the very last word said in the film was 'Fuck', which was the very last word said in any Stanley Kubrick film as he died shortly before its release. Such a fantastic man he must have been. The O-DSMT really started to kick in halfway through the film, and I felt glued to the couch by both the film and the warm body high I was experiencing. It was as if I was too hot, yet in a comfortable, massaging kind of way, where my limbs and chest felt a great warmth and mild pressure all over.

Following that, my woman had been drinking quite a bit, and the raw sexual imagery had, suffice to say 'spurred' our imaginations, and we retired to the bedroom for some fantastic intercourse. I think I've said it before, but I'll say it again, there is nothing like sex on acid. It was some of the best love making we'd had in ages, and we were both so energized that we went at it a second time after resting for a bit and re-hydrating. We laid around in bed for a while naked, snuggling and just being silly and flirtatious, her trying to arouse laughter out of me through tickles and me trying my best not to show that it was really tickling. Surprisingly enough, the opioid hadn't interfered with my ability to experience sensual pleasures, as I had no trouble performing or enjoying our love making. After about half an hour or so of this, we finally decided to get up and have some dinner around 8pm.

I was lazy and just made myself a pbj with some chips, she ate some leftover rice and bean soup from the previous night. Eating used to be so difficult for me on acid when I was younger, but not so any more. We watched an episode of Top Gear while we ate, and after that she headed off to bed since she had work early. I was still very wired by the acid and decided to take 10mg more of O-DSMT to mellow out at 9pm. I spent from around 9-10:30pm just reading imdb info about Eyes Wide Shut, there was quite a lot. It helped me to fill in some of the gaps that I was confused about or had missed, and was a very enthralling read. Interpretations of this film are as numerous as they are strange, and I had a great time piecing together my own interpretation, which differed vastly from the time I had seen it as a teenager.

At around 10:30pm, I decided I wanted to watch another movie, but I also realized I was far from sleep and desired some alcohol. Looking at my stock, I realized I had a lot of liquor but no beer, and while I really wanted a white russian, the heavy cream upsets my gut if I have more than two or so in a night. I was not looking to only have two, I wanted many, so I put on some jeans and a jacket and walked down to the local corner store to pick up some beer. I got a six pack of Modello and returned home to the warmth and comfort of my dimly lit living room.

Upon returning, I decided to watch a Woody Allen movie called To Rome With Love. The film was very typically Woody Allen (aren't they always heh) and detailed four stories of romance and fame in the city of Rome. I had recently viewed both Midnight in Paris and Cafe Society both for a second time, and I eagerly anticipated the same quirkiness from Allen's modern films. The film did not fail to deliver, most particularly as Jesse Eisenberg starred in it and for some reason I always enjoy his romantic roles. His character falls for a false girl who a wise shadow of Alec Baldwin tells him is trouble, of course he fails to listen. His experience in the film reminded me of my experiences with a few other women in the past who were friends of my girlfriend, the way he wants to leave his girl for this vixen even though he knows she'd be trouble and break his heart like it was nothing, as she moves from guy to guy, fickle and whimsical. Another story involved marital infidelity of the most innocent type, where the shy husband learns something from an accidental encounter with a gorgeous, nimble call girl. This too I identified with, as in the past I have learned things sexually from other women and taken it home only to use it when I truly 'make love'. I enjoyed the film greatly, and found so many ways to identify with the characters, and as with many Woody Allen films, I felt a sense of both longing and nostalgia at the concluding credits.

I had drank about four of the six beers by the end of TRWL (which lasted from about 11pm-12:30am), but still wasn't drunk enough to fall asleep yet. Most of the movies left in my Netflix queue were too long or too serious for me to want to start them that late, so I decided to pull Adventure Land (another J. Eisenberg romance heh) off the shelf and pop it in the dvd player. I've seen this movie literally dozens of times for some reason; something about the main character's situation and experience is so identifiable, and in the two and a half years after I graduated college it seemed particularly pertinent to my life. I watch it almost as a comfort film when I don't know what else to watch. For the first time in a while, I watched the film all the way through, drinking the last two beers between about 1-3:30am and snacking on some cheese and crackers. The film was the perfect choice for winding down, it was comforting and relatable as always, and after I finished the movie around 3:30am I finally felt ready to fall asleep. I tip-toed into bed, not wanting to wake Mrs. Gravy?, and tossed around for another 30 or so minutes waiting for sleep to take me.

This was the best trip I've had in a while. I hadn't ingested a full 125ug tab of 1A-LSD in many months and the trip was just the right strength. I had stronger yet still mild visuals over taking a half tab like I usually do, and disclosing my consumption to Mrs. Gravy prior to the trip helped in abating any feelings of shame as I sat there with perplexed looks on my face and sweat all over me. It used to be in the past I felt awkward tripping around her, and even still, if I try and hide it or she shows up halfway through, I get very anxious; yet yesterday was different. She was openly accepting of me, and never once did I feel such anxiety. In the future, I will keep this in mind if she's going to be around for my trips.

Sexuality has been heavy on my mind lately, infidelity too. This trip and the film selections I made during it seemed to help me in putting myself back on the ground and in a more contented place than I had been in the weeks passed regarding such matters. It was exactly what I needed, and has left me with a sense of gratefulness and joy over the wonderful relationship I have with Mrs. Gravy?. She treats me so well and is so accepting of me, and sometimes I just seem to forget that in a fog in sexually fueled tension. In the future, I will think of this day every time such confusion befalls me, as time has taught me that it will happen time and time again... but perhaps next time, I'll be ready to counter it. Or perhaps I'll just trip again and be humbled by the raw power of God's most beautifully inspired chemicals.

Exp Year: 2018	ExpID: 111576
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 25
Published: Feb 17, 2018	Views: 5,760
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ALD-52 (748), O-Desmethyltramadol (835) : General (1), Various (28)